6.11.2005
Music of the moment: Sarah M...uhhh...dont feel like spelling it...
Ok so i am fairly convinced that nobody really wants to come to my b-day gathering thing. I am very saddened by this...and I fear that it shall turn out like all of my other birthday parties...only this time i was all like...hey, it isn't a party, it is just a bunch of people going out to eat...everyone likes to go out to eat...but people keep dropping out and I fear that I will end up sitting there with one or two people just like usual...and they will have a terrible time because they came just to see the other people that were gonna be there...and I'm gonna feel like crap for even ever asking anyone to come and I swear that if that happens this year then I will not have anything for my birthday next year...*takes breath*...I've given it 18 tries and still I cant get the attendance to my birthdays to break into double digits...I will just give up.
On top of that is the fact that two of the main people that I want to see on my birthday are not getting along at the moment and I fear that if they both come then they will both be miserable. I love them both incredibly much, and if they are miserable then I shall be too. Then there is another pair of friends that are not really getting along either...but I think I can deal witht he two of them being there and I really appologize if this is a really big run-on sentence and if there are typos because I really am just rambling because I am really upset and dont care if I have typos...
Oh, and we shall not mention the fact that one of the aforementioned friends was kinda talking to me tonight and I found out that he was upset, but he wouldn't tell me what about because apparently I go and tell things that people tell me. That is really beautiful. If I say I am not goiing to tell someone then I am not going to tell someone....but then again that is probrobly a big lie because I am a big liar, just ask my parents if you dont believe me....which you shouldn't believe me, because all I know how to do is lie...and I am nieve, and basically just an idiot that doesn't know anything about the real world...
While I'm at it, let me go ahead and mention the fact that whe the guy that you have liked for bloody ever asks you "hey, so, who do you like?" it is a very odd and hard predicament...so all you can say is "I dont know..."....and then you wonder later if you should have just said what you wanted to and gotten the damage over and done with...but whatever...I know how it shall end up...I shall be a nun...
What did you mean when you said I love you?
On the brightside, Brennan is comming home on the 24 of July, and is staying for 3 days, so you may not hear from me much during that time period.
ok, I am calmer now, and I am tired, but my dad told me to "see him" before I went to bed, so a lecture may be headed my way...but yea, goodnight to all...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Which of the bold faced lies will we use?"
