6.29.2005
Mood of the Moment: Bored to Tears...
Music of the Moment: None
I'm so bored that I just took a quiz, a really odd and stupid one....I need a life...
GET A PIECE OF PAPER AND NUMBER IT 1-11 (NO CHEATING)
1. WHAT SHADE OF HAIR DO YOU HAVE? a) Dark b) Light
2. OUT ON A DATE WOULD YOU WANT TO: a) Go to a party? b) Go out to eat?
3. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR OUT OF: a) Baby-Pink b) Yellow c) Baby-Blue d) Turquoise
4. PICK YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBY OUT OF: a) Surfing b) Skate-Boarding c) Skiing
5. IF YOU COULD PICK A STORE OUT OF THE FOLLOWING, WHICH WOULD IT BE? a) Louie Vuitton b) coach c) againt all odds
6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE OUT OF THE FOLLOWING? a) hawaii b) London c) florida
7. IN THE SUMMER WOULD YOU RATHER GO TO: a) The Beach? b) Somewhere Cooler?
8. WHAT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY MONTH? a) January b) February c) March d) April e) May f) June g) July h) August i) September j) October k) November l) December
9. WOULD YOU RATHER: a) Chill at home b) Go out with friends
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE INSTRUMENT OUT OF: a) Guitar b) Bass guitar c) Drums d) The Triangle
11) NAME A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
**ANSWERS** (mine are in purple...)
1. a- dark= sexy [5points]
b- light = sweet [2 points]
2. a- go to a party = playful [2 points]
b. go out to eat = romantic [5 points]
3. a- baby-pink = cute [2]
b- yellow = loud [3]
c-baby-blue = cool [5]
d. turquoise = sexy [5]
4. a- surfing = active [2]
b- skateboarding = determined [2]
c- skiing = daring [5]
5. a) Louie Vuitton=tasteful[7]
b) coach=laid back[2]
c) againt all odds=sytlish[5]
6. a) hawaii =you like being around people [2]
b) L..You are quiet, and like the cold [2]
c) florida= You like to party! [5]
7. a- beach = tan, likes the sun [5]
b- somewhere cooler = pale and original [2]
8. a) January = popular [5]
b) February = lovely [2]
c) March = loud [2]
d) April = playful [5]
e) May =happy [5]
f) june = chills a lot[5]
g) July = smooth [2]
h)August = fun [5]
i) September = quiet [2]
j)October =out-going [2]
k) November = pimpin' it [5]
l)December = warm [2]
9. a- home = quiet, romantic [5]
b- go out with friends =crazy [5]
10. a- guitar = eye-catching [5]
b- bass-guitar = mellow [2]
c- Drums = loud [2]
d- Triangle = crazy [5]
11. This person will fall in love with you! (not telling)
SCORES!!!!
UP TO 20 = Not so Sexy
21-35 = Rather sexy
36+ = Too Sexy for this Test!!!!
Yea, this just shows you how bored I am today....have fun...
Much Love,
DeAnna
So When you grow up,
give me a call
Until then dont worry,
I'll still be there to break your falls
the ones I know you'll take
'cause that's what happens
when all your words are fake
but dont worry about me
I'm just another stepping stone
in a little boy's road
to being a man...
Music of the Moment: None
I'm so bored that I just took a quiz, a really odd and stupid one....I need a life...
GET A PIECE OF PAPER AND NUMBER IT 1-11 (NO CHEATING)
1. WHAT SHADE OF HAIR DO YOU HAVE? a) Dark b) Light
2. OUT ON A DATE WOULD YOU WANT TO: a) Go to a party? b) Go out to eat?
3. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR OUT OF: a) Baby-Pink b) Yellow c) Baby-Blue d) Turquoise
4. PICK YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBY OUT OF: a) Surfing b) Skate-Boarding c) Skiing
5. IF YOU COULD PICK A STORE OUT OF THE FOLLOWING, WHICH WOULD IT BE? a) Louie Vuitton b) coach c) againt all odds
6. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE OUT OF THE FOLLOWING? a) hawaii b) London c) florida
7. IN THE SUMMER WOULD YOU RATHER GO TO: a) The Beach? b) Somewhere Cooler?
8. WHAT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY MONTH? a) January b) February c) March d) April e) May f) June g) July h) August i) September j) October k) November l) December
9. WOULD YOU RATHER: a) Chill at home b) Go out with friends
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE INSTRUMENT OUT OF: a) Guitar b) Bass guitar c) Drums d) The Triangle
11) NAME A PERSON OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
**ANSWERS** (mine are in purple...)
1. a- dark= sexy [5points]
b- light = sweet [2 points]
2. a- go to a party = playful [2 points]
b. go out to eat = romantic [5 points]
3. a- baby-pink = cute [2]
b- yellow = loud [3]
c-baby-blue = cool [5]
d. turquoise = sexy [5]
4. a- surfing = active [2]
b- skateboarding = determined [2]
c- skiing = daring [5]
5. a) Louie Vuitton=tasteful[7]
b) coach=laid back[2]
c) againt all odds=sytlish[5]
6. a) hawaii =you like being around people [2]
b) L..You are quiet, and like the cold [2]
c) florida= You like to party! [5]
7. a- beach = tan, likes the sun [5]
b- somewhere cooler = pale and original [2]
8. a) January = popular [5]
b) February = lovely [2]
c) March = loud [2]
d) April = playful [5]
e) May =happy [5]
f) june = chills a lot[5]
g) July = smooth [2]
h)August = fun [5]
i) September = quiet [2]
j)October =out-going [2]
k) November = pimpin' it [5]
l)December = warm [2]
9. a- home = quiet, romantic [5]
b- go out with friends =crazy [5]
10. a- guitar = eye-catching [5]
b- bass-guitar = mellow [2]
c- Drums = loud [2]
d- Triangle = crazy [5]
11. This person will fall in love with you! (not telling)
SCORES!!!!
UP TO 20 = Not so Sexy
21-35 = Rather sexy
36+ = Too Sexy for this Test!!!!
Yea, this just shows you how bored I am today....have fun...
Much Love,
DeAnna
So When you grow up,
give me a call
Until then dont worry,
I'll still be there to break your falls
the ones I know you'll take
'cause that's what happens
when all your words are fake
but dont worry about me
I'm just another stepping stone
in a little boy's road
to being a man...
6.28.2005
Mood of the Moment: Kinda nervous excited...there is like a wierd knot in me stomach
Music of the Moment: Dashboard Confessionals - Standard Lines
Ok, so I decided to take a moment from my suprisingly somewhat eventful day to blog...hehe imagine that? Me blogging while it is still daylight...and not in the EARLY AM!! Yea...I'm full of surprises...hehe...
So today I woke up at around 8, which isn't usually a big deal, except that I stayed up until 4.5 last night...so errr...but yea. I got up and went to the doctor with my Grandmother, she goes to the cardiologist at the hospital, and she always needs someone to go with her for many reasons (she has to be pushed in a wheelchair, she doesn't understand a word the doc. says, she doesn't REMEMBER it even if she does understand...etc...) but because her and my mom cant really be together too long without yelling, gnashing of teeth, possible eardrum rupture, possible grudge-holding, headaches, etc.....then I got to go. It was ok this time, not too bad....
after the Doc. appt....we went to eat, at the place where dear Jason works...hehe...my grandmother found out that I knew the guy in the black that was bussing the tables, and she immediately went into hook-up mode. Haha, I thought it was funny....she was all like "he is a cute little fella....are you two just friends??" yada yada yada....it was so funny!!! I was like "Memaw, just stop!!"...hehe, I just told her that I had someone that I was seeing, and to leave it at that...she dropped it, and i was happy. I left a letter for Jason trying to cheer him up though, because last time I talked to him he was kind of....upset....but yea...I tried...
I've come to the conclusion that Dustin lives too far away...
Anyway, yea, I am about to go give blood for the Red Cross, and that is why I am nervous...wish me luck!!!!! After that I am off to go... um... somewhere...hehe...but yea, I am off now, because I really have to leave in like 2 seconds...I might blog later....dont know....
Much Love,
DeAnna
which of the standard lines will we use?
"I've been meaning to call you.
I've just been so busy.
We'll catch up soon.
Let's make it a point to."
But your taste still lingers on my lips
like I just placed them upon yours and I starve...
I starve for you.
But this new diet's liquid
and dulling to the senses.
And it's crude, but it will do...
Music of the Moment: Dashboard Confessionals - Standard Lines
Ok, so I decided to take a moment from my suprisingly somewhat eventful day to blog...hehe imagine that? Me blogging while it is still daylight...and not in the EARLY AM!! Yea...I'm full of surprises...hehe...
So today I woke up at around 8, which isn't usually a big deal, except that I stayed up until 4.5 last night...so errr...but yea. I got up and went to the doctor with my Grandmother, she goes to the cardiologist at the hospital, and she always needs someone to go with her for many reasons (she has to be pushed in a wheelchair, she doesn't understand a word the doc. says, she doesn't REMEMBER it even if she does understand...etc...) but because her and my mom cant really be together too long without yelling, gnashing of teeth, possible eardrum rupture, possible grudge-holding, headaches, etc.....then I got to go. It was ok this time, not too bad....
after the Doc. appt....we went to eat, at the place where dear Jason works...hehe...my grandmother found out that I knew the guy in the black that was bussing the tables, and she immediately went into hook-up mode. Haha, I thought it was funny....she was all like "he is a cute little fella....are you two just friends??" yada yada yada....it was so funny!!! I was like "Memaw, just stop!!"...hehe, I just told her that I had someone that I was seeing, and to leave it at that...she dropped it, and i was happy. I left a letter for Jason trying to cheer him up though, because last time I talked to him he was kind of....upset....but yea...I tried...
I've come to the conclusion that Dustin lives too far away...
Anyway, yea, I am about to go give blood for the Red Cross, and that is why I am nervous...wish me luck!!!!! After that I am off to go... um... somewhere...hehe...but yea, I am off now, because I really have to leave in like 2 seconds...I might blog later....dont know....
Much Love,
DeAnna
which of the standard lines will we use?
"I've been meaning to call you.
I've just been so busy.
We'll catch up soon.
Let's make it a point to."
But your taste still lingers on my lips
like I just placed them upon yours and I starve...
I starve for you.
But this new diet's liquid
and dulling to the senses.
And it's crude, but it will do...
Mood of the Moment: Feelin' REEEL!!! *winks*
Music of the Moment: Listen to Your Heart, the remake, IDK who it is by...
Alright, let's see, what has DeAnna done since my last post?? Hmmm...I have gone swimming! That was actually pretty fun...my brother clung to me like mad (oh my GOSH...I need to have a talk with Dustin..he needs to stop saying that so that I dont REALLY pick it up...hehe...'tis Dustin...) But when they have the "pool breaks", then people 18 and over are allowed into the pool....well...I was happy b/c that meant I would get to go into the pool during pool breaks now (so what if I have been doing it anyway, this time it wouldn't be breaking the rules!)....but this time, as is my luck...they didn't have a single break!!! Grr!!!!
Anyways, I got home and discovered that on my NEW answering machine I had two messages for me, they made me feel special but it was much too late to call anyone back...oops...come to think about it...I never did call Sydney back...I guess i will tomorrow...but I called Bracken back today, after being bored to tears for most of the day...talked to her for a while. It is amazing, I think she and I have the record for the most time I've ever talked on the phone for one stretch...it is crazy...out-of-the-blue-extensively-long-phone calls are a hebit of Bracken's...hehe...I dont mind...
So as I was on the phone with Bracken, Emily popped up on the computer and was like "Deanna deanna deanna....wanna go to the coffee shop??? coffee coffee coffee...." and I apparently didn't see these for a minute because I was in my room....but I got on and talked to her for a sec online, told her I needed a ride, and she told me to call Tiffany....so i ended the call with Bracken with an "outing IOU" and called Tiffany and poof....my adventure for the night began...I talked to Tiffany for a bit before I got off the phone, and as I was getting ready my dear friend Jennifer called....and I was aggrivated because I ended up having to get off the phone because of an important beep for my mom...and then just before I left Dear Dustin called and for the first time in my life I could understand why extremely popular people get aggrivated....I felt so bad telling him I couldn't talk right now...grr...but then Tiffany showed up...
Tiffany and I were "fashionably late" to the gathering that was at the coffee shop...it was supposed to be at 6.5, and we got there at about 6.75...but it is all good...especially when Emily is around!!! Oh yea, ramble ramble I love You Emily!!!! hehe...(I know she'll see this, because she reads this blog like obsessively...hehe...gossip gossip...) But yea, along with Em, Tiff, and myself were Justin (?last name? the one that hung around when I used to sit at the front of the school in the mornings...), his sister Caitlyn (?sp?), their mom, and Lovely Ron Stopable (or, Ron Dunsmore, if you prefer to be completely un-theatrical...)...We all gathered around out little tables with our drinks that contained FAR more Caffiene then what we needed to have and laughed at about anything....then we went to Emily's to porch it...but we kind of ended up ditching the porch and opting for the air-conditioned interior of the house for a while(which, even though I have been there several times, it actually the FIRST time I think I have ever stepped inside her house....and speaking of steps...she has 13 steps!!!!eek!) But yea, as usual...new words were created...new songs were sang....my personal space was invaded constantly...our abdomens all hurt from laughing at several points in time...the age olg "ketchup and Gays" discussion was brought up(hehe)....and along those lines...many new inside jokes were created. Oh yea, and I saw a picture of someone that I have talked online to alot but never met...Gee, Nate, you are cute...it's amazing that the girls aren't just hanging all over you....hehe...*winks*....much love nate...
Anywho, after dancing in the rain for a bit, and riding home in a bloody downpour (hmmm....after using the word "bloody", I just remembered that I give Blood tomorrow...) I came home and chilled with the familia for a bit...wandered the net aimlessly for a while...talked to a couple of people online (found out i had missed Crystal at the Bear by like 10 minutes tops...)..hehe, I found the only trace of anything that I have ever seen Brian willingly put on the internet...it was a long time ago...but yea, it is interesting...hmmm....I wonder how he is....oh well...then I blogged...and then it was now...(think about that last statement "then it was now"....trippy, if you think about it...)yea....I'm obviously tired...goodnight to all....
Much Love (really),
DeAnna
the space between
the tears we cry
is the laughter that keeps us
coming back for more...
Music of the Moment: Listen to Your Heart, the remake, IDK who it is by...
Alright, let's see, what has DeAnna done since my last post?? Hmmm...I have gone swimming! That was actually pretty fun...my brother clung to me like mad (oh my GOSH...I need to have a talk with Dustin..he needs to stop saying that so that I dont REALLY pick it up...hehe...'tis Dustin...) But when they have the "pool breaks", then people 18 and over are allowed into the pool....well...I was happy b/c that meant I would get to go into the pool during pool breaks now (so what if I have been doing it anyway, this time it wouldn't be breaking the rules!)....but this time, as is my luck...they didn't have a single break!!! Grr!!!!
Anyways, I got home and discovered that on my NEW answering machine I had two messages for me, they made me feel special but it was much too late to call anyone back...oops...come to think about it...I never did call Sydney back...I guess i will tomorrow...but I called Bracken back today, after being bored to tears for most of the day...talked to her for a while. It is amazing, I think she and I have the record for the most time I've ever talked on the phone for one stretch...it is crazy...out-of-the-blue-extensively-long-phone calls are a hebit of Bracken's...hehe...I dont mind...
So as I was on the phone with Bracken, Emily popped up on the computer and was like "Deanna deanna deanna....wanna go to the coffee shop??? coffee coffee coffee...." and I apparently didn't see these for a minute because I was in my room....but I got on and talked to her for a sec online, told her I needed a ride, and she told me to call Tiffany....so i ended the call with Bracken with an "outing IOU" and called Tiffany and poof....my adventure for the night began...I talked to Tiffany for a bit before I got off the phone, and as I was getting ready my dear friend Jennifer called....and I was aggrivated because I ended up having to get off the phone because of an important beep for my mom...and then just before I left Dear Dustin called and for the first time in my life I could understand why extremely popular people get aggrivated....I felt so bad telling him I couldn't talk right now...grr...but then Tiffany showed up...
Tiffany and I were "fashionably late" to the gathering that was at the coffee shop...it was supposed to be at 6.5, and we got there at about 6.75...but it is all good...especially when Emily is around!!! Oh yea, ramble ramble I love You Emily!!!! hehe...(I know she'll see this, because she reads this blog like obsessively...hehe...gossip gossip...) But yea, along with Em, Tiff, and myself were Justin (?last name? the one that hung around when I used to sit at the front of the school in the mornings...), his sister Caitlyn (?sp?), their mom, and Lovely Ron Stopable (or, Ron Dunsmore, if you prefer to be completely un-theatrical...)...We all gathered around out little tables with our drinks that contained FAR more Caffiene then what we needed to have and laughed at about anything....then we went to Emily's to porch it...but we kind of ended up ditching the porch and opting for the air-conditioned interior of the house for a while(which, even though I have been there several times, it actually the FIRST time I think I have ever stepped inside her house....and speaking of steps...she has 13 steps!!!!eek!) But yea, as usual...new words were created...new songs were sang....my personal space was invaded constantly...our abdomens all hurt from laughing at several points in time...the age olg "ketchup and Gays" discussion was brought up(hehe)....and along those lines...many new inside jokes were created. Oh yea, and I saw a picture of someone that I have talked online to alot but never met...Gee, Nate, you are cute...it's amazing that the girls aren't just hanging all over you....hehe...*winks*....much love nate...
Anywho, after dancing in the rain for a bit, and riding home in a bloody downpour (hmmm....after using the word "bloody", I just remembered that I give Blood tomorrow...) I came home and chilled with the familia for a bit...wandered the net aimlessly for a while...talked to a couple of people online (found out i had missed Crystal at the Bear by like 10 minutes tops...)..hehe, I found the only trace of anything that I have ever seen Brian willingly put on the internet...it was a long time ago...but yea, it is interesting...hmmm....I wonder how he is....oh well...then I blogged...and then it was now...(think about that last statement "then it was now"....trippy, if you think about it...)yea....I'm obviously tired...goodnight to all....
Much Love (really),
DeAnna
the space between
the tears we cry
is the laughter that keeps us
coming back for more...
6.25.2005
Mood of the Moment: Pointlessly excited!!!
Music of the Moment: Jewel - Hands
Ok, so today (aside from being exceptionally boring) has actually been quite good!!! I didn't go to sleep until nearly five this morning, so I slept until like noon. But it is all good. I got up and my mom was on the computer, which is never good, because she has really not much of any idea what to do on the internet...so I helped her out and talked to a couple of people online...watched a movie with the kids...and went to see Paw-Paw for a bit...
I came home, looked at the clock, realized that I was terribly bored....tried to call Dustin to see if he wanted to go see Batman, but he was busy so he said he'd call back later...Called Brian's (wondering if he was home yet...) he was there, but busy as well....and again said he'd call back later...hmmm....everyone else was out of town...So I got online and talked to Jake for the first time in ages, Brian ended up stopping by to show me some of the stuff he got at Bagpipe camp...came inside, talked online a bit more, got off of there b/c Dustin called, but couldn't talk for long, said he'd call me at like 9...
At around 8, however, my family decided to go out for a chinese dinner, and include my aunt so that we could be entertained by her condescending remarks about how our family is run the entire time we are there, and how she would do it, and how wonderful her girls are because of how great her parenting skills are....what she fails to realize is that nearly every bad thing I have tried in my teenage years....I was introduced to by her perfect children...and that My parents' eldest daughter wouldn't have such a horrible reputation if her perfect daughters hadn't been huge rubber-neckers (love that word) and thought that they knew something that they really had no idea about and decided to go behind my back and spread a crap-load of rumors about me to my entire family but me so that my life could get just a little worse than it currently was! I love my family, I love everyone, I really do, but it ticks me off when they do stuff like this....it isn't good enough for them to be all holier than thou...but then they have to make sure that everyone thinks they are better than you by making you look like some tramp! This, my friends, is my family. Tonight it was brought up that I go to guys' houses...oh my God...I go to guys' houses....and I'm only 18....Lord knows now I will end up pregnant because I just cant keep myself from banging anything with a y-chromosome!!!! You know when she was my age, she was not allowed to go anywhere, and when her oldest daughter was my age, she could never go over to a guy's house, dating or not, yada yada yada....I really hate to tell her this....but she was at work a LOT back then...I saw her daughters a lot, and when she says that her sweet girl never went to any guys' houses, or did any "naughty" things with a guy....heh...she doesn't know how badly she is Lieing!!!! I mean....wow...I still haven't cought up to the things that her precious daughter did. GRR!!!!!!! *sigh* But I know who I am, God knows who I am and what I and other people do....and that is what matters....so I shall not bother with it...even though they did sort of screw up my entire life for a bit....I forgive them...
Anyway....I went to Wal-Mart afterwards....and got meself a phone with an answering machine...it makes me happy, even though if the couple of calls that I was expecting tonight actually occured, then it didn't do any good....but in the future!!!! I shall recieve messages....and I have caller ID....so I can look and say...."I do not want to talk to that person!!!" and not pick up the phone!!!!! Hehe....'tis the simple things in life...
But alas, I am tired, and I am going to go now so that when I get my wake-up call in the morning I shall not hate life...Much Love to all
De Toi Tousjours,
~DeAnna~
Je dois savoir
que vous serez toujours ici
parce que je ne peux pas
vivre sans vous
Music of the Moment: Jewel - Hands
Ok, so today (aside from being exceptionally boring) has actually been quite good!!! I didn't go to sleep until nearly five this morning, so I slept until like noon. But it is all good. I got up and my mom was on the computer, which is never good, because she has really not much of any idea what to do on the internet...so I helped her out and talked to a couple of people online...watched a movie with the kids...and went to see Paw-Paw for a bit...
I came home, looked at the clock, realized that I was terribly bored....tried to call Dustin to see if he wanted to go see Batman, but he was busy so he said he'd call back later...Called Brian's (wondering if he was home yet...) he was there, but busy as well....and again said he'd call back later...hmmm....everyone else was out of town...So I got online and talked to Jake for the first time in ages, Brian ended up stopping by to show me some of the stuff he got at Bagpipe camp...came inside, talked online a bit more, got off of there b/c Dustin called, but couldn't talk for long, said he'd call me at like 9...
At around 8, however, my family decided to go out for a chinese dinner, and include my aunt so that we could be entertained by her condescending remarks about how our family is run the entire time we are there, and how she would do it, and how wonderful her girls are because of how great her parenting skills are....what she fails to realize is that nearly every bad thing I have tried in my teenage years....I was introduced to by her perfect children...and that My parents' eldest daughter wouldn't have such a horrible reputation if her perfect daughters hadn't been huge rubber-neckers (love that word) and thought that they knew something that they really had no idea about and decided to go behind my back and spread a crap-load of rumors about me to my entire family but me so that my life could get just a little worse than it currently was! I love my family, I love everyone, I really do, but it ticks me off when they do stuff like this....it isn't good enough for them to be all holier than thou...but then they have to make sure that everyone thinks they are better than you by making you look like some tramp! This, my friends, is my family. Tonight it was brought up that I go to guys' houses...oh my God...I go to guys' houses....and I'm only 18....Lord knows now I will end up pregnant because I just cant keep myself from banging anything with a y-chromosome!!!! You know when she was my age, she was not allowed to go anywhere, and when her oldest daughter was my age, she could never go over to a guy's house, dating or not, yada yada yada....I really hate to tell her this....but she was at work a LOT back then...I saw her daughters a lot, and when she says that her sweet girl never went to any guys' houses, or did any "naughty" things with a guy....heh...she doesn't know how badly she is Lieing!!!! I mean....wow...I still haven't cought up to the things that her precious daughter did. GRR!!!!!!! *sigh* But I know who I am, God knows who I am and what I and other people do....and that is what matters....so I shall not bother with it...even though they did sort of screw up my entire life for a bit....I forgive them...
Anyway....I went to Wal-Mart afterwards....and got meself a phone with an answering machine...it makes me happy, even though if the couple of calls that I was expecting tonight actually occured, then it didn't do any good....but in the future!!!! I shall recieve messages....and I have caller ID....so I can look and say...."I do not want to talk to that person!!!" and not pick up the phone!!!!! Hehe....'tis the simple things in life...
But alas, I am tired, and I am going to go now so that when I get my wake-up call in the morning I shall not hate life...Much Love to all
De Toi Tousjours,
~DeAnna~
Je dois savoir
que vous serez toujours ici
parce que je ne peux pas
vivre sans vous
6.24.2005
Mood of the Moment: Bored
Music of the Moment: Dashboard Confessionals - Screaming Infidelities
So yea, it has been a few days since I have blogged, and for that i appologize....not that anyboday actualy cares or anything...but oh well. ...oh yea...*takes out pen and writes a reminder to add Jason's website to links list*....hehe, gotta remember that!! I have people from Taiwan reading me blog, wouldn't want to leave anyone out on the action!!! Ah, 'tis the little things in life.
So yea, this week has mostly been boring thus far...so many people have been out of town. Wes, Dustin, Jennifer, Emily, Brian, Nate, Tiffany...I think that is it...but yea, I have gotten 4 phone calls and two emails...A phone call from Brian saying "I'm on top of a mountain!" and two from Dustin saying "I'm staring at the ocean...and it would be great if you could magically decide to come to the beach...and just happen to stop by here...." haha....and an email from Dustin saying pretty much the same thing...and one from Jennifer that says "I'll try to call...you're awesome!"....all of these are summarized of course....but they have all made me feel quite special...muchos gracias to all of you.
Hmmm...let's see, what have I done this week.....I have cleaned out my Grandmother's house, today I scrubbed el bathroom...fun fun...I have DDR-ed to the point that my legs refused to move anymore, then I sat down and played with the controller against my dad. Oh, yea, I have had a Baz-fest....it was great! I had like all the Baz Luhrman anyone can stand within 24 hours. So yea, now I have a billion things running through my head...my Shakespearean speech has sky-rocketed again....but it has decreased some in the last 24 hours...hehe...and I keep randomly bursting into song...*"Why does my heart cry? /Feelings I can't hide/You're free to leave me but/ just don't decieve me.../And please, believe me when I say,/ I love you... "*....*sigh*...I love that movie. *I am fortune's fool!!!*....that is a good one too...OK...To those of you that don't know what the crap I'm talking about, or who Baz Luhrman is...first of all....shame on you....secondly....he is the wonderfully creative and genious director of both Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge....a brilliant mind, with a style all his own....sort of reminds me of a less violent tarentino in the way that things can jump around, and the angles and melodrama....but his stuff always flows much better than nearly any tarentino movie. I also like the themes that he conveys (imagine that, the hopelessly romantic nun-in-training likes that love stories...hehe)...*sigh*, he is but another person I would like to meet some day....but not number one...oh no....The wonderful Tim Burton has that position...hehe...I'm way too into this....
Hehe, that reminds me, some of you might find it amusing that I found out today that Angelina Jolie is a Gemini, just like me...
Hmmm....let's see...I also watched Troy this week....and it was not only sad because of what happened, but because I would randomly think of Brian at points scattered throughout the movie. I'm glad I dont own Fight Club, cuz if I would have watched that I would have burst into tears.I know he probrobly never thinks of me at all, but I miss him. I dont care how upset I am, I have never crossed paths with him and ended up not smiling or laughing at some point. but alas, off of that subject I must get....before sad I make myself...
Speaking of sadness...I dont know why,( I think it may be because I didn't get to go see him on my b-day), but I have ben having random memories of Chris, and even a couple of dreams...it is horribly saddening and kind-of creepy...*sigh*...
Oh yea, and another form of actually more amusing sadness....you know your love life is horrible when your Grandmother tries to hook you up with the Lincare man that delivers her oxygen tanks....she came in and was like "You know, Chris thinks you are awfully sweet and pretty, I told him you were 18, you know he's not that much older than you, and I do believe that he is single"....I was just like "Memaw, I really dont need anything with a y chromosome right now..." and she was all like "but dont you want to have a guy friend?? you know, like most girls your age?" and I was like "sure, memaw, whatever, just, uhhh...let me pick them, ok?" heh, I didn't feel like telling her that I am gonna be a nun...what's the rush, the order into which I am looking doesn't really take anyone under the age of 21, so I still have three years for someone to change my mind....though i doubt they will....
But alas, I am tired, and I still have to do some HTML stuff so that I can add Jason to me links, so I am going to stop typing now...
Much Love,
DeAnna
Forget the times that he walked by,
Forget the times he made you cry,
Forget the times he spoke your name,
Remember now you're not the same,
Forget the times he held your hand,
Forget the sweet things if you can,
Forget those times and don't pretend,
You must remember he's just your friend.
Music of the Moment: Dashboard Confessionals - Screaming Infidelities
So yea, it has been a few days since I have blogged, and for that i appologize....not that anyboday actualy cares or anything...but oh well. ...oh yea...*takes out pen and writes a reminder to add Jason's website to links list*....hehe, gotta remember that!! I have people from Taiwan reading me blog, wouldn't want to leave anyone out on the action!!! Ah, 'tis the little things in life.
So yea, this week has mostly been boring thus far...so many people have been out of town. Wes, Dustin, Jennifer, Emily, Brian, Nate, Tiffany...I think that is it...but yea, I have gotten 4 phone calls and two emails...A phone call from Brian saying "I'm on top of a mountain!" and two from Dustin saying "I'm staring at the ocean...and it would be great if you could magically decide to come to the beach...and just happen to stop by here...." haha....and an email from Dustin saying pretty much the same thing...and one from Jennifer that says "I'll try to call...you're awesome!"....all of these are summarized of course....but they have all made me feel quite special...muchos gracias to all of you.
Hmmm...let's see, what have I done this week.....I have cleaned out my Grandmother's house, today I scrubbed el bathroom...fun fun...I have DDR-ed to the point that my legs refused to move anymore, then I sat down and played with the controller against my dad. Oh, yea, I have had a Baz-fest....it was great! I had like all the Baz Luhrman anyone can stand within 24 hours. So yea, now I have a billion things running through my head...my Shakespearean speech has sky-rocketed again....but it has decreased some in the last 24 hours...hehe...and I keep randomly bursting into song...*"Why does my heart cry? /Feelings I can't hide/You're free to leave me but/ just don't decieve me.../And please, believe me when I say,/ I love you... "*....*sigh*...I love that movie. *I am fortune's fool!!!*....that is a good one too...OK...To those of you that don't know what the crap I'm talking about, or who Baz Luhrman is...first of all....shame on you....secondly....he is the wonderfully creative and genious director of both Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge....a brilliant mind, with a style all his own....sort of reminds me of a less violent tarentino in the way that things can jump around, and the angles and melodrama....but his stuff always flows much better than nearly any tarentino movie. I also like the themes that he conveys (imagine that, the hopelessly romantic nun-in-training likes that love stories...hehe)...*sigh*, he is but another person I would like to meet some day....but not number one...oh no....The wonderful Tim Burton has that position...hehe...I'm way too into this....
Hehe, that reminds me, some of you might find it amusing that I found out today that Angelina Jolie is a Gemini, just like me...
Hmmm....let's see...I also watched Troy this week....and it was not only sad because of what happened, but because I would randomly think of Brian at points scattered throughout the movie. I'm glad I dont own Fight Club, cuz if I would have watched that I would have burst into tears.I know he probrobly never thinks of me at all, but I miss him. I dont care how upset I am, I have never crossed paths with him and ended up not smiling or laughing at some point. but alas, off of that subject I must get....before sad I make myself...
Speaking of sadness...I dont know why,( I think it may be because I didn't get to go see him on my b-day), but I have ben having random memories of Chris, and even a couple of dreams...it is horribly saddening and kind-of creepy...*sigh*...
Oh yea, and another form of actually more amusing sadness....you know your love life is horrible when your Grandmother tries to hook you up with the Lincare man that delivers her oxygen tanks....she came in and was like "You know, Chris thinks you are awfully sweet and pretty, I told him you were 18, you know he's not that much older than you, and I do believe that he is single"....I was just like "Memaw, I really dont need anything with a y chromosome right now..." and she was all like "but dont you want to have a guy friend?? you know, like most girls your age?" and I was like "sure, memaw, whatever, just, uhhh...let me pick them, ok?" heh, I didn't feel like telling her that I am gonna be a nun...what's the rush, the order into which I am looking doesn't really take anyone under the age of 21, so I still have three years for someone to change my mind....though i doubt they will....
But alas, I am tired, and I still have to do some HTML stuff so that I can add Jason to me links, so I am going to stop typing now...
Much Love,
DeAnna
Forget the times that he walked by,
Forget the times he made you cry,
Forget the times he spoke your name,
Remember now you're not the same,
Forget the times he held your hand,
Forget the sweet things if you can,
Forget those times and don't pretend,
You must remember he's just your friend.
6.18.2005
Mood of the Moment: I'm here...
Music of the Moment: None, my aunt is here...
Ok, so just so you know, I have kinda gone link crazy today, so if you look over to the right of this you shall notice like four new links. If you have a site to put there, or if yours is there and you dont ant ir there, let me know, and I shall add/remove it. I just needed to add Emily's and I kinda just dumped my "favorites" list onto my blog. It makes me feel smart when I look at the HTML code and actually understand what it means...hehe...but yea, I actually typed a whole big long post last night, just so that my pc could screw up just before I published it and delete it all! So I will just say this...yesterday I went to seeMr. and Mrs. Smith with Brian, it was awesome(and there was a Flogging Molly song in it, which means that I am now in love with that movie!) After I got out of the movie, I went to Olive Garden to meet PEACE and Sydney for dinner, and then we went to Hot Topic to get into some trouble, because that is what Peace and I are good at! We tried on a bunch of corsets and short skirts, even though we didn't have any money...and we were taking pictures, but some worker told us that we had to delete them because it is apparently illegal to take a picture of something that you haven't bought yet! Oh, and when the lady first opened up the dressing room for us she was like..."uhhh...only one of you can be in there at a time..." and Peace and I were like "oh, darn, guess we have to find somewhere else for our lesbian-love-making session!!" haha, it was lovely, the woman looked at us like we were the biggest wierdos on the planet...and to have an employee of hot topic look at you like that is saying something....I kind of felt bad, because we ended up antagonizing her all night...but oh well! It was muy fun, and I was very happy to see Peace! So afterwards I had to call for a ride, since I still refuse to get into Sydney's car... my dad came and got me and brought me home...and I talked online for a bit, and Jason made me muy happy, and I dont even think he realized it....haha! I got a little upset about something, but it is all good now.
I actually slept pretty much all the way through last night, and that was cool. today I have just sort of been lazy...My parents kind of sprung a belated-family-birthday celebration, and Brian and I are supposed to go see Batman some time today (keywords: supposed to)...which most likely means that he is watching it right now, after forgetting to call me...but oh well....such is the bread of an everyday life ...*smiles* I am off now, to enjoy time with my family...*sigh*...I shall probrobly blog later....
Much Love,
DeAnna
I thought
of you now
in your castle and crown...
Music of the Moment: None, my aunt is here...
Ok, so just so you know, I have kinda gone link crazy today, so if you look over to the right of this you shall notice like four new links. If you have a site to put there, or if yours is there and you dont ant ir there, let me know, and I shall add/remove it. I just needed to add Emily's and I kinda just dumped my "favorites" list onto my blog. It makes me feel smart when I look at the HTML code and actually understand what it means...hehe...but yea, I actually typed a whole big long post last night, just so that my pc could screw up just before I published it and delete it all! So I will just say this...yesterday I went to seeMr. and Mrs. Smith with Brian, it was awesome(and there was a Flogging Molly song in it, which means that I am now in love with that movie!) After I got out of the movie, I went to Olive Garden to meet PEACE and Sydney for dinner, and then we went to Hot Topic to get into some trouble, because that is what Peace and I are good at! We tried on a bunch of corsets and short skirts, even though we didn't have any money...and we were taking pictures, but some worker told us that we had to delete them because it is apparently illegal to take a picture of something that you haven't bought yet! Oh, and when the lady first opened up the dressing room for us she was like..."uhhh...only one of you can be in there at a time..." and Peace and I were like "oh, darn, guess we have to find somewhere else for our lesbian-love-making session!!" haha, it was lovely, the woman looked at us like we were the biggest wierdos on the planet...and to have an employee of hot topic look at you like that is saying something....I kind of felt bad, because we ended up antagonizing her all night...but oh well! It was muy fun, and I was very happy to see Peace! So afterwards I had to call for a ride, since I still refuse to get into Sydney's car... my dad came and got me and brought me home...and I talked online for a bit, and Jason made me muy happy, and I dont even think he realized it....haha! I got a little upset about something, but it is all good now.
I actually slept pretty much all the way through last night, and that was cool. today I have just sort of been lazy...My parents kind of sprung a belated-family-birthday celebration, and Brian and I are supposed to go see Batman some time today (keywords: supposed to)...which most likely means that he is watching it right now, after forgetting to call me...but oh well....such is the bread of an everyday life ...*smiles* I am off now, to enjoy time with my family...*sigh*...I shall probrobly blog later....
Much Love,
DeAnna
I thought
of you now
in your castle and crown...
6.17.2005
Mood of the Moment: Hehe...good...though slightly offended
Music of the Moment: System of a Down - Sugar (I hate you Jason...)
OK, my day: I woke up really late because when I woke up for the first time this morning...I felt like I was dieing, because I couldn't breathe through my nose, and my head and throat hurt...so I just sort of rolled over and went back to sleep, and apparently slept 'til noon! So yea, then I got up and I was somehow feeling better, that was cool. I got online and talked to some of my friends. Sydney came by and dropped off round three of the B-day gifts (a purse, a gift certificate, and a pair of earrings)...and i got kind of sad because the two people that said that they would call me today didn't...but then while I was cleaning the bathroom... at I dont know, like, six-ish...Jennifer called and we went out to K-mart to find her Dad a gift, and we stopped by the diner that Jason works at to eat...bugged him for a bit, had some...cough...interesting conversation...and then she took me home. Once I got home I promptly was invited to go to the new coffee place on 150 with Tiffany and Emily and Ben...so tifany came to pick me up(note previous entry)and we thought that they closed at nine, but in fact it was 8:30, and we got there at like 8:25....but it was cool, they let us stay until like nine, then we loitered outside for a while...and then we were looking for a place to sit (because Tiffany is too pansy to sit on the sidewalk) and we decided to go to emily's....because it was "porch sittin' weather!"...hehe...so we literally sat on her porch until about five until eleven....it was crazy I tell you! hehe...But yea, I came home and checked my email to discover that one of the people I had expected to call had emailed me saying he wasn't gonna be home all day at like 7 this morning...and the other one had apparently called while I was out(prob. to cancel tomorrow)...but that is cool i guess...so I talked to Jason and Peace and Logan and Emily and Jordan for a bit...and then decided to blog...even though Jason had just succeeded in angering me...not really...but still....hehe...and then there was now...and next I am going to bed...goodnight to all, and to all a goodnight...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"I play russian roulette everyday..." - I hate you Jason...hehe
Music of the Moment: System of a Down - Sugar (I hate you Jason...)
OK, my day: I woke up really late because when I woke up for the first time this morning...I felt like I was dieing, because I couldn't breathe through my nose, and my head and throat hurt...so I just sort of rolled over and went back to sleep, and apparently slept 'til noon! So yea, then I got up and I was somehow feeling better, that was cool. I got online and talked to some of my friends. Sydney came by and dropped off round three of the B-day gifts (a purse, a gift certificate, and a pair of earrings)...and i got kind of sad because the two people that said that they would call me today didn't...but then while I was cleaning the bathroom... at I dont know, like, six-ish...Jennifer called and we went out to K-mart to find her Dad a gift, and we stopped by the diner that Jason works at to eat...bugged him for a bit, had some...cough...interesting conversation...and then she took me home. Once I got home I promptly was invited to go to the new coffee place on 150 with Tiffany and Emily and Ben...so tifany came to pick me up(note previous entry)and we thought that they closed at nine, but in fact it was 8:30, and we got there at like 8:25....but it was cool, they let us stay until like nine, then we loitered outside for a while...and then we were looking for a place to sit (because Tiffany is too pansy to sit on the sidewalk) and we decided to go to emily's....because it was "porch sittin' weather!"...hehe...so we literally sat on her porch until about five until eleven....it was crazy I tell you! hehe...But yea, I came home and checked my email to discover that one of the people I had expected to call had emailed me saying he wasn't gonna be home all day at like 7 this morning...and the other one had apparently called while I was out(prob. to cancel tomorrow)...but that is cool i guess...so I talked to Jason and Peace and Logan and Emily and Jordan for a bit...and then decided to blog...even though Jason had just succeeded in angering me...not really...but still....hehe...and then there was now...and next I am going to bed...goodnight to all, and to all a goodnight...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"I play russian roulette everyday..." - I hate you Jason...hehe
6.16.2005
I have no mood or music currently, b/c I am in a hurry, and instead of putting up an away message saying where I am at I am sending people here...
I will blog more later, but currently I just walked in the door form going somewhere with Jennifer and I am about to leave to go chill with Emily and Tiffany...and it was them that started it, not me making them go somewhere with me, which makes me feel special after I felt bad today because certain people that were supposed to call didn't (and I'm sure you both know who you are....*sadness*)....hehe....but it's all good, but I must go now, because Tiffany should be here any minute to pick me up...
Oh, but I did find this a bit ago on a friend's profile, and wanted to share it, I found it amusing...
Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet
And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street...
About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt...
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth...
They marveled for a moment then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scots kilt did lift and show...
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
Oh, lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize...
The Scotsman, Mike Cross
Much Love,
DeAnna
*insert nifty quote/lyric here*
I will blog more later, but currently I just walked in the door form going somewhere with Jennifer and I am about to leave to go chill with Emily and Tiffany...and it was them that started it, not me making them go somewhere with me, which makes me feel special after I felt bad today because certain people that were supposed to call didn't (and I'm sure you both know who you are....*sadness*)....hehe....but it's all good, but I must go now, because Tiffany should be here any minute to pick me up...
Oh, but I did find this a bit ago on a friend's profile, and wanted to share it, I found it amusing...
Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet
And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street...
About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
See yon sleeping Scotsman so strong and handsome built
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt...
They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there behold for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt
Was nothing more than God had graced him with upon his birth...
They marveled for a moment then one said we must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scots kilt did lift and show...
Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush he lift his kilt and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says to what's before his eyes
Oh, lad I don't know where you've been but I see you won first prize...
The Scotsman, Mike Cross
Much Love,
DeAnna
*insert nifty quote/lyric here*
Mood of the Moment: Ouch...
Music of the Moment: Jane Siberry - Calling all Angels
ok, so I realize that I am starting at the end by saying this...but as I was walking aroung wal-mart at like 1am that my feet/legs have decided to remind me that they are not normal. I dont really understand why they chose then, I hadn't really done anything strenuous, I haven't even DDRed today...and it isn't cold...so why is me Fibromialgia acting up now? I dont know. Yea, for those of you that haven't known me for a LONG time...I have something called fibromialgia (dont expect me to spell it right, I just know how to say it)...which basically means that the crapload of nerves in the bottom of my feet, right in the arch, just randomly decides to swell up and hurt, and after a bit it makes all of the nerves connected to them hurt, and so on, until my legs hurt VERY much. It doesn't always happen that way, but yea, it is just odd, and it is one of the reasons I never sleep for long at a time, because that is usually when they hurt...it sucks...but there really no fix for it...so oh well...
Now...on to my birthday...it was a good birthday...I'm tired of people asking me if I feel older...here's your answer: yes, I feel older by a whole day! But yea, let's look at what everyone is probrobly wondering about: Presents. Ok, so, I recieved the following: 3 hand-picked Roses, a nifty etched/painted glass thing, a pair of shoes, a pin, $20 gift certificate to TGI Friday's, a yoda ball thing, the wristband that I wanted from Hot Topic (You break it, You buy it <3),>
As far as my birthday gathering thing...Ok, so, I got there like 10 minutes later than I told other people to...and nobody was there...I was about to flip out because I knew that nobody was coming...then I saw Jeff, and I was like "yay, I get to see Jeff, he came to see me!!" We hung out and talked for a while, then he had to go, so I sat in the lounge part of the restaurant for a bit, completely prepared to be alone for the rest of the night, just like all my other birthdays...and I wrote some stuff in my journal/lyric book/random notepad that I ended up ripping out later...and then I decided that if nobody was gonna come then I was gonna go see if Dru was working...and on my way I found Nick, Jamie, Noelle, and Jennifer and I was like YAY! So I ran up and gave them all a big hug, and like right after that up walks Danny, in his work uniform(he is SO a stripper, haha!) and he greets everyone and then pulls a ticket out of his pocket and says "I do hope you realize that I have a date with Batman at 7 o'clock...so I'm not staying forever..." in that lovely "serious" tone! I let him off the hook...hehe...but yea, we all went in and sat down, and I was informed that 4 more people were coming, so we got a big table...and I had no option as to where i sat, I kinda wanted to sit in the seat that danny had, but everyone was like, you have to sit at this end, so I was like "ok"...and Jennifer kept saying "I will move in a little bit," and Jamie was like "oh no you wont..." it was entertaining to me...and I asked Noelle if Jason was coming, and she was like "no"....but he did come, and I was muy happy! But yea, slowly in came more....Crystal, Brian B., and the Crater Sisters...no tyler...oh well...no torrey...oh well...No Brian *tear* that made me sad at random moments, especially when Jamie got a "Brownie Obsession" and I remembered the "Brownie Obsession Bonding" speech that I got from Brian so long ago...and it was just bad...but I was ok...I was also kind of upset because Crystal and the Brian that was there both seemed kind of glum, and I felt bad for making them come...but ah well...OHHH, OHHHHH, and OH My Gosh....Stupid me decided to go out to eat with a bunch of theatre kids on my birthday....so of course....the most extreme birthday treatment available was requested for me...ohhh....it was bad....there was icecream brought to me, and they had me stand up, and got everyone's attention, and told everyone it was my birthday and had them sing to me...incredibly embarassed I was...but such is life, I would trade the friends I was with for nothing.
Afterwards, I said goodbye to everyone, and we all discovered that the mall has rules...haha, and one of them basically states that Nick, cant talk, because it says no profanity, and that just gets rid of 70% of nicks vocabulary....haha...some of us went to Suncoast (um...the long way...) for various reasons, and by the time we left there, it had dwindled to me, Brian, and Crystal. So we made our way home, and I didn't want to go home, so I ended up going to church for a bit with Brian, then home. Once I got here I talked to Jordan, Brian, Jordan again, Sydney, and Jennifer. Sydney came by and dropped off round 2 of the birthday gifts...I then went to wal-mart where I stayed until about 1.25 and came home, just to get online and talk to Jordan online for a while, and tell Jason thanks for coming, and to blog...and tah-dah! That is the end...hehe...but I am finally tired now, and therefore I am off to bed....goodnight to all!
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
...
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8 &13
Music of the Moment: Jane Siberry - Calling all Angels
ok, so I realize that I am starting at the end by saying this...but as I was walking aroung wal-mart at like 1am that my feet/legs have decided to remind me that they are not normal. I dont really understand why they chose then, I hadn't really done anything strenuous, I haven't even DDRed today...and it isn't cold...so why is me Fibromialgia acting up now? I dont know. Yea, for those of you that haven't known me for a LONG time...I have something called fibromialgia (dont expect me to spell it right, I just know how to say it)...which basically means that the crapload of nerves in the bottom of my feet, right in the arch, just randomly decides to swell up and hurt, and after a bit it makes all of the nerves connected to them hurt, and so on, until my legs hurt VERY much. It doesn't always happen that way, but yea, it is just odd, and it is one of the reasons I never sleep for long at a time, because that is usually when they hurt...it sucks...but there really no fix for it...so oh well...
Now...on to my birthday...it was a good birthday...I'm tired of people asking me if I feel older...here's your answer: yes, I feel older by a whole day! But yea, let's look at what everyone is probrobly wondering about: Presents. Ok, so, I recieved the following: 3 hand-picked Roses, a nifty etched/painted glass thing, a pair of shoes, a pin, $20 gift certificate to TGI Friday's, a yoda ball thing, the wristband that I wanted from Hot Topic (You break it, You buy it <3),>
As far as my birthday gathering thing...Ok, so, I got there like 10 minutes later than I told other people to...and nobody was there...I was about to flip out because I knew that nobody was coming...then I saw Jeff, and I was like "yay, I get to see Jeff, he came to see me!!" We hung out and talked for a while, then he had to go, so I sat in the lounge part of the restaurant for a bit, completely prepared to be alone for the rest of the night, just like all my other birthdays...and I wrote some stuff in my journal/lyric book/random notepad that I ended up ripping out later...and then I decided that if nobody was gonna come then I was gonna go see if Dru was working...and on my way I found Nick, Jamie, Noelle, and Jennifer and I was like YAY! So I ran up and gave them all a big hug, and like right after that up walks Danny, in his work uniform(he is SO a stripper, haha!) and he greets everyone and then pulls a ticket out of his pocket and says "I do hope you realize that I have a date with Batman at 7 o'clock...so I'm not staying forever..." in that lovely "serious" tone! I let him off the hook...hehe...but yea, we all went in and sat down, and I was informed that 4 more people were coming, so we got a big table...and I had no option as to where i sat, I kinda wanted to sit in the seat that danny had, but everyone was like, you have to sit at this end, so I was like "ok"...and Jennifer kept saying "I will move in a little bit," and Jamie was like "oh no you wont..." it was entertaining to me...and I asked Noelle if Jason was coming, and she was like "no"....but he did come, and I was muy happy! But yea, slowly in came more....Crystal, Brian B., and the Crater Sisters...no tyler...oh well...no torrey...oh well...No Brian *tear* that made me sad at random moments, especially when Jamie got a "Brownie Obsession" and I remembered the "Brownie Obsession Bonding" speech that I got from Brian so long ago...and it was just bad...but I was ok...I was also kind of upset because Crystal and the Brian that was there both seemed kind of glum, and I felt bad for making them come...but ah well...OHHH, OHHHHH, and OH My Gosh....Stupid me decided to go out to eat with a bunch of theatre kids on my birthday....so of course....the most extreme birthday treatment available was requested for me...ohhh....it was bad....there was icecream brought to me, and they had me stand up, and got everyone's attention, and told everyone it was my birthday and had them sing to me...incredibly embarassed I was...but such is life, I would trade the friends I was with for nothing.
Afterwards, I said goodbye to everyone, and we all discovered that the mall has rules...haha, and one of them basically states that Nick, cant talk, because it says no profanity, and that just gets rid of 70% of nicks vocabulary....haha...some of us went to Suncoast (um...the long way...) for various reasons, and by the time we left there, it had dwindled to me, Brian, and Crystal. So we made our way home, and I didn't want to go home, so I ended up going to church for a bit with Brian, then home. Once I got here I talked to Jordan, Brian, Jordan again, Sydney, and Jennifer. Sydney came by and dropped off round 2 of the birthday gifts...I then went to wal-mart where I stayed until about 1.25 and came home, just to get online and talk to Jordan online for a while, and tell Jason thanks for coming, and to blog...and tah-dah! That is the end...hehe...but I am finally tired now, and therefore I am off to bed....goodnight to all!
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
...
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8 &13
6.14.2005
Mood of the Moment: Bleh
Music of the Moment: Mudvayne - Happy?
Today was a day...today was the day...that I gave up...on being a child...
Today was the day that I realized...that if someone affects you more than you affect them...then they affect you too much...
Today is the day...
I am a nun...
Tomorrow is a new day...
but does it bring any change...
there is only one way to find out...
I shall go on...
and I shall try...
to live each day...
like it was my last...
but I tell you now...
if today was my last day...
then it would be...
the worst cliffhanger ending...
ever written.
-Last thoughts of a child
Much Love,
DeAnna
In the end,
only kindness matters...
I will get down
on my knees
and I will pray...
and I will pray
Music of the Moment: Mudvayne - Happy?
Today was a day...today was the day...that I gave up...on being a child...
Today was the day that I realized...that if someone affects you more than you affect them...then they affect you too much...
Today is the day...
I am a nun...
Tomorrow is a new day...
but does it bring any change...
there is only one way to find out...
I shall go on...
and I shall try...
to live each day...
like it was my last...
but I tell you now...
if today was my last day...
then it would be...
the worst cliffhanger ending...
ever written.
-Last thoughts of a child
Much Love,
DeAnna
In the end,
only kindness matters...
I will get down
on my knees
and I will pray...
and I will pray
Mood of the Moment: "present"
Music of the Moment: Jewel
Ok, so for those of you that dont get the whole "present" thing, it comes from some time in theatre when everyone was saying present during roll call and I was just like "you know, everyone says that they are here, but are they really fully here, or is their mind really elsewhere...." basically, it just means bleh...just so that we are all on the same page....or...at least in the same chapter...hehe
so today I got the joy of helping my grandmother clean her house...if you have seen her house, you understand the fun in this...it took us over 4 hours just to do a bloody closet....and I get to go back on wed. (aka my birthday) to help her continue cleaning...grrr
I came home only to be disappointed....and stuff happened (or rather didn't happen) that got me into a very thoughtful mood. Le sigh, it shall be ok...it was just sort of a depressing night, and a friend of mine was saying that I am not listening to my heart about something, but at the same time I kind of am...but yea....that is for a different journal...
On the bright side, Jordan has a gig in Winston on me birthday, and he told me today that he would come and get me if I wanted him to, since I haven't seen him in forever...and I could go watch the show (for free, of course), and then chill out and meet the dudes in the other band afterwards(and generally there is some sort of after event, depending on when it ends...) but the only problem is that it is on my birthday, and it is at night, and I have already made plans, and they are with a bunch of people and I cant cancel....so I was like "call me"...and we were talking on the phone for a bit and he was like "Dude, ok, here is the deal....I am gonna try to get off work in time to swing by and see you before I go to the show...but I dont know, cuz I dont want to just pop up and be like 'sup....gotta go!' you know?" so he is gonna call me after he gets off of work (looks at clock) tomorrow and go from there...I miss the jordan...seen him I have not in a long time...ahhh well....there are pictures of him posted all over the internet, so I know how he looks! hehe...
Also, after much research I have come to a quandry...Shall it be the NC Sisters of Mercy, or shall I go for the stricter route of the Society of the Sacred Heart...that is the question...neither of them wear a habit, so that is cool, but I seriously think that I like the Sisters of Mercy, just because they are more modern....and allow many occupations (including that of a theatre teacher!)....plus they are more local, even though it is an international order (which started in Ireland!)Plus there is a lot of the "helping the helpless" going on...and I like that....but alas...it is still quite a bit of time before I need to worry about it...I think I am atleast going to give it until I am out of college for like 2 years....just in case...but yea....
I am quite tired now...and I would like to go to sleep so that I may dream....(there you go jennifer...that one was for you...)haha....hehe...goodnight to all...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"I'm sorry
I can't be
perfect..."
Music of the Moment: Jewel
Ok, so for those of you that dont get the whole "present" thing, it comes from some time in theatre when everyone was saying present during roll call and I was just like "you know, everyone says that they are here, but are they really fully here, or is their mind really elsewhere...." basically, it just means bleh...just so that we are all on the same page....or...at least in the same chapter...hehe
so today I got the joy of helping my grandmother clean her house...if you have seen her house, you understand the fun in this...it took us over 4 hours just to do a bloody closet....and I get to go back on wed. (aka my birthday) to help her continue cleaning...grrr
I came home only to be disappointed....and stuff happened (or rather didn't happen) that got me into a very thoughtful mood. Le sigh, it shall be ok...it was just sort of a depressing night, and a friend of mine was saying that I am not listening to my heart about something, but at the same time I kind of am...but yea....that is for a different journal...
On the bright side, Jordan has a gig in Winston on me birthday, and he told me today that he would come and get me if I wanted him to, since I haven't seen him in forever...and I could go watch the show (for free, of course), and then chill out and meet the dudes in the other band afterwards(and generally there is some sort of after event, depending on when it ends...) but the only problem is that it is on my birthday, and it is at night, and I have already made plans, and they are with a bunch of people and I cant cancel....so I was like "call me"...and we were talking on the phone for a bit and he was like "Dude, ok, here is the deal....I am gonna try to get off work in time to swing by and see you before I go to the show...but I dont know, cuz I dont want to just pop up and be like 'sup....gotta go!' you know?" so he is gonna call me after he gets off of work (looks at clock) tomorrow and go from there...I miss the jordan...seen him I have not in a long time...ahhh well....there are pictures of him posted all over the internet, so I know how he looks! hehe...
Also, after much research I have come to a quandry...Shall it be the NC Sisters of Mercy, or shall I go for the stricter route of the Society of the Sacred Heart...that is the question...neither of them wear a habit, so that is cool, but I seriously think that I like the Sisters of Mercy, just because they are more modern....and allow many occupations (including that of a theatre teacher!)....plus they are more local, even though it is an international order (which started in Ireland!)Plus there is a lot of the "helping the helpless" going on...and I like that....but alas...it is still quite a bit of time before I need to worry about it...I think I am atleast going to give it until I am out of college for like 2 years....just in case...but yea....
I am quite tired now...and I would like to go to sleep so that I may dream....(there you go jennifer...that one was for you...)haha....hehe...goodnight to all...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"I'm sorry
I can't be
perfect..."
6.13.2005
Mood of the Moment: Quite tired...
Music of the Moment: Foo Fighters - Best of You
Ok so, first off I would like to give a big thanks to dear Crystal...I have friends that have been reading my blog since I first started it and have never commented....muchos gracias!!!
Next I would like to say that today has been an interesting day...but fun!!! Well, most of it....
I woke up this morning and went to Church with Jennifer...quite interesting it was...I met some of the people she talks about so now I have faces to put with the names! Everyone was really nice, but I was still all nervous, and apparently I was all red and it was wierd! Oh, and there was a little girl that was just so cute!! and I was talking about how I would love to have kids one day, but then I was like "but I can't, because I'm gonna be a nun!" so Jennifer and I got into an argument right in the middle of the church service and I kinda felt bad because apparently a lot of people noticed us talking...then the preacher kept being all like "find someone around you and tell them you love them!" and I was all like "I love you Jennifer!!!"...it was an interesting time! The message was on love...and part of it was the classic "love thy neighbor as thyself" thing, which I pretty much have down...I'm sure that there are MANY people that can attest to the fact that if nothing else I am the loving-and-therefore-forgiving type!!!(at least I hope so, if not please tell me!!!) and then during one part he was talking like the husband/wife type of love and how it can do anything...and then he went on to be like "I am just sensing that there is someone here that has a broken heart and needs praying for....we all have had broken hearts before...." yada yada yada....and Jennifer kept looking at me and was like "he's preaching to you DeAnna..." but in all actuality, the chances are that I was not the only one. In a room with that many people the chances of having several currently-broken-hearted people in there are high....so yea....HA!!! Afterwards we went to eat at the China Buffet...muy good it was....except for the fact that I got the crappiest fortune ever...but it is ok...because I stole another one, that wasn't much better, but still...then Jennifer and I went to see...*hesitates to say...* The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3D...yea...it was very much Jennifer's choice...and as we were going into the theatre we were passing by the Mr. and Mrs. Smith theatre...and I was thinking...."I can just walk in there! I dont need a ticket...I work here...I don't HAVE to go se the bloody kids movie..." but then I remembered that I had promised Jennifer that I would go see it with her, and there is someone specific that I want to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith with so...I went to see the kids movie...hmm...on the brightside, there was an interesting concept behind the movie and some of the melodrama can be explained away by the fact that it was a Robert Rodriguez film...respect Rodriguez I do...but going downhill I think his career is...but ah well...It was somewhat interesting because I have never seen a 3D movie before, so whatever...
After the movie I had to go to the laundromat to help the parental units with clothing...grr...but Jennifer and I went to DQ first and I got a moolatte, which I haven't had in a while, so that was cool. Then I got the joy of doing laundry until after nine, then I came home and watched a movie and baked a cake. I dont think it was the best cake I've ever made...but it is edible...the movie was a love story, and they are nice...but at times it's just sort of a "look at what you can never have" sort of thing...which can get me really sad, but tonight it wasn't that bad, so that is cool....
Alas, I am afraid that I must get up early to go up to the school for some stuff tomorrow...so I must go and get some rest...good night to all!!!
Much Love (really...)
DeAnna
It's always times like these
When I think of you,
And wonder if you ever think of me.
'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Livin' in your precious memory.
'Cause I need you,
And I miss you...
Music of the Moment: Foo Fighters - Best of You
Ok so, first off I would like to give a big thanks to dear Crystal...I have friends that have been reading my blog since I first started it and have never commented....muchos gracias!!!
Next I would like to say that today has been an interesting day...but fun!!! Well, most of it....
I woke up this morning and went to Church with Jennifer...quite interesting it was...I met some of the people she talks about so now I have faces to put with the names! Everyone was really nice, but I was still all nervous, and apparently I was all red and it was wierd! Oh, and there was a little girl that was just so cute!! and I was talking about how I would love to have kids one day, but then I was like "but I can't, because I'm gonna be a nun!" so Jennifer and I got into an argument right in the middle of the church service and I kinda felt bad because apparently a lot of people noticed us talking...then the preacher kept being all like "find someone around you and tell them you love them!" and I was all like "I love you Jennifer!!!"...it was an interesting time! The message was on love...and part of it was the classic "love thy neighbor as thyself" thing, which I pretty much have down...I'm sure that there are MANY people that can attest to the fact that if nothing else I am the loving-and-therefore-forgiving type!!!(at least I hope so, if not please tell me!!!) and then during one part he was talking like the husband/wife type of love and how it can do anything...and then he went on to be like "I am just sensing that there is someone here that has a broken heart and needs praying for....we all have had broken hearts before...." yada yada yada....and Jennifer kept looking at me and was like "he's preaching to you DeAnna..." but in all actuality, the chances are that I was not the only one. In a room with that many people the chances of having several currently-broken-hearted people in there are high....so yea....HA!!! Afterwards we went to eat at the China Buffet...muy good it was....except for the fact that I got the crappiest fortune ever...but it is ok...because I stole another one, that wasn't much better, but still...then Jennifer and I went to see...*hesitates to say...* The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3D...yea...it was very much Jennifer's choice...and as we were going into the theatre we were passing by the Mr. and Mrs. Smith theatre...and I was thinking...."I can just walk in there! I dont need a ticket...I work here...I don't HAVE to go se the bloody kids movie..." but then I remembered that I had promised Jennifer that I would go see it with her, and there is someone specific that I want to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith with so...I went to see the kids movie...hmm...on the brightside, there was an interesting concept behind the movie and some of the melodrama can be explained away by the fact that it was a Robert Rodriguez film...respect Rodriguez I do...but going downhill I think his career is...but ah well...It was somewhat interesting because I have never seen a 3D movie before, so whatever...
After the movie I had to go to the laundromat to help the parental units with clothing...grr...but Jennifer and I went to DQ first and I got a moolatte, which I haven't had in a while, so that was cool. Then I got the joy of doing laundry until after nine, then I came home and watched a movie and baked a cake. I dont think it was the best cake I've ever made...but it is edible...the movie was a love story, and they are nice...but at times it's just sort of a "look at what you can never have" sort of thing...which can get me really sad, but tonight it wasn't that bad, so that is cool....
Alas, I am afraid that I must get up early to go up to the school for some stuff tomorrow...so I must go and get some rest...good night to all!!!
Much Love (really...)
DeAnna
It's always times like these
When I think of you,
And wonder if you ever think of me.
'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Livin' in your precious memory.
'Cause I need you,
And I miss you...
6.11.2005
Mood of the Moment: happier than last night...
Music of the moment: Deathcab - Lack of color
Hehe, I just found it very amusing that when I checked my email today I found thatI had had a comment posted on my blog from someone I didn't know...so thank you kind Mr. Murillo for posting on my blog, I was much pleased!!! hehe...
As far as today...I haven't really done much, but play some DDR and call my Cousin to tell him happy Birthday. I never really get him anything for his birthday, and I dont get Shal (my other cousin who's birthday is 4 days after mine) anything either. It is kind of a seal we have silently worked out, they dont get me anything, I dont get them anything, and it just works out because our Birthdays are so close...it's like our birthday gift to one another is the fact that they dont have to get me anything...you know...but yea....
So yea, other than that there is nothing interesting to tell...I am about to go swimming...I am very nervous because I am going to be wearing a two piece bathing suit...which I dont do....and it isn't even one of those cheating ones...like a tanktini...no, it is that show-all-of-the-large-amount-of-stomach-that-you've-got sort of bathingsuits....grr....but oh well, it isn't like I know anyone there...but yea, if anyhting interesting happens today then I shall post it later...but for now I'm gone,
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Sooner or later all the throngs of feelings
we used to appreciate
will come rushing back
When you wake you will see
Don't wake me as you leave
Don't make me
believe I have a chance in h-ll..."
Music of the moment: Deathcab - Lack of color
Hehe, I just found it very amusing that when I checked my email today I found thatI had had a comment posted on my blog from someone I didn't know...so thank you kind Mr. Murillo for posting on my blog, I was much pleased!!! hehe...
As far as today...I haven't really done much, but play some DDR and call my Cousin to tell him happy Birthday. I never really get him anything for his birthday, and I dont get Shal (my other cousin who's birthday is 4 days after mine) anything either. It is kind of a seal we have silently worked out, they dont get me anything, I dont get them anything, and it just works out because our Birthdays are so close...it's like our birthday gift to one another is the fact that they dont have to get me anything...you know...but yea....
So yea, other than that there is nothing interesting to tell...I am about to go swimming...I am very nervous because I am going to be wearing a two piece bathing suit...which I dont do....and it isn't even one of those cheating ones...like a tanktini...no, it is that show-all-of-the-large-amount-of-stomach-that-you've-got sort of bathingsuits....grr....but oh well, it isn't like I know anyone there...but yea, if anyhting interesting happens today then I shall post it later...but for now I'm gone,
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Sooner or later all the throngs of feelings
we used to appreciate
will come rushing back
When you wake you will see
Don't wake me as you leave
Don't make me
believe I have a chance in h-ll..."
mood of the moment: aggrivated
Music of the moment: Sarah M...uhhh...dont feel like spelling it...
Ok so i am fairly convinced that nobody really wants to come to my b-day gathering thing. I am very saddened by this...and I fear that it shall turn out like all of my other birthday parties...only this time i was all like...hey, it isn't a party, it is just a bunch of people going out to eat...everyone likes to go out to eat...but people keep dropping out and I fear that I will end up sitting there with one or two people just like usual...and they will have a terrible time because they came just to see the other people that were gonna be there...and I'm gonna feel like crap for even ever asking anyone to come and I swear that if that happens this year then I will not have anything for my birthday next year...*takes breath*...I've given it 18 tries and still I cant get the attendance to my birthdays to break into double digits...I will just give up.
On top of that is the fact that two of the main people that I want to see on my birthday are not getting along at the moment and I fear that if they both come then they will both be miserable. I love them both incredibly much, and if they are miserable then I shall be too. Then there is another pair of friends that are not really getting along either...but I think I can deal witht he two of them being there and I really appologize if this is a really big run-on sentence and if there are typos because I really am just rambling because I am really upset and dont care if I have typos...
Oh, and we shall not mention the fact that one of the aforementioned friends was kinda talking to me tonight and I found out that he was upset, but he wouldn't tell me what about because apparently I go and tell things that people tell me. That is really beautiful. If I say I am not goiing to tell someone then I am not going to tell someone....but then again that is probrobly a big lie because I am a big liar, just ask my parents if you dont believe me....which you shouldn't believe me, because all I know how to do is lie...and I am nieve, and basically just an idiot that doesn't know anything about the real world...
Music of the moment: Sarah M...uhhh...dont feel like spelling it...
Ok so i am fairly convinced that nobody really wants to come to my b-day gathering thing. I am very saddened by this...and I fear that it shall turn out like all of my other birthday parties...only this time i was all like...hey, it isn't a party, it is just a bunch of people going out to eat...everyone likes to go out to eat...but people keep dropping out and I fear that I will end up sitting there with one or two people just like usual...and they will have a terrible time because they came just to see the other people that were gonna be there...and I'm gonna feel like crap for even ever asking anyone to come and I swear that if that happens this year then I will not have anything for my birthday next year...*takes breath*...I've given it 18 tries and still I cant get the attendance to my birthdays to break into double digits...I will just give up.
On top of that is the fact that two of the main people that I want to see on my birthday are not getting along at the moment and I fear that if they both come then they will both be miserable. I love them both incredibly much, and if they are miserable then I shall be too. Then there is another pair of friends that are not really getting along either...but I think I can deal witht he two of them being there and I really appologize if this is a really big run-on sentence and if there are typos because I really am just rambling because I am really upset and dont care if I have typos...
Oh, and we shall not mention the fact that one of the aforementioned friends was kinda talking to me tonight and I found out that he was upset, but he wouldn't tell me what about because apparently I go and tell things that people tell me. That is really beautiful. If I say I am not goiing to tell someone then I am not going to tell someone....but then again that is probrobly a big lie because I am a big liar, just ask my parents if you dont believe me....which you shouldn't believe me, because all I know how to do is lie...and I am nieve, and basically just an idiot that doesn't know anything about the real world...
While I'm at it, let me go ahead and mention the fact that whe the guy that you have liked for bloody ever asks you "hey, so, who do you like?" it is a very odd and hard predicament...so all you can say is "I dont know..."....and then you wonder later if you should have just said what you wanted to and gotten the damage over and done with...but whatever...I know how it shall end up...I shall be a nun...
What did you mean when you said I love you?
On the brightside, Brennan is comming home on the 24 of July, and is staying for 3 days, so you may not hear from me much during that time period.
ok, I am calmer now, and I am tired, but my dad told me to "see him" before I went to bed, so a lecture may be headed my way...but yea, goodnight to all...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Which of the bold faced lies will we use?"
6.09.2005
Mood of the Moment: kind of disappointed
Music of the Moment: Lifehouse - You and Me
So...I have pretty much been bored all day. I talked to a couple of peopleon the phone...a few people online...then I had to go to physical therapy...grr...afterwards I went to the mall and went to sheetz and Hot Topic...I got an early B-day present...An Edward Scissorhands T-shirt. It makes me very happy....While I was there I saw a wristband that had a picture of a heart on it and said "if you break it, you buy it"...'twas so beautiful...and it made me think of one person in particular...but I didn't get it. I picked it up...and carried it around for a bit...but had to choose between that and the shirt...and I chose the shirt...I really do love what it was saying though...it works so beautifully...but oh well...
Why am I actually expecting a call?
ah well...I must go now...
goodnight...
Much Love,
DeAnna
I love you
It was the one thing
I always wanted
you to say
I love you
those words I prayed for
Everyday
I love you
just three words
stole my hope away
on that fateful day
you said I love you...
to her...
Music of the Moment: Lifehouse - You and Me
So...I have pretty much been bored all day. I talked to a couple of peopleon the phone...a few people online...then I had to go to physical therapy...grr...afterwards I went to the mall and went to sheetz and Hot Topic...I got an early B-day present...An Edward Scissorhands T-shirt. It makes me very happy....While I was there I saw a wristband that had a picture of a heart on it and said "if you break it, you buy it"...'twas so beautiful...and it made me think of one person in particular...but I didn't get it. I picked it up...and carried it around for a bit...but had to choose between that and the shirt...and I chose the shirt...I really do love what it was saying though...it works so beautifully...but oh well...
Why am I actually expecting a call?
ah well...I must go now...
goodnight...
Much Love,
DeAnna
I love you
It was the one thing
I always wanted
you to say
I love you
those words I prayed for
Everyday
I love you
just three words
stole my hope away
on that fateful day
you said I love you...
to her...
6.08.2005
Mood of the Moment: "All the boys in every girlie magazine can't make me feel any less alone..."
Music of the Moment: A couple of Dash songs that have importance to me...
Ok, so, today...pretty much I have been bored. I do know this much though...I miss sleep...I don't remember the exact day that we went our seperate ways...but somewhere along the line sleep and I kinda lost touch. this whole not getting to sleep until four, and waking up before eight thing isn't working for me. I mean, it is ok once or twice....or if I have a reason to stay up late and get up early...but i don't ...I mean...nobody that I know cares to do anything that late at night...and most of my friends sleep until like noon, at least...the only people that dont would never think to call me and do anything in the mornings, so I really have no reason why I shouldn't get at least a good 6 hours of sleep...possibly even the recommended 8...but no! It is like my eyelids refuse to stay closed for more than 2-3 hours at a time...confound it! But ah well...
ok, so today I woke up to my sister puking...that was lovely. Then I went with my grandmother to get her haircut and get her medicines. Oh, for my grandmother it was like "embarass DeAnna day" today...She was talking to her hairstylist, and was talking about my brother playing on the big keyboard I have, and how I used to play on it when I was younger, and I interjected with the fact that I was never good at it....in fact I sucked...because I suck at anything musical...and my grandmother was like "weren't you taking guitar lessons? How did you do at that?" and I was like "I tried a couple of different people teaching me, but my fingers hate me and rebel..." and my Grandmother was like "what was that boys name that was teaching you?" and I was like "Mark?" and she was like, "no the other one"..."Brian?"...and she was like "yea...that is it..." and I was cool with this...and then the lady was like "Brian Beck?".....crap...so I was just like "yea"...and she proceededto be all like "yea, I know him..." yada yada...she apparently wants to hear him play bagpipes...and I just used the oppurtunity to show off my necklace...My grandmother has a tendency to run her mouth a lot though...and I am positive that my face was quite red by the time I left...grr...
So yea, then we went to get her medicines...and then I came home and ended up going out with Jennifer to Wal-Mart, the mall, and Barnes & Nobles...muy fun it was...I bought a shirt that says "everybody loves Irish girls" hehe me gusta...oh, and Jennifer got this shirt that I absolutely love, but I just am NOT brave enough to wear it...b/c I know that I could never pull it off...le sigh...love to be skinny I would...but I am not, so deal with it I shall.
On my way home i realized that the Paragon road sign is down...oh my cow I wanted it! I dont know why I have this odd fascination for that sign...and I've always been like, if I was to steal a sign, then it would most likely be that one...and we drove past it...and it was down!!!Jennifer offered to go back and get it...but I was like...nah....I may just have to give either Jason A. or Dustin a call tomorrow though, since both of them have trucks...hehe...
Yesterday I did not blog simply because I was tired of writing, for my other journal got like four pages front and back yesterday,plus I didn't have much time because I spent most of the day either with Kody or at my grandmother's house helping MeMaw and PawPaw...I love Kody...he is the biggest doll baby ever! Hehe...I walk in the door and he is all like "Mommy!!!" and wants me to hold him or play with some new toy, or read him a book...like today I went over there to give Corol her medicines...because I picked them up for her when we were out...and Tiffany was dropping off Kody...but he didn't want to get down and play, and he didn't want carol to hold him, and he's try to hit her if she got near him...it was quite obvious that he was quite tired. So I walked in ane he was smiling and waving at me and tiffany asked if he wanted me to hold him...and then she could go and I could stay with him and he was like "uhhh huh!"...So I took him and we rocked back and forth a bit, and I started to sing the mockingbird song to him and pat him on the back...and I got him to go to sleep, because he wouldn't let me sit him down otherwise...hehe...he is my sweetheart....although I dont think tiffany likes the idea of him calling me mommy....I have tried to get him not to...and he is getting better about trying to call me by my actual name....but most of the time it is still mommy....though it is quite flattering... hehe..children are so fun and adorable...if i get this attached to those that aren't even related...I can just imagine what it would be like to have my own...provided I ever get the chance...which I doubt. Ah well...
My Dad is starting his like 6th lecture of the night right now...which means that I am about to get off now....and go to bed....because I am tired...because I have had no sleep...but hopefully tonight will be different....or at least I can hope...goodnight...
Much Love,
DeAnna
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight...
Music of the Moment: A couple of Dash songs that have importance to me...
Ok, so, today...pretty much I have been bored. I do know this much though...I miss sleep...I don't remember the exact day that we went our seperate ways...but somewhere along the line sleep and I kinda lost touch. this whole not getting to sleep until four, and waking up before eight thing isn't working for me. I mean, it is ok once or twice....or if I have a reason to stay up late and get up early...but i don't ...I mean...nobody that I know cares to do anything that late at night...and most of my friends sleep until like noon, at least...the only people that dont would never think to call me and do anything in the mornings, so I really have no reason why I shouldn't get at least a good 6 hours of sleep...possibly even the recommended 8...but no! It is like my eyelids refuse to stay closed for more than 2-3 hours at a time...confound it! But ah well...
ok, so today I woke up to my sister puking...that was lovely. Then I went with my grandmother to get her haircut and get her medicines. Oh, for my grandmother it was like "embarass DeAnna day" today...She was talking to her hairstylist, and was talking about my brother playing on the big keyboard I have, and how I used to play on it when I was younger, and I interjected with the fact that I was never good at it....in fact I sucked...because I suck at anything musical...and my grandmother was like "weren't you taking guitar lessons? How did you do at that?" and I was like "I tried a couple of different people teaching me, but my fingers hate me and rebel..." and my Grandmother was like "what was that boys name that was teaching you?" and I was like "Mark?" and she was like, "no the other one"..."Brian?"...and she was like "yea...that is it..." and I was cool with this...and then the lady was like "Brian Beck?".....crap...so I was just like "yea"...and she proceededto be all like "yea, I know him..." yada yada...she apparently wants to hear him play bagpipes...and I just used the oppurtunity to show off my necklace...My grandmother has a tendency to run her mouth a lot though...and I am positive that my face was quite red by the time I left...grr...
So yea, then we went to get her medicines...and then I came home and ended up going out with Jennifer to Wal-Mart, the mall, and Barnes & Nobles...muy fun it was...I bought a shirt that says "everybody loves Irish girls" hehe me gusta...oh, and Jennifer got this shirt that I absolutely love, but I just am NOT brave enough to wear it...b/c I know that I could never pull it off...le sigh...love to be skinny I would...but I am not, so deal with it I shall.
On my way home i realized that the Paragon road sign is down...oh my cow I wanted it! I dont know why I have this odd fascination for that sign...and I've always been like, if I was to steal a sign, then it would most likely be that one...and we drove past it...and it was down!!!Jennifer offered to go back and get it...but I was like...nah....I may just have to give either Jason A. or Dustin a call tomorrow though, since both of them have trucks...hehe...
Yesterday I did not blog simply because I was tired of writing, for my other journal got like four pages front and back yesterday,plus I didn't have much time because I spent most of the day either with Kody or at my grandmother's house helping MeMaw and PawPaw...I love Kody...he is the biggest doll baby ever! Hehe...I walk in the door and he is all like "Mommy!!!" and wants me to hold him or play with some new toy, or read him a book...like today I went over there to give Corol her medicines...because I picked them up for her when we were out...and Tiffany was dropping off Kody...but he didn't want to get down and play, and he didn't want carol to hold him, and he's try to hit her if she got near him...it was quite obvious that he was quite tired. So I walked in ane he was smiling and waving at me and tiffany asked if he wanted me to hold him...and then she could go and I could stay with him and he was like "uhhh huh!"...So I took him and we rocked back and forth a bit, and I started to sing the mockingbird song to him and pat him on the back...and I got him to go to sleep, because he wouldn't let me sit him down otherwise...hehe...he is my sweetheart....although I dont think tiffany likes the idea of him calling me mommy....I have tried to get him not to...and he is getting better about trying to call me by my actual name....but most of the time it is still mommy....though it is quite flattering... hehe..children are so fun and adorable...if i get this attached to those that aren't even related...I can just imagine what it would be like to have my own...provided I ever get the chance...which I doubt. Ah well...
My Dad is starting his like 6th lecture of the night right now...which means that I am about to get off now....and go to bed....because I am tired...because I have had no sleep...but hopefully tonight will be different....or at least I can hope...goodnight...
Much Love,
DeAnna
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight...
6.06.2005
Mood of the Moment: I dont know, but Emily is my hero
Music of the Moment: Anna Nalick - Breathe (2am)
I have had an interesting day. hmmm...I had about 4 hours of sleep last night...and yet somehow I am not tired...ah yes, I know now, it because I took like all of a 15 min. nap today...After I went to subway to get me something to comer...My dad sort of tricked me into going shopping with him...at the grocery store, but it was ok, because i had to use the bathroom, and on my way out I heard "DEANNA!"...and bang! there is Tyler...Woo Hoo, I was quite happy. Got to see him for a bit...my dad shopped forever...then when I got in the van to go...I saw "Jon Jew"...haha, it was like the reunion of the theatre people...only there were only three of us...but still...
Speaking of theatre reunions...I heard that recently there was a theatre outing that I was not informed of...all goes to prove my point...forgetable I am...
so yea, after my nap-esque thing I went over and hung out at Brian's for a while...ate chinese food...got two new fortunes! Mrs. Beck was nice enough to cover what was left for me to take hoome with me, but I forgot it, of course! hehe, 'tis alright.
I came home, and got online to see if I could find someone in particualar...but yea...not online...grr...oh well...I still had some quite interesting conversations with a couple of people, my friend Emily in particular...she very much made me quite happy, and helped take my mind off of some stuff...but yea, I told her that her words were blogworthy...so here are some exerpts...
...
emonee87: girls tear themselves up about other people
emonee87: and guys just tear themselves up about themselves
AlwAysDreAmA: OMG....
AlwAysDreAmA: THAT'S IT!!!!
AlwAysDreAmA: Emily...you are a genious!
AlwAysDreAmA: you are going on my blog...
emonee87: yes!
emonee87: my goal in life!
Hehe...so yea, that is pretty much all I feel like putting...but yea, I have to get up early in the morning so that I can go up to the school for some stuff...le sigh....goodnight...
Much Love,
DeAnna
It hurts my heart so bad
Seeing you sigh and shake
Broken down so low - so sad
I can’t let you break
Music of the Moment: Anna Nalick - Breathe (2am)
I have had an interesting day. hmmm...I had about 4 hours of sleep last night...and yet somehow I am not tired...ah yes, I know now, it because I took like all of a 15 min. nap today...After I went to subway to get me something to comer...My dad sort of tricked me into going shopping with him...at the grocery store, but it was ok, because i had to use the bathroom, and on my way out I heard "DEANNA!"...and bang! there is Tyler...Woo Hoo, I was quite happy. Got to see him for a bit...my dad shopped forever...then when I got in the van to go...I saw "Jon Jew"...haha, it was like the reunion of the theatre people...only there were only three of us...but still...
Speaking of theatre reunions...I heard that recently there was a theatre outing that I was not informed of...all goes to prove my point...forgetable I am...
so yea, after my nap-esque thing I went over and hung out at Brian's for a while...ate chinese food...got two new fortunes! Mrs. Beck was nice enough to cover what was left for me to take hoome with me, but I forgot it, of course! hehe, 'tis alright.
I came home, and got online to see if I could find someone in particualar...but yea...not online...grr...oh well...I still had some quite interesting conversations with a couple of people, my friend Emily in particular...she very much made me quite happy, and helped take my mind off of some stuff...but yea, I told her that her words were blogworthy...so here are some exerpts...
emonee87: religious chain letters
emonee87: !
emonee87: gah!
AlwAysDreAmA: HAHA!!!!
AlwAysDreAmA: you mean those exist?
emonee87: those are the worst b/c they are like
emonee87: if you are a christian, you will forward this to one million people
emonee87: in 30 seconds
AlwAysDreAmA: HAHA
emonee87: if you don't forward this, you will burn in the flames of heck...
emonee87: ...FOREVER!AlwAysDreAmA: HAHA!
emonee87: it is
emonee87: and you feel guilty
emonee87: but you are like, "I dont' think God sent this email"
emonee87: ...but maybe he did!
emonee87: you never know, you could be deleting God's email!
...
emonee87: girls tear themselves up about other people
emonee87: and guys just tear themselves up about themselves
AlwAysDreAmA: OMG....
AlwAysDreAmA: THAT'S IT!!!!
AlwAysDreAmA: Emily...you are a genious!
AlwAysDreAmA: you are going on my blog...
emonee87: yes!
emonee87: my goal in life!
Hehe...so yea, that is pretty much all I feel like putting...but yea, I have to get up early in the morning so that I can go up to the school for some stuff...le sigh....goodnight...
Much Love,
DeAnna
It hurts my heart so bad
Seeing you sigh and shake
Broken down so low - so sad
I can’t let you break
6.04.2005
Mood of the Moment: bleh
Music of the Moment: Jewel - Foolish Games
Today my entire family went swimming...except me of course....nah, I'm still quite cooked from my last Bolton experience. The fact that I wasn't going, of course, upset my Dad. Of course he asked me what I intended on doing instead, and I told him I wasn't sure...but that there were a couple of things that I was thinking of...and it turned in to a big aggrevated lecture-esque sort of discussion. In which the words "do what you want, try not to get pregnant!" were angrily uttered. He said later that he didn't mean it...but you dont say things like that unless you are actually thinking them...you just may not mean for the words to come out...but yea...that was my morning. Just after my Dad chilled out some, i called Brian's...not home...left a message. Call Jamie...no answer...leave a message. The house is now empty, and I am hungry...hmmm...there is no milk....it is impossible to cook anything that we have w/out milk. Hmm...we have salad, but it's old, but I'm starving....eat a bowl of salad, picking out the bad parts as I go along. Call a couple of other people...they are all busy...they have lives....and cars. Read the Book for a bit...realize that as if I become a nun, this is how my day would be...i could do that...yea...then play DDR for like an hour. Call jamie again...no answer...call Dustin...at a party on other side of Winston...cant come get me. Call Brian's again..he has company, and cant come to the phone...Call Jennifer...woot! a response! talk to Jennifer for a while...get a beep...it's Brian...hmmm....tell him I'll call him back in a bit...talk to Jennifer a bit more. Call Brian back...he is about to go somewhere with Eric...he had just called back to see what I wanted (could it be the fact that I told you yesterday that I wanted to do something today...and you had said we would? no...that couldn't possibly be it.....it's ok...I know, you forgot...dont worry, I'm used to it...) At this point the few peices of good lettuce that I have eaten have lost all effect, and I am starving. I get online and find a few more friends to ask if they can drive me somewhere, anywhere that has edible things, or milk. No luck. Play DDR some more, it takes my mind off of things, including hunger. Get tired, so sit and listen to music, scribble some lyrics that come into my head, they aren't great, and they want actually be a song until I give them to Brian so that he can give me some tune to set them to, which wont be for like atleast a year...grr. Go for a walk...come back, see a movie is about to come on that I want to watch, remember that Paw-Paw wanted to see it, but he doesn't have this channel, grab a tape, and record "Finding Neverland" as I watch it...cry (only partially b/c of the movie)...Stop the tape...play DDR some more...family comes home...show Josh how to play DDR...(so cute)...retire to computer to check out some school stuff and to work on some pictures...finish w/that...decide to blog...tah-dah...that is my day...my worthless day...
ok, I think I am going to go to bed now...I am tired, and I am developing a headache...I told Brian that I would call him in the morning, but I dont know if I will, simply because I will probrobly disturb him because he will most likely forget that he asked me to call...but I dont know....til later...
Beaucoup D'Amour,
DeAnna
In ten days I will have been on this earth for 18 years, and in that 18 years, the only effect that I can see that I have made on this world is all inside of my family. Even there it is not much. This year I thought that perhaps more than three nonrelatives would be at my B-day party, but I doubt that. I've come to the conclusion that there are many more important things to do than attend my birthday outing-thing...it's not that people dislike me...just that they are indifferent to me...nobody ever says "I wish DeAnna was here." It it just sort of disheartening to know that in 18 years I have managed to make an impact on nobody's life...but oh well. I can deal with it...it is what I am good at...
Music of the Moment: Jewel - Foolish Games
Today my entire family went swimming...except me of course....nah, I'm still quite cooked from my last Bolton experience. The fact that I wasn't going, of course, upset my Dad. Of course he asked me what I intended on doing instead, and I told him I wasn't sure...but that there were a couple of things that I was thinking of...and it turned in to a big aggrevated lecture-esque sort of discussion. In which the words "do what you want, try not to get pregnant!" were angrily uttered. He said later that he didn't mean it...but you dont say things like that unless you are actually thinking them...you just may not mean for the words to come out...but yea...that was my morning. Just after my Dad chilled out some, i called Brian's...not home...left a message. Call Jamie...no answer...leave a message. The house is now empty, and I am hungry...hmmm...there is no milk....it is impossible to cook anything that we have w/out milk. Hmm...we have salad, but it's old, but I'm starving....eat a bowl of salad, picking out the bad parts as I go along. Call a couple of other people...they are all busy...they have lives....and cars. Read the Book for a bit...realize that as if I become a nun, this is how my day would be...i could do that...yea...then play DDR for like an hour. Call jamie again...no answer...call Dustin...at a party on other side of Winston...cant come get me. Call Brian's again..he has company, and cant come to the phone...Call Jennifer...woot! a response! talk to Jennifer for a while...get a beep...it's Brian...hmmm....tell him I'll call him back in a bit...talk to Jennifer a bit more. Call Brian back...he is about to go somewhere with Eric...he had just called back to see what I wanted (could it be the fact that I told you yesterday that I wanted to do something today...and you had said we would? no...that couldn't possibly be it.....it's ok...I know, you forgot...dont worry, I'm used to it...) At this point the few peices of good lettuce that I have eaten have lost all effect, and I am starving. I get online and find a few more friends to ask if they can drive me somewhere, anywhere that has edible things, or milk. No luck. Play DDR some more, it takes my mind off of things, including hunger. Get tired, so sit and listen to music, scribble some lyrics that come into my head, they aren't great, and they want actually be a song until I give them to Brian so that he can give me some tune to set them to, which wont be for like atleast a year...grr. Go for a walk...come back, see a movie is about to come on that I want to watch, remember that Paw-Paw wanted to see it, but he doesn't have this channel, grab a tape, and record "Finding Neverland" as I watch it...cry (only partially b/c of the movie)...Stop the tape...play DDR some more...family comes home...show Josh how to play DDR...(so cute)...retire to computer to check out some school stuff and to work on some pictures...finish w/that...decide to blog...tah-dah...that is my day...my worthless day...
ok, I think I am going to go to bed now...I am tired, and I am developing a headache...I told Brian that I would call him in the morning, but I dont know if I will, simply because I will probrobly disturb him because he will most likely forget that he asked me to call...but I dont know....til later...
Beaucoup D'Amour,
DeAnna
In ten days I will have been on this earth for 18 years, and in that 18 years, the only effect that I can see that I have made on this world is all inside of my family. Even there it is not much. This year I thought that perhaps more than three nonrelatives would be at my B-day party, but I doubt that. I've come to the conclusion that there are many more important things to do than attend my birthday outing-thing...it's not that people dislike me...just that they are indifferent to me...nobody ever says "I wish DeAnna was here." It it just sort of disheartening to know that in 18 years I have managed to make an impact on nobody's life...but oh well. I can deal with it...it is what I am good at...
Mood of the Moment: Happy...I have to be.....nobody else will!
Music of the Moment:Deathcab for Cutie - Lack of Color
My sunburn is SLOWLY getting better...but I still look like a lizerd. My face is peeling....but it shouldn't yet...the skin underneath is not ready....I shouldn't peel it....but i just reflexively peel it off because it itches, then I have a little sore red spot.....sucks...
My dad is talking to me right now. he is saying that I am overly dramatic and need to grow up. He says a lot of things about me...I am not even sure that he realizes that I listen to him when he says them...I dont know. I do think that I am overly dramatic in a way though...(oh yea...he is now telling me that I make HIM feel like crap...but anyway...) I think I care too much what people think about me. I'd like to be someone that makes others smile...but my lot in life that is not. I know this, but I try anyway and then for some reason I get upset when i fail. Not only do I fail though, but I seem to do the opposite...I seem to upset people...but it is ok.
I do miss Tammy....an Chris....Tammy was endlessly happy to see me...and Chris would roll his eyes, but a smile would be attached. (my dad has now switched gears and is describing to me how I can look more like Anjelina Jolie.)
Emily and I were talking about marriage the other day...she was telling me thatover 50% of girls have met their future husbands by the time they turn 18...I found it amusing....she was like "just picture everyone you know right now....there is a 50% chance you will marry one of them"...heh....that is if I marry....because right now it seems that I shall be a nun. Everyone keeps asking me why I say that...I should thiink it would be quite obvious...people are like "dont you wanna have sex?" and I'm like "when I get married" and then people are like "well you can't get married if you are a nun" and I'm like "well, I cant get married if I'm not one either" and they are like "why not?" and I'm like "because nobody would ever marry me!"...it's not that hard to figure out....and if you are gonna be alone, you might as well be alone with God....so there you go. If I get married I shall not be a nun....the end.
haha...my Dad is now going on B/C I showed him a picture of Kyle, and he wears eyeliner, so he is ranting about guys wearing eyeliner...hehe...
but yea, I'm gonna go now...I'm tired....
Much Love,
DeAnna
I'm missing your laugh,
How did it break?
and when did your eyes
begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as your pretending
I'm cuddling close to blanket and sheets
and I am alone in my defeat...
Music of the Moment:Deathcab for Cutie - Lack of Color
My sunburn is SLOWLY getting better...but I still look like a lizerd. My face is peeling....but it shouldn't yet...the skin underneath is not ready....I shouldn't peel it....but i just reflexively peel it off because it itches, then I have a little sore red spot.....sucks...
My dad is talking to me right now. he is saying that I am overly dramatic and need to grow up. He says a lot of things about me...I am not even sure that he realizes that I listen to him when he says them...I dont know. I do think that I am overly dramatic in a way though...(oh yea...he is now telling me that I make HIM feel like crap...but anyway...) I think I care too much what people think about me. I'd like to be someone that makes others smile...but my lot in life that is not. I know this, but I try anyway and then for some reason I get upset when i fail. Not only do I fail though, but I seem to do the opposite...I seem to upset people...but it is ok.
I do miss Tammy....an Chris....Tammy was endlessly happy to see me...and Chris would roll his eyes, but a smile would be attached. (my dad has now switched gears and is describing to me how I can look more like Anjelina Jolie.)
Emily and I were talking about marriage the other day...she was telling me thatover 50% of girls have met their future husbands by the time they turn 18...I found it amusing....she was like "just picture everyone you know right now....there is a 50% chance you will marry one of them"...heh....that is if I marry....because right now it seems that I shall be a nun. Everyone keeps asking me why I say that...I should thiink it would be quite obvious...people are like "dont you wanna have sex?" and I'm like "when I get married" and then people are like "well you can't get married if you are a nun" and I'm like "well, I cant get married if I'm not one either" and they are like "why not?" and I'm like "because nobody would ever marry me!"...it's not that hard to figure out....and if you are gonna be alone, you might as well be alone with God....so there you go. If I get married I shall not be a nun....the end.
haha...my Dad is now going on B/C I showed him a picture of Kyle, and he wears eyeliner, so he is ranting about guys wearing eyeliner...hehe...
but yea, I'm gonna go now...I'm tired....
Much Love,
DeAnna
I'm missing your laugh,
How did it break?
and when did your eyes
begin to look fake?
I hope you're as happy as your pretending
I'm cuddling close to blanket and sheets
and I am alone in my defeat...
