I DreAm in ShAdes of Violet

Jennifer.....Jennifer.....Jennifer............has dropped off the face of the earth!!!!!!! I have tried to contact her multiple times, for several days, and nothing! I called her like 6 Billion times today, and no response. I WENT TO HER HOUSE IN HOPES SHE MIGHT BE THERE!!! NOTHING!!! The only thing that stirred in the house was the dog. Sigh. I wanna talk to jennifer....I wanted her to come to barnes and nobles with me today, and a couple other places. But no, I cant find her. It makes me wanna cry. perhaps if I had a phone I could attemt to call more, but I have no phone, and she is never online when I am...Grr! I not happy. Sigh.....
Ok, on to less depressing stuff...I got to watch my movie, the extended edition of Return of the King. It was cool. There was cool stuff in there. I got to watch it with someone I wanted to watch it with, whether they liked it or not! Mwahaha! ok, I'm stopping now. Hehe. I don't know why I am being so happy, because I am actually somewhat saddened by some certain stuff. Not stuff to be written here. If you know me, ask me, I may tell you, but I doubt it. Ah well....I shall go and think tonight....until later...
Much Love,
DeAnna

(p.s. To those of you that were wondering but didn't ask.....Beaucoup D'amour....means much love...)

if I could please revert everyone's attention to the time...I have just arrived home from Charlotte...on top of that, I feel like crap. Yesterday my throat was a little sore, and my nose a little stuffy, but today....ugh. I cant breathe, my thraot is on fire, and I keep coughing, which makes it worse. Grrr, argh. So yea, the mp3 player I got for Christmas.....the battery....is about dead. Yea, that's almost sad, isn't it. I love that thing. My mom, on our way to Charlotte at one point in time looked back at me and was like "Can you hear that?" and I'm like "yep!" and smiled and continued to bob my head in the back seat, shaking the entire car in the process, and getting on everyone's nerves in the process......it was fun. I hated being scrunched up in the back seat with the munchkins for a 2 hour stretch....that is cruel and unusual punishment for which there was no crime! It is not my fault that my parents waited almost 10 years before having another child, and then had another almost immediately after, but I'm the one that gets to sit in the back and play referee between the two of them for 2 hours at a time while I feel like crap. There were a couple of times where I simply said "Father.....since we are in traffic, and the car is stopped, could you please turn and smite the children down for me???" Then he turned and gave them the look that strikes fear into the hearts of all young children. Immediately all was resolved. hehe. oh well, It's gonna be a long day tom. I'll have no phone, and my mom's gonna be gone. What I'd like to do is invite someone over to watch my Return of the King extended edition with me. I wanna talk to jennifer, I haven't spoken to her in a long time...grr. I wanna watch my movie,with someone, a particular someone, but I shall not say who at this time....not that it is hard to figure out, but oh well. I wanna not be here all day tomorrow....so that I can think about stuff, and have time to compare myself to certain other people and completely bum myself out, wishing I was cool. ok, so only jason knows what I was talking about just then, but that is ok. Tomorrow I wanna go out with jennifer somewhere, or with Brian. I need to talk to him, I also need to talk to jennifer. sigh. I cannot do so, for I am lacking in communication devices. It would be kinda nifty if people showed up at my house tomorrow, like, anyone, but not really, cuz I'd be home alone, and if people are here when i am home alone, I shall be shot, quartered, or beheaded, depending upon how imaginative my parents are feeling at the moment. Grr. Oh well, I'm tired, I dont feel well, I'm gonna go to bed, steal my smoosh me pillow back from my sister, and go to sleep now. until later...
Beaucoup D'amour,
DeAnna

These last couple of day's have been crazy! I have had hardly any time whatsoever! The only extra time I have had, I went to visit Tammy....and...I got to see her open her Christmas presents.....she was smiling and happy. That made me really happy. She liked her gifts....and more importantly, she is still here. Her son's wife is going to have her labor induced on her second child tomorrow I think...so she may get to see the baby, she wants that more than anything...she is on a morphine drip right now, to keep her comfortable....and I have to stop now, or I'm gonna cry.
On a not much better topic, I find it somehow important to mention that for the first time in months, I rode by Chris' grave today. I was sad for a few moments...but it passed. I miss him....and I have to stop with that now too...
Today was good, Santa was good to me, hehe. I got to spend time with Brian, though I feel bad taking him away from his family, only to have him interrogated by Catherine. Julie acted surprisingly well, hmmm......except for a little music discrepency....she kinda made me mad then, and she started talking later about how she hates disney......so i put in Mulan, and watched it, almost full volume. Hehe....I'm mean. But, yea.....good day....I'm goin to Charlotte tom....I'll try to blog.....until later......
Much Love,
DeAnna

All right...to those of you that have begged me to use this blog as something other than a public record of my day: this should make you happy. I have been asked by those who have read my stories to use this space to sort of publish my things onto the internet. I have thought about putting the first few chapters of the story of Violet on here to see if anyone liked it, I know that the people that I allowed to read them did ask me to hurry up and finish. That made me happy. Tonight I am not going to write about Violet, or Daniel, or Desiree, or Anne....no tonight I am not going to write any sort of fiction. If you'll notice the title of this post, you will see that it is about my thanatopsis. I have quite a good reason for this topic...If you don't know what it means, it is explained later. My reason for this topic is also explained at the end. It is not my best work, and I', thinking it up as I go along, but perhaps it shall get some of you off of my back...I never use spell check or grammar check in this blog, so pardon any errors.

I bored......I wanna not be at home.....too scared to call someone else.....somebody pleez call me! I dont care I'll do anything....give me a reason to leave!...

I went out tonight. I went to Brian's. And I got jennifer over there. Stuff was said that made me happy, but more that made me sad. I kind of felt special though, because Brian noticed that I was upset. He said I wasn't leaving until I told him....he was right. He also said I am not gonna sleep a wink tonight....looks like he is right about that too. I feel bad, jennifer called me at Brian's, and I should have talked to her, usually i would pick up on stuff like that...but not tonight, not when I needed to....grr. Sorry, most of you have no clu what I'm talking about. Good, I like it that way. the stuff that went on tonight is for my other journal....almost all of it. I dont know....all I do know is that I finally said my piece, even if it was for no good, and Brian was right.....tonight is not a sleeping night...

Today has been fairly fun. It was odd waking up this morning with no obligation to school...or work...or someone else. It was DeAnna's day to do anything she wanted. Only not. Cuz she was grounded. But other than that....DeAnna's day to do anything she wanted....hehe. I did the stuff I needed to do to be un-grounded, then I watched a movie with my mom that made me cry...alot...that movie always does. Then I went to the store to get some things needed for survival. When I came home I went to my grandmother's house to...uhhh...make an.....uhh...important phone call. yea, I aske my Grandparents to use the phone and Me-Maw was like "for what?" and Paw-Paw was like "God, Pat, leave the girl alone! You always gotta ask her all sorts of questions about everything and get in everybody else's business! Mind your own business and I promise everyone else can mind their's just fine!" he just looked at me and smiled, Me-Maw was like "I was just asking Bobby, you aint gotta blow up at me like that!" and got all huffy....Paw-Paw ignored her, handed me the phone and was like, "you can talk as long as you want, in my room if you want" and smiled. I love me Paw-Paw! He's like the best grandparent ever. I love my Me-Maw too, it's just that we dont see eye to eye on a lot of things. We are both stubborn people, nad that doesn't work well. So yea, i called Brianand talked for a while, and i was gonna go over there, but my grandparents needed some help with some stuff at the house. So yea, i finally came home to see most of the good parts toward the end of the return of the king. I got to see the cool legolas part...and also my favorite part....hehe. I'm such a girl. Hehe, if you know what my favorite part is then you will understand why I say that. The first time I saw that movie (which would be the midnight showing in the theatre by the way.....) my friend Peace and I were all like huddled together and being excited little girls because we knew what was comming, and we tried not to be loud, but the thing we wanted to happen did and the theatre was otherwise quiet and we couldn't help but be loud, and well, I'm not gonna say what we did....but let's just say that the rest of the people in the auditorium turned towards us and they were entertained. What can I say....It made us happy. Ok, I guess that makes no sense without me telling you what our favorite part is...it's at the end, after Aragorn is crowned (sorry if you are not a lord of the rings fan, because you are probrobly already lost....) but, yea, then the elves walk up, and he speaks to Legolas, and legolas motions behind him....and you see the banner, but not the person behind it.....then the music disappears....slow motion....and the awesome goose-bump-inspiring music starts just as you begin to see ARWEN come from behind the banner...and Aragorn sees her.....and they have a beautiful mushy moment......and it is just so awesome....and mushy....and deliciously girly....and I love it. It is followed with the part where everyone bows to the hobbits and it is just cool, and goose-bump-inspiring....it is great. I am way too into movies. but, yea, back to my day...Then I went to see a movie with Brian and his parents and two other people whose names I cannot remember. Hehe. I'm bad with names. I had fun. OHHHH! but get this! I really did not want to come home afterwards, I wanted to go over to Brian's, but I didn't b/c I had to be home at 10...and I knew that it is impossible for me to just go over for a few minutes....so I was proud of my self control in not going over, and being a good girl and comming home on time....and what does my dad say when I came home????? "I'm surprised you didn't call and ask to stay out longer..." !!!!!!!!! I was like "I thought you'd get mad.." He was like "nah..."!!!!GRRRRRR!!!!! Why is it that when I do call to ask for more time, he is like grr, arrg, but when I decide not to so that he doesn't get mad he doesn't care! Grr. But, yea, I came home, talked to jennifer, and emily, and jason, and Danny, and John C....I am currently talking to Emily and Jason. So yea, I'm gonna go now.....goodnight.
Much Love,
DeAnna

(ps, to those of you that are very observant, kudos to you, you know who you are...you want an explaination....email me....gnight)

I'm the biggest pansy ever...Trust me on this. I really am. My ability to make people feel better is going wacky-loo. I try, but it doesn't seem to work right anymore. *sigh*. Oh well....I'm tired.....I'll talk more tomorrow or something, I promise......Goodnight. je t'aime=I like you
Much Love,
DeAnna

Yea, so, today nobody really wanted to talk to DeAnna, except possibly Jennifer, and she and I have played phone tag all day, we have yet to actually speak to one another. I tried calling her like 4 times before I went to see a movie, but no....i got her machine. This was of course after I found her number, and my dad got home, so yea. I went to see my movie, alone. I was good with that...I hate seeing movies alone, but i do it frequently. So, yea, I go in, fairly early, got a good seat. Then, of all the people that could have walked in and sat beside me...jon did. He was like "hey can i sit here?" The thing that popped into my head immediately was something one of my friends keeps saying to me: "DeAnna....learn to say NO!" So what did I do? I said yes, and mentally kicked myself over and over again. we talked some, and he kept mentioning times we had when he and I were we. Hehe....I found a way to get him to stop....."So....how's Lilith?" I asked. It was beautiful...he was like "uhh, she's fine, why?" I was like, "just curious" Then the movie started, and afterwards was the clasic "nice seeing you again"s and quick hugs.he was gonna walk with me to my car....but I was like "nah, I'm good" It was a fairly nifty trip though. I went at a time that I would see both shifts...I got to say hi to everyone, and give news of how I was. I was actually quite surprised. Everyone is all like "DeAnna....did you quit? When are you comming back? " all the people that are seasonals that have started since I last worked are like "I haven't seen you in forever, and I come back and you are gone? What's up with that?!" and I got lots of hugs and best wishes and stuff. It was cool, cuz I actually think that people miss me there. and they are not related to me....and it is nice. It's not something i've felt before. It's kind of wierd. But it made me happy. I got comments on my new shirt. That made me happy, too. Hehe. Emily was like "Hey DeAnna, whered you get that shirt from!" in a jokingly-mean way.... I was like "your boyfriend bought it for me....Yea! whatcha gonna do about it?!?!" and gave her the "bring it on" look. Hehe....it was funny...b/c Drew....her boyfriend....did, in fact, but mr my shirt. He works at hot topic, and he got it for me. Hehe. It was actually fairly expensive...hehe...I love you Drew! But yea, Emily knew that Drew had gotten it for me, sje was picking, we laughed, then mark came up and gave her the "get back to work" sneer, so I waved and walked away. Hehe....Jon asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I'm like "no....but I do like someone" he kind of deflated. I cant say I wasn't pleased. What he fails to realize is that just b/c I like someone, doesn't make me anywhere close to having a boyfriend. Oh well. So yea, after movies, came home, played some more phone tag with jennifer, then she finally got online. We talked....she convinced me to call Brian. We talked, I was happy....then me and jennifer continued to talk, and said something that made me....well...sort of...in a way....cry. But that is ok, because she was venting, and that is understandable, and she apologized and asked for forgiveness later, i told her there was nothing to forgive. If the Devil himself were to ask God to forgive him...He would in a heartbeat... Hehe. Jennifer is far from the Devil....homework is the devil, Jennifer is cool....lol. Ok, I'm gonna go now.....gnight everyone!
Much love,
DeAnna

(and just so you know how long it took me to type this, I started at the post time, but right now it is 10:30, because I've been so distracted.....)

Today was a great day. I didn't do what I wanted to do, I was going to this morning, but something happened and I couldn't. It's ok though....I'm in no real hurry to be told "DeAnna, I dont like you, never have, never will" It's just not on my top 10 thing that I want to hear....
Today in class was cool, i finished both exams early and got to chat w/people. I got to be tortured an threatened by Jennifer...It was amusing.
I came home this afternoon and talked to John....he has changed soooo much....it's amazing. Yea, nobody but emily knows who John is, but that is ok....Yea, I was happy....then Jason and noelle and jennifer signed on, and I was talking to all of them and john....and my dad got home with a phone....and i really just wanted to call Brian. So i did. It made me happy. I originally called to tell him something, but i didn't. So I was happy...but thoughtful....so i got online to blog, and Aim automatically comes up and, yea....big mistake.....I'm now exhausted, and I'm retiring for the night.
Much Love,
DeAnna

The dishes are clean at my house...the dishes are clean at my grandmother's house...at my grandmother's there are new sheets on the beds, there is a christmas tree, wreath, gingerbread house, 5 angels, new tablecloths, newly organised shoes, clean bathrooms, and a clean livingroom at my Grandmother's house.......because I find it physically impossible to say no.......man.....does my shoulder hurt!!! I took a pill, but it isn't helping. I'm ok though....I'm good.
so yea, that thing that I said I was going to do....me and my pansy self did not do it. I'm just sort of.....terrified that something bad will happen. It's not really that hard, so why cant I seem to do it???? Grr....arrg. I dont know, I'm a pansy...
Ok, so, today was our last regular school day, and I slept like a mad woman. I had a dream during third period. It was a dream muy bueno...tres bien...very good. Then the bell rang and woke me up. Drat! I was displeased. I could have stayed in that dream for a WHILE longer. I bet you want to know what that dream was about dont you??? It is probrobly not what you think (unless you are jennifeer, cuz I told her)but I'm not telling it to this journal/blog thing....cuz of some people that read it. Heh...no. It was interesting though, cuz that was one of the first times I've slept long enough to dream in class. WOW, it was bad.....I wouldn't be surprised if I snored!!! I was gone! I was nowhere CLOSE to conciousness!Then I woke up and was all happy and spazzed out and attacked Jennifer on her way to get some paper towels and scared the crap out of her. It was great. I am sad though. I'm scared. Classes and such are changing next semester...people that I looked forward to talking to are not going to have a reason to talk to me...and I will be sad. there are two classes I dont want to be over...4th period and 3rd period. they are my favorite...although 2nd is fun...I dont know....
Grr....I was pulled into a chatroom with Jason and noelle tonight...it was bad...they are all like..."ok deanna, talk!" and I'm all like "I know all, but my lips are sealed....I am God" hehe. I managed not to say anything. I almost wanted to, but it would have been mean...I hate high school. All this he said she said crap. "what did he/she say???" here's a new angle: WHO CARES! GEEZ it's high school, you may not even remember my name in a few years, much less what I said about you that one time. and in all honesty, I say nothing to anyone that I wouldn't say to that person, if they asked. Granted, I'm a drama queen, certain things I will spazz about, but that is my right as a teenager. But wow! The importance that some people place on things, and the random rules they set on things, it's just wierd! Grr!!!!!!!!
Ok, I'm stopping now, that was my frustrating thing for today, I'm better now...I am chilled.....as a matter of fact....I'm cold....It's cold in here....I'm going to go to bed now and cuddle in me blanket.....and see if I can steal my smoosh me pillow back from my sister....the little thief.....hehe....goodnight!
Much Love,
DeAnna

Today was a lovely day, until I got home from Brian's house, then it sucked. I, who have never really been grounded in my entire life, am now grounded....I find it hard to comprehend....to grasp, I dont get it. How can I go 17 years with no real groundings and then WHAM! unable to go anywhere after school! Fortunately it's only 3 days....yea....I can do this....I can stay at home for 3 days, no ddr, no work, no driving around.....OH GOD HELP ME!!!!!! :*(...
otherwise, I'm good. I'm terrified about something, but I'm good. I'm going to do something terribly stupid tom, provided I get the courage. I'll probrobly sabatage something very good, but....well...I dont know. *sigh* hopefully not...I dont know, I can simply try...anyway....I'm kinda tired now, but I am still happy just because.......I have a song :)...
Much Love,
DeAnna

"I would wrap the world in clover
But you make me see my way
And I would die for you tomorrow
Would you come to me today?
Sing a song of sadness about the girl with the happy face
And dance upon the water with a ripple or a trace"_Flogging Molly, Never Met a Girl Like You Before

yea, so, DeAnna's life with a job was boring...thus far, it seems that DeAnna's life with no work is going to be boring on a legendary scale....Plus, I'm broke. It sucks. I've been knitting like there is no tomorrow! I went to get some stuff for Jennifer tonight...hmmm.....didn't find it. Yea, and I went to eat with my family, including my aunt and 2 cousins. The two cousins were my age, and girls, and we got to discussing significant others....yea...I just sort of sat there. Cat was all like, "I'm getting a ring!" and everybody's all like yay Cat, and I just sort of sat there. Everyone had their own story to tell...heh. When some1 asked me I was just kinda like "I have friends....and some of them are boys..." It was amusing in a sad way. Just another way I stick out from that side of the family. I used to envy my big cousin...now....nah...I'm good. That is her and this is me. I like it that way....in the family circle it's nice, I'm not regarded as the good girl, I'm the screw-up, the reject.....and it's kinda cool, there's like this halo over my two cousin's head and I'm just sort of there. I'm still my Grandfather's favorite, and that's what I care about. I'd like to see them jump up instantly when he calls and go get his coffee, being sure to fill it too the right amount so he doesn't spill it, or run to get food b/c my grandmother has left him hungry...or heck, just go down there and chill with him to make him feel special....they dont do that. But it's cool, cuz it's like they are around and everyone is paying attention to them and I just sit there and smile to myself as I put the spoon and a half of creamer into paw-paw's coffee that nobody else even noticed was out. they can have the attention, I get it other places, and I dont like it...*smiles and nods*...yea....that is my reflective moment for the night. Hehe, my grandfather by the way is the coolest grandfather ever to walk the earth. He's one of the sweetest people ever. He love anyone I bring to him. He keeps asking me why I don't bring Jennifer down there more. Hehe. He makes me happy. my shoes make me happy....my socks make me happy...roses make me happy...being invited somewhere on x-mas makes me happy...Return of the king extended edition makes me happy. I just happy.....
much love,
DeAnna

Ok, so, I talked to Miss Judy today....she was very sad, she said she was really looking foreward to having my help before and during Christmas....she had about six people for me to train in the next week and a half, I told her I could come in and train if she wanted, but she was like "nah...I'll get a manager to train them....like it's supposed to be..." Everybody was like "we'll miss you over Christmas!" It made me feel special, but yea, I'm officially not working until atleast Jan. 6th....what does this mean? This means unfathomable boredom and extreme lack of funds is going to ensue...*sigh*. Next Saturday will be wierd! You see, I haven't had a saturday with no obligations in....well....let me think...GOD, I dont know when! It'll be insane! wow....but yea, I got almost everything done today, the only things I didn't get finished were finding Jennifer's Christmas present(it doesn't exist!) and wrapping Brian's...I can get those done pretty easy though...you see, it turns out that I have no wrapping paper at my house, ANYWHERE! yea, so, I need to remedy that...hmmm, I'm contemplating getting sydney a x-mas present....hmmm.....nah....lol. Anyways, I'm gonna go look for some lyrics and such online now, goodnight!
Much Love,
DeAnna

Yea, this is a Sunday, I am baking a cake, knitting, downloading music, washing clothes, blogging, wrapping a gift, soon to go talk to miss Judy, and go shopping for kids gifts......you would think that I am occupied, but, you see, when I am occupied, generally, I do not blog, now do I?...I bored...For the most part I'm happy today, but I have something on my mind, oh well, no way for me to change it now...ok, timer is going off g2g.....
Much Love,
DeAnna

I got sent home from work today...I was on concessions, and I was going to dump the popcorn, when Dustin bumped into me and made me impale my shoulder on the handle of the water cooler....It hurt...I was about to cry...It hurt soooo bad. My manager saw me, got Dustin to dump the popcorn and finish dealing with my costomer. I tried to continue working...but mark came and was like "DeAnna, bring your drawer up" and I was like "why", and mark was like "Because watching you move that arm of yours is making me and Will hurt...go home..." and he smiled...I was happy to go. I stopped by on my way and picked up a Christmas gift for someone, and then came home. I've come to the conclusion that I shall probrobly be taking a leave of absence from work. That is a good and bad thing...Bad thing: lack of funds....Good thing: no working on Christmas...that makes me happy. It would make Christmas good. I can think of some things that would make it wonderful...but not working is a start. Well..I'm gonna go watch a movie now...until later...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Oh, look What's this?
They're hanging mistletoe, they kiss
Why that looks so unique, inspired
They're gathering around to hear a story
Roasting chestnuts on a fire
What's this?..."_Jack Skeleton

Yea.....so....I stayed with Jennifer last night....which is funny, because it wasn't even a thought I had until her mom like asked me to. It was amusing. I stayed and talked and we watched Lord of the Rings... It was towards the end when we cought it...but I got to see the cool last battle part....with Aragorn, and the sword, and he walks out there all cool up to a bunch of uruk-hai and puts the sword in front of his face and it's all slow-mo and awesome looking.....yea....I get into movies too much. Jennifer and I talked about the books and the movies and I told her about a lot of stuff that wasn't in the movies, and I talked about how if I'd been given the chance to play Arwen Undomiel I would have jumped all over it and it would have been so awesome.....but I love liv tyler and she was good for that part, and....yea....I'm gonna calm down now. Hehe...I like lord of the rings. So yea...I'm gonna go to work today, from 11-5, then I'm prob. going to go get some christmas presents...hmm....I gotta get jennifer's, I know where that is at, Brian's....know where that is at...the kids'....that one's easy.....maybe sydney's...then I'll be out of money...hehe. Oh well, I otta go, much love to you all....
DeAnna

Hola....I am at jennifer's house right now. Hehe...I'm on her laptop. It's all nifty and new-like! It's quiet here...I like it. My parents and the kids have gone out to eat...but I've already eaten so I get to chill here...yay for me! Hehe...she has this really nifty thing where I can listen to music! It makes me very happy! I am sort of blah right now though...I allowed mself to get way too happy over something...what it is is unimportant...the point is that what is up must come down, and i'm kind of in the process of doing that....but it's cool. About last night, the "painful" thing...that was because I accidentally reinjured my shoulder. Yea..it's ok. ok, not really much more to blog about right now...maybe later...till then...
Much Love,
DeAnna

My day was happy....my night...was...painful. I'm tired, and I'm going to go to bed now. Much Love you you all....
DeAnna

"How you turned my world, you precious thing
You starve and near exhaust me
Everything I've done, I've done for you
I move the stars for no one
You've run so long
You've run so far
Your eyes can be so cruel
Just as I can be so cruel
Though I do believe in you
Yes I do
Live without the sunlight
Love without your heartbeat
I, I can't live within you
I can't live within you(sigh)
I, I can't live within you".....If you know what that is from and who sang it...then you are both really wierd and really cool.....goodnight...

Today has been a good day. No real specific reasons why....the only bad thing is that I had to present my project in astronomy....heh....that was not good. So yea....now i get to go from having a good day to what will probrobly be a pointless night of boredom at work. Ah well....I'll be on after I get home....till then...
Much Love,
DeAnna

"you cant see the demons, till the demons come calling for you" yea, new song stuck in my head. I like this one in my head better. I listened to in in the car on the way home from the marketplace mall. Hehe....they have DDR there....hehe. Yea, now I'm so bored I could die...yea, when I blog twice in one day....generally it means that the second time around, I'm bored as crap and I have nothing better to do. Jennifer really needs to update her website more....I bored! Well, dear Jason just got online....so I'll go talk to him now...goodnight...
Much Love,
DeAnna

"In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey, butane in my veins and I'm out to cut the junkie...." one day I will have a normal song stuck in my head. Today, obviously, is not that day. Today has been sort of up and down. Of course, now that I think about it....It's been more down than up. "so shave your face w/some mace in the dark...." !st period was cool cuz i sat next to jennifer until the end of class when mrs mcghee made me move. We watched a movie. 2nd period I started a project and I am about 15 min. from completing it....but we have the next two days. Third period I got to be messenger girl, and I got this nifty letter from Shelly that was folded so that it looked like a heart....It was cool. It made me happy. It also made me very frustrated after about 20 min. of trying to figure out how to re-fold it. I finally got it though. "forces of evil in a bozo nightmare, banned all the music w/a phony gas chamber".... that song will not get out of my head......So yea, in fourth we started presenting our projects.Yea.....I'm gonna fail. It's horrible.....I have NO TEXT in my entire presentation...It's very very bad. I prob. get to go tom. I'm gonna fail....I'm gonna make Corby look good. That's sad...but yea....today I just sat there and talked, or rather wrote back and forth, to jennifer. Yes....very interesting stuff there....but we wont go into that....While I wasn't writing to her I was either trying once again to re-fold the letter that I stupidly unfolded again, or writing in a letter. "my time is a piece of wax, falling on a termite...that's choking on the splinters..."...dang song....now, I will sometime write something, put someone's name on it, and write it like it is to them, with no intention of giving it to them. Yea, that is what I did today. It was to Brian. It asked several questions that I am wondering about, but I'm not really sure I want to know the answers. I guess the biggest one was why he stopped talking to me. I have yet to know why...but I can deal. I dont have to know....that is why I never really intended on giving it to him. I was just going to write down my little ramble and be happy...but unfortunately....jennifer found out. Heh, immediately that plan was down the drain. Yea, so I take jennifer to her grandmother's house. Go inside for a while, amazed at how many curse words she shouted right in front of her grandmother....my grandmother would have cussed me out....told my grandfather so that he can lay a guilt trip on me, told my mom so she can sneer at me, and tell my father so that he could smite me down.....it would have been bad. But yea, jennifer talked me into calling Brian to see if he wanted anything to eat, which he didn't, but I talked to him for a while, and of course jennifer managed to tell him about the letter that really wasn't intended for him...but it doesn't matter. Hehe, I let jennifer read it, and I got it back from her b/c it had stuff concerning her in it...hehe. But yea, I kinda felt bad for taking up Brian's time when he didn't want to talk to me anyway. Oh well...I stayed and chatted w/jennifer for a while...then came home to eat a salad. Mom, the kids, and I are currently watching "them", hehe...classic. Well, anyway...I'm gonna go now....tired of typing, and I need to listen to a new song to get this one out of my head, hehe.....
Much Love,
DeAnna

Nothing really special happened today. No major thing made me come to my decision to blog about what I am going to tonight. I just got tired of turning this online journal thing into a cover up. The reason that I got it is so that if I had something that people didn't know, because I was unwilling to admit it in person....they could find it here. Yet now I find myself telling lies to this blog. It's stupid. The first thing that I lied about was a while back. It mentioned that I had had a friend that I liked. By that I mean I was "in like with them"...I like that phrase. Anyway...I said that I had talked to this person and they didn't like me, and that I had stopped being in like with them. At the time...that is what I thought. I am afraid, however, that it was in fact out-right wrong. I never really stopped. I'm sorry...I know nobody really cares about who I like and whether or not they like me back, but I felt like saying it. I'm not going to do anthing of course....I promised a long time ago I wouldn't. As far as is known I have given up on him and he likes it that way, so that is the way it shall be. Besides....any time I even mention his name, and any hint of me liking him, Jennifer seems to get sad. I dont like to make Jennifer sad. I know that right now she has an oppurtunity, though it may be a long shot, but I am happy for her. That really makes no sense to anyone, I know, but that is not my secret to tell. So....yea...I have Cruel Mistress running through my head now. I felt like listening to it, and made Jennifer hear it twice in the car.....came home, took the kids to see santa....and what was the first thing that Olivia said when we got in the car???? "The squid song, play the squid song DeAnna!!!" So I happily listened to it again...and sadly listened to the one after it, but oh well. *Sigh*...I'm pathetic...I'm sorry for the ramble. I'm gonna go check on my shish kabobs now...
Much Love,
DeAnna

"the greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and to be loved in return..."
hmm, so I got the first part down.......

Hehe....found this online, found it humorous....

HORROR FILM WISDOM:
-When it seems that you've killed the monster, never check to see if it's really dead.
-If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion or who performed necrophilia or satanic practices, move away immediately.
-Do not search the basement, especially when the power has just gone out.
-If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they do not know, or if they speak using a voice other than their own, shoot them at once. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note: it's unlikely they'll die easy, so be prepared.
-When you have the benefit of numbers, never go alone.
-If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
-If you're running from the monster, you will most likely trip or fall. If you are female you will.
-Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine, especially if it is called Derry.
-If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
-When something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start your car, no matter how reliable the vehicle is normally, you'll have to crank the engine over many times before it will fire up.
-People arriving to rescue you generally get ambushed by the monster, so don't rely on them as your only means of escape. In fact, expect to be surprised and delayed by encountering their flayed corpse at some point.
-Do not call the police as they are either evil and will turn you in or will not believe you and laugh at you. Either way, you must handle the problem yourself.
-If you are using a gun to combat the all-comsuming evil, it is a good idea to quickly find a new means of defense, because no matter how much ammo you have, you'll run out just before you kill the monster (unless your name is Ash, in which case, you'll never have to reload).
-If you have defeated the monster, pay close attention to the camera, if it pans away for no apparent reason at all, get the heck out of there.
-Skeptics are always proved wrong in some horrible, nasty, painful way. Be a believer.
-If you are a child, don't panic! Monsters only attack overly horny teenagers. Children can NOT be killed in a movie, only possessed or absorbed. So cheer up!
-If you've beaten the monster into a bloody pulp and you're sure he must be dead, take the opportunity to dismember, burn, eat, blow up or otherwise utterly destroy him.

I'm sorry....this is gonna be short. I am hurting. My shoulder was prodded and stabbed and violated in all sorts of ways. It hurts worse than it ever has after a visit to the doctor. I cant do anything w/out it hurting...and I dont even have to do anything....it will just randomly hurt! oh well, I'm gonna stop now....told you it'd be short....
much love,
DeAnna

ok, so, I went to work tonight, only to be on concessions....Grr. But it's ok, we weren't busy at all, and I spent most of my time talking to Alex. He's a cool kid. He kinda actually got mad at me for not asking him to help me with lifting stuff when he saw it hurt my shoulder. I thought it was sweet. He cought word from durell that I could sing, and he bugged me all night to sing for him. I'd be singing quietly to myself and he'd try to sneak up on me. But he couldn't do it! HA! Finally, it was durell that started to sing a song that needed two parts that I knew, and he sang the first line over and over until finally i came in with the second one. we sang a little bit, then kinda faded out....but it made them happy b/c they had gotten me to sing...hehe, I felt special. Ah well, other than that I really don't have much to say, so good night...
Much love,
DeAnna

ok, so, I went to work tonight, only to be on concessions....Grr. But it's ok, we weren't busy at all, and I spent most of my time talking to Alex. He's a cool kid. He kinda actually got mad at me for not asking him to help me with lifting stuff when he saw it hurt my shoulder. I thought it was sweet. He cought word from durell that I could sing, and he bugged me all night to sing for him. I'd be singing quietly to myself and he'd try to sneak up on me. But he couldn't do it! HA! Finally, it was durell that started to sing a song that needed two parts that I knew, and he sang the first line over and over until finally i came in with the second one. we sang a little bit, then kinda faded out....but it made them happy b/c they had gotten me to sing...hehe, I felt special. Ah well, other than that I really don't have much to say, so good night...
Much love,
DeAnna

Ok, I'm sorry for the very depressing post last night,but I was kinda depressed. Today, when I checked my email, I felt much better, It can once again be summed up in a shorter quote from the same friend...:"I'm sorry". I really didn't need an apology...I wasn't mad...it made me happy to know that she didn't hate me...so, yea, that, along with other things, has made me happy. If you want to know, some of the other things are that I revieved compliments on me new cool lookin' pants at work last night, work was slow but not dead, and this morning at church...I was told...for the billionth time, that I look like angelina jolie. Hehe. I don't think so, but I do think she is pretty, so it flatters me. I'm happy. I just hope nothing goes wrong to mess it up...and being as I'm going to work, it probrobly will. "Ah well, such is the bread, of an everyday life". Hehe. I have to go to work now, I'll prob. be online later,
Much love,
DeAnna

I'm sorry that I haven't blogged in the past couple of days...it's not that there has been nothing to blog about, it's that there has been too much. All sorts of things have happened to me since I last blogged, some are good...some are bad. the most recent, and thus far biggest thing of all, is sad. It can be summed up in one quote from one of my dearest friends..."Deanna, I'm sorry, but get out of my life".....yea...I did a lot of crying last night. Today it has been the first thing on my mind all day...I dont know. I just keep wondering what I have done...I'm tired...I must go now...goodnight
Much love to all,
DeAnna

'Ello poppets,
Today started out as a bad day, a very bad day. I t started with bad news, and bad thoughts, and last night I had a bad dream that was compacted by something i was told this morning. I've had some WIERD dreams lately. Crazy dreams with jula, and sugga, and danny, and Brian Martinez, and nick, shelly, jennifer, Brian B. , and amy. Some are just wierd, some seem to mean something.....some have come true....I hate it when that happens...but anyway...yea, so I was just bad. It was almost a bad day completely, but then It turned around, went from bad to good instantaneously. I'm not going to say how, if you need to know, then you already know. But, yea, it has just gotten increasingly better. Hehe, and for the first time in a long while I all out laughed as hard as I could just a few minutes ago. It was this video that a friend jason sent to me, It was very funny, and I was happy, and I laughed forever. I shall never look at a trampoline the same way again....hehe. but yea, it is late, I am tired, so I'm going now...
Love you,
DeAnna