12.24.2004
My Thanatopsis
All right...to those of you that have begged me to use this blog as something other than a public record of my day: this should make you happy. I have been asked by those who have read my stories to use this space to sort of publish my things onto the internet. I have thought about putting the first few chapters of the story of Violet on here to see if anyone liked it, I know that the people that I allowed to read them did ask me to hurry up and finish. That made me happy. Tonight I am not going to write about Violet, or Daniel, or Desiree, or Anne....no tonight I am not going to write any sort of fiction. If you'll notice the title of this post, you will see that it is about my thanatopsis. I have quite a good reason for this topic...If you don't know what it means, it is explained later. My reason for this topic is also explained at the end. It is not my best work, and I', thinking it up as I go along, but perhaps it shall get some of you off of my back...I never use spell check or grammar check in this blog, so pardon any errors.
My Thanatopsis
Thanatopsis, it is a word that is not even in the vicinity of most people's vocabulary. For those that may have in fact heard the word brfore, it has probrobly been associated with a certain poem, I believe from the Transcendentalist period, by William Cullen Bryant. It is in fact a very good and well written poem, and the general theme behind it is very good. If you pay attention at the end of this little spill of mine, you will find a quote from that very poem. You see, when the poem was written, the auther, surprisingly, was only 16. Most people find it hard to believe that a boy of such an age could be capable of contemplating such thoughts and drawing such conclusions on the subject. I, however, did not find it surprising at all. I was 16 when I was first introduced to the piece. I could understand where he was comming from, but I had to disagree on his reasoning behind his conclusion.
Bryant stated that one should not fear death, that death should not be treated as the enemy, but instead as just the next step to a full life. He said that everyone dies, and therefore it can be seen as the thread that ties all living creatures together. The rich and the poor, the young and the old, the sad and the happy, all shall someday die. There is no way that money, power, or beauty can purchase immortality on earth. Bryant didn't view death as a depressing occasion because he saw it as his chance to be at equality with the rich and powerful, and at one with the earth. I do not view my death as a depressing occasion either, but for a quite different reason.
Before I go any further into my views and opinions, I am abligated to inform you that I am a Christian. I always have been, therefore nearly all of my views are based upon that very thing. There, now that that is said, on to the point. I do not fear death, nor do I beckon death to come faster. Do not mistake me for wanting to die. I do not. I quite enjoy life. My thoughts on the matter are this: There are two sides of death. There are two roles that you can play: the one who dies, and the loved one left behind. I have only experienced one of those. Whereas I know that a lot of the time death can be painful, speaking as a saved person, the pain of death is only temporary, and it is in fact dying, and not being dead, that is painful. I know that after I die, I shall be in a place where no pain can be felt. Therefore the thought of it doesn't scare me in the smallest of amounts.
The other role, however, is one that I have played. I know the part, I know the feeings and emotions and tears that accompany it. All that I have ever believed in my entire life tells me that when I die I shall go to heaven; therefore, I could not force myself to fear it, but being the person left behind...that is something that no words can describe. Atleast it is for me. The pain of the loss of someone that I hold dear is everlasting. It hits me like a brick thrown from an angry hand, but it doesn't end there. It gets worse as the thought of all that I had to say to that person, and the thought that I'll never be able to sinks in. There is no comparable feeling on this earth. It takes what seems to be years for the pain inside of me to nullify even in the slightest degree. No matter the time or place tears will fall from my eyes. For a while I cannot sem to comprehend why such a beautiful creature has been removed from this earth. In a way the sting of some losses will never fully heal. It is this side of death that is to be feared, if any. For the pain on this side is the longer lasting of the two, but not eternal, for one day you shall be reunited.
In essence, I say this to you: to fear death is to fear a life fully-lived.
"Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,
Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams."_William Cullen Bryant
Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams."_William Cullen Bryant
There you go, to those of you that wanted me to write about something important....there art thou happy?....If you are curious as to my choice of topics...then I'll tell you: I have no particular one best friend, I have friends, close friends, very close friends, and then a whole group of bst friends. Among this group that I consider my best friends is actually my mother's best friend. Her name is Tammy and she is one of the most awesome people I have ever met. She is giving, and loving, and caring, and selfless, and she has done things for me that I you wold never believe. She is strong and brave and I love her so incredibly much. A while back, she was diagnosed with lung cancer. She had chemo, came home, and was even talking, she was doing quite well...she went back to the hospital....suddenly....she can barely breathe....her heart is failing...the doctors have shortened her expactancy from having about 4 months to live, to.....well.....we just hope she will be able to open her gifts on Christmas.
So there, there is my news for the day, there is my important topic, take it and enjoy it....
I'm tired now, and sad, and I'm gonna go to bed. Until later...
Much Love,
DeAnna
# posted by DeAnna : 1:01 AM
