5.31.2005
Mood of the Moment: in pain
Music of the Moment: Dixie Chicks - Landslide (the original is next)
I have sun poisoning.....just to let everyone know....because of stupid Shal and stupid Jason, who decided that they were going to take me swimming, but didn't tell me that we were going to be there forever!!! So yea, I look like a lobster, but I need to get to Barnes and Nobles by tomorrow....yea....sucks it does...
ok, so, the brightest part of my day today was actually talking to Jason...he made me laugh so hard...
bLinKeRboY9: girls are evil
bLinKeRboY9: just call him
AlwAysDreAmA: why is that evil?!
AlwAysDreAmA: I always call him.....
AlwAysDreAmA: he can call a couple of times
bLinKeRboY9: because let me tell you this, from a guys view, he is probably sitting there waiting for you to call
bLinKeRboY9: and if he calls
bLinKeRboY9: he feels that he is weak
bLinKeRboY9: or something
bLinKeRboY9: its a guy thing
bLinKeRboY9: he feels his penis is not large
Hehe, I dont know why it made me laugh so much....but it does...even though it is wrong, I find it amusing....
I was reading some of my old blogs today....and I realized some very interesting....some of the things that seemed so big, and some that seemed so small, and they have changed so much....some questions that I asked of myself and others and now I have the answers to them...and they really didn't matter that much...it is entertaining...but ah well, I type with my keyboard on my legs, and my legs are burnt, and this is becomming QUITE painful, so I'm gonna go now....
Much Love,
DeAnna
"What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you get bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too"
Music of the Moment: Dixie Chicks - Landslide (the original is next)
I have sun poisoning.....just to let everyone know....because of stupid Shal and stupid Jason, who decided that they were going to take me swimming, but didn't tell me that we were going to be there forever!!! So yea, I look like a lobster, but I need to get to Barnes and Nobles by tomorrow....yea....sucks it does...
ok, so, the brightest part of my day today was actually talking to Jason...he made me laugh so hard...
bLinKeRboY9: girls are evil
bLinKeRboY9: just call him
AlwAysDreAmA: why is that evil?!
AlwAysDreAmA: I always call him.....
AlwAysDreAmA: he can call a couple of times
bLinKeRboY9: because let me tell you this, from a guys view, he is probably sitting there waiting for you to call
bLinKeRboY9: and if he calls
bLinKeRboY9: he feels that he is weak
bLinKeRboY9: or something
bLinKeRboY9: its a guy thing
bLinKeRboY9: he feels his penis is not large
Hehe, I dont know why it made me laugh so much....but it does...even though it is wrong, I find it amusing....
I was reading some of my old blogs today....and I realized some very interesting....some of the things that seemed so big, and some that seemed so small, and they have changed so much....some questions that I asked of myself and others and now I have the answers to them...and they really didn't matter that much...it is entertaining...but ah well, I type with my keyboard on my legs, and my legs are burnt, and this is becomming QUITE painful, so I'm gonna go now....
Much Love,
DeAnna
"What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I've been afraid of changing
'Cause I've built my life around you
But time makes you get bolder
Even children get older
And I'm getting older too"
5.29.2005
Mood of the Moment: Clean
Music of the Moment: None, my cousins are over...so unless I listen to gospel music, no music for me...
So yea...let's see, what has happened since last I blogged...oh yea, I'm single now...after the most brief relationship in the history of mankind...but that is a odd thing that I do not want to get into. Just know that I kinda feel like Jennifer Lopez(I refuse to call her J.Lo....that's not a name, it's a nickname....and nicknames are for friends, and being as I've never met her, I am not her friend....) but yea...oddness...
Oh, I got a razor in the mail, one of those nifty "Intuition" razors....and you dont have to use shaving cream because it has that "moisture-rich solid" on it....ok, so, I used it....and a few minutes after I was done, and as my legs started itching, I realized....hey, moisture-rich things often have aloe in them....I am alergic to aloe....*scratch scratch*.....oh my cow....this is not good...the razor didn't have a label, well, it did, but I promptly removed it.....so I went online to a website, and looked and looked and eventually found that the solid had "many natural moisturizing ingredients including ALOE, which is proven to help soothe and soften skin".....unless you're bloody allergic to it!!!! It wasn't very much though, so it only lasted until that night.....but it sucked, I have scratch marks on my legs now from where I scratched them so much, but ah well....
I went midnight bowling the other night (left-handed) and guess who I ran into....Mr. Alexander Febrezio. AKA Alex....grrr....but I was nice...and we talked, and music played and he danced for me...haha...it was entertaining, but when he asked if my number was still the same, I told him yes....but that doesn't mean he should call it...I did give my # to Zim though, he is cool, not in that way though...but he does have a car, and he offered to be a ride if I ever needed it, so happy that makes me...
Speaking of phone numbers...I know someone who has mine, and told me he'd call it at 2 today...but it is 2:54 now, and the phone hasn't rang for me yet...but oh well, if he doesn't want to talk to me, force him I shall not...
yea, so, my family is having a cook-out thing today...fun fun...just me, my siblings, my parents, my cousins, and my aunt...oh I'm teaming with excitement....but yea...I'm going to go now, I had Olivia set up my DDR pad for me, andI go now to dance...I may write more tonight...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream"
Music of the Moment: None, my cousins are over...so unless I listen to gospel music, no music for me...
So yea...let's see, what has happened since last I blogged...oh yea, I'm single now...after the most brief relationship in the history of mankind...but that is a odd thing that I do not want to get into. Just know that I kinda feel like Jennifer Lopez(I refuse to call her J.Lo....that's not a name, it's a nickname....and nicknames are for friends, and being as I've never met her, I am not her friend....) but yea...oddness...
Oh, I got a razor in the mail, one of those nifty "Intuition" razors....and you dont have to use shaving cream because it has that "moisture-rich solid" on it....ok, so, I used it....and a few minutes after I was done, and as my legs started itching, I realized....hey, moisture-rich things often have aloe in them....I am alergic to aloe....*scratch scratch*.....oh my cow....this is not good...the razor didn't have a label, well, it did, but I promptly removed it.....so I went online to a website, and looked and looked and eventually found that the solid had "many natural moisturizing ingredients including ALOE, which is proven to help soothe and soften skin".....unless you're bloody allergic to it!!!! It wasn't very much though, so it only lasted until that night.....but it sucked, I have scratch marks on my legs now from where I scratched them so much, but ah well....
I went midnight bowling the other night (left-handed) and guess who I ran into....Mr. Alexander Febrezio. AKA Alex....grrr....but I was nice...and we talked, and music played and he danced for me...haha...it was entertaining, but when he asked if my number was still the same, I told him yes....but that doesn't mean he should call it...I did give my # to Zim though, he is cool, not in that way though...but he does have a car, and he offered to be a ride if I ever needed it, so happy that makes me...
Speaking of phone numbers...I know someone who has mine, and told me he'd call it at 2 today...but it is 2:54 now, and the phone hasn't rang for me yet...but oh well, if he doesn't want to talk to me, force him I shall not...
yea, so, my family is having a cook-out thing today...fun fun...just me, my siblings, my parents, my cousins, and my aunt...oh I'm teaming with excitement....but yea...I'm going to go now, I had Olivia set up my DDR pad for me, andI go now to dance...I may write more tonight...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
But that was just a dream"
5.27.2005
Mood of the Moment: Tired
Music of the Moment: Flogging Molly- Drunken Lullabies
So yea...today I got up really late...I looked over at the clock and it was like 11:30....I was like...dang, I need to go to bed earlier....right now, it officially the same time as it was when I went to bed last night....and I am still up....the summer cycle is slowly creeping over me....soon I shall be sleeping past Noon everyday...*le sigh*...
Questions, I still have them, but like I said, I have managed to put them on the backburner for a while...until next time something happens to jog them back into my immediate thought...ah well...
Ok...so here's the deal: if anybody just HAPPENS to be going to anywhere near 1st street in Charlotte tomorrow at oh say 11 o'clock in the morning...it would be great if I could hitch a ride! Yea...I know...'tis hopeless...If I only had a car...I could see....touch...get the autograph of the peoples of # doors Down....a band which I have a strange affinity towards, and would love to see... FOR FREE!!!!! grr....such a thing will not be possible... I know someone that might have taken me, but out of town they are... Ah well, such is the bread of an everyday life...
I went to go see Kingdom of Heaven today...very entertaining it was...for me atleast...dear Crystal disagrees with me...as with a lot of things (except for the beauty of Harry Potter...)but I love her anyway! I did find it interesting, however, that the main character was talking about how he was trying to atone for his/his dead wife's sins, yet not even like half way through the movie he sleeps with a woman that is married to another dude....not a good marriage, but a marriage not the least...so...I was amused....but what is a movie without atleast some sort of underlying love story...and what good is a love story with no sex scene...haha....movies today....gotta love 'em....darn kids...hehe
But yea, the movie had a wonderful cast, even though I'm tired of seeing orlando bloom play the same freaking character in every single movie...I want to see him in something that has a storyline that takes place after the creation of electricity...where he doesn't wield a sword or bow and arrow...only then will I say he is a good actor...only then....(great voice though).....We also had the guys that played Professor Lupen(Harry Potter #), Aramis(in Man in the Iron Mask, or if you prefer, you can see him as the voice of scar in the lion king), Qui Gon Gin (in Star Wars ep. I), Celeborn (LotR), the bad dude that beats the snot out of orlando bloom in Troy, and the doctor whose name I can't remember on Deep Space Nine...just to name a few. The girl was really pretty, but too much eye make-up she did have....but oh well....that's about all I have to say for that...
Alright, that is reall the only important thing I've done today...so I guess I'm done...and I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to bed now...much love to all,
DeAnna
"This cold and dark tormented Hell is all I'll ever know,
so when you get to Heaven may the Devil be your judge..."
Music of the Moment: Flogging Molly- Drunken Lullabies
So yea...today I got up really late...I looked over at the clock and it was like 11:30....I was like...dang, I need to go to bed earlier....right now, it officially the same time as it was when I went to bed last night....and I am still up....the summer cycle is slowly creeping over me....soon I shall be sleeping past Noon everyday...*le sigh*...
Questions, I still have them, but like I said, I have managed to put them on the backburner for a while...until next time something happens to jog them back into my immediate thought...ah well...
Ok...so here's the deal: if anybody just HAPPENS to be going to anywhere near 1st street in Charlotte tomorrow at oh say 11 o'clock in the morning...it would be great if I could hitch a ride! Yea...I know...'tis hopeless...If I only had a car...I could see....touch...get the autograph of the peoples of # doors Down....a band which I have a strange affinity towards, and would love to see... FOR FREE!!!!! grr....such a thing will not be possible... I know someone that might have taken me, but out of town they are... Ah well, such is the bread of an everyday life...
I went to go see Kingdom of Heaven today...very entertaining it was...for me atleast...dear Crystal disagrees with me...as with a lot of things (except for the beauty of Harry Potter...)but I love her anyway! I did find it interesting, however, that the main character was talking about how he was trying to atone for his/his dead wife's sins, yet not even like half way through the movie he sleeps with a woman that is married to another dude....not a good marriage, but a marriage not the least...so...I was amused....but what is a movie without atleast some sort of underlying love story...and what good is a love story with no sex scene...haha....movies today....gotta love 'em....darn kids...hehe
But yea, the movie had a wonderful cast, even though I'm tired of seeing orlando bloom play the same freaking character in every single movie...I want to see him in something that has a storyline that takes place after the creation of electricity...where he doesn't wield a sword or bow and arrow...only then will I say he is a good actor...only then....(great voice though).....We also had the guys that played Professor Lupen(Harry Potter #), Aramis(in Man in the Iron Mask, or if you prefer, you can see him as the voice of scar in the lion king), Qui Gon Gin (in Star Wars ep. I), Celeborn (LotR), the bad dude that beats the snot out of orlando bloom in Troy, and the doctor whose name I can't remember on Deep Space Nine...just to name a few. The girl was really pretty, but too much eye make-up she did have....but oh well....that's about all I have to say for that...
Alright, that is reall the only important thing I've done today...so I guess I'm done...and I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to bed now...much love to all,
DeAnna
"This cold and dark tormented Hell is all I'll ever know,
so when you get to Heaven may the Devil be your judge..."
5.25.2005
Mood of the Moment: lost
Music of the Moment: Sarah McLachlan...'tis what I usually listen to if I am sad or upset
So many things...all floating around aimlessly in my head...no point in them actually being there...I'm not getting any closer to the answers...if anything I just keep getting further....but I can seem to find no way out. The way that I used to use is no longer available to me...I used to have someone to dump my things on...and they would come back with an amazingly simple answer to everything...and for some reason even if someone else had said it it didn't make sense until this person said it...but never again shall that option be available. Why? Because she is dead. Heh....that sucks...
I think too much, I question too much...these are things that I know...but as someone dear to me would say: It's in my nature...I can't change it. It's like I am in some great hall and at one end is a series of panels of glass, all with questions etched into them, either to myself or other people, and I cant get out unless all of the are smashed, but I cant even crack any of them unless the question that is etched into it is answered....a drastic analogy, I know....but it gets the point across...so many questions...to so many different people....about so many different things...
Should I give him a try? The guy that tries....who actually seems to care...the guy that I've known for so many years...and just never saw? Should I give him a try? Can love actually be learned? Is love there, and I just dont see it yet? If I wait until I am over....someone else...will it be too late? Will I ever actually reach that point, or will I just have to deal with it? Is there really any hope there? That is something I doubt...only a fools hope....so why can I not get rid of it? Why do I keep reminding myself of a moth to a flame? The next day...was it really going to be the next day? I'm really not sure if that makes the thought better or worse...to know that something I wanted so bad was so close, but ruined so quickly, and now all hope is gone... I think it was better thinking no hope ever existed. So that is what I will do...if hope is gone, then it does me no good to think there ever was any hope to begin with....so I wont. I shall give my attention to the one who tries for it...I shall try to give him my love as well...for he is the only one that will take it...
"Glowing ember
Burning hot
Burning slow
Deep within I’m shaken by the violence
Of existing for only you
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
And I have sense to recognize
That I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go"
Yea...so, I appologize for the little "stream-of-conciousness" blurb...I tend to do that occasionally...If you didn't understand any of it, good, you weren't supposed to....if you did...then you are one of only a few, and I am sorry....I just sort of ran out of my pages in my actual journal, and have yet to get a new one...and I needed somewhere to put that where I would be able tho find it when I look back later...
On top of those and many other questions is this not-so-good thought: If we cant come up with 3000 dollars in 30 days...my family will be evicted. Those of you that know me, know that there is really no way to come up with 3000 dollars in 30 days. I hate this house...but I dont want to be forced to leave it like that...not with Olivia and Josh...not like that...I dont know what will happen...but I know that earning over 10o dollars a day every single day at the job my dad is at is neigh impossible...so I ask anyone reading this that prays to pray for my family...don't worry about me....just pray for my family...
That is all for now, for I am tired, and I am going to bed now so that I can not sleep...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"This is what it sounds like,
When doves cry..."
Music of the Moment: Sarah McLachlan...'tis what I usually listen to if I am sad or upset
So many things...all floating around aimlessly in my head...no point in them actually being there...I'm not getting any closer to the answers...if anything I just keep getting further....but I can seem to find no way out. The way that I used to use is no longer available to me...I used to have someone to dump my things on...and they would come back with an amazingly simple answer to everything...and for some reason even if someone else had said it it didn't make sense until this person said it...but never again shall that option be available. Why? Because she is dead. Heh....that sucks...
I think too much, I question too much...these are things that I know...but as someone dear to me would say: It's in my nature...I can't change it. It's like I am in some great hall and at one end is a series of panels of glass, all with questions etched into them, either to myself or other people, and I cant get out unless all of the are smashed, but I cant even crack any of them unless the question that is etched into it is answered....a drastic analogy, I know....but it gets the point across...so many questions...to so many different people....about so many different things...
Should I give him a try? The guy that tries....who actually seems to care...the guy that I've known for so many years...and just never saw? Should I give him a try? Can love actually be learned? Is love there, and I just dont see it yet? If I wait until I am over....someone else...will it be too late? Will I ever actually reach that point, or will I just have to deal with it? Is there really any hope there? That is something I doubt...only a fools hope....so why can I not get rid of it? Why do I keep reminding myself of a moth to a flame? The next day...was it really going to be the next day? I'm really not sure if that makes the thought better or worse...to know that something I wanted so bad was so close, but ruined so quickly, and now all hope is gone... I think it was better thinking no hope ever existed. So that is what I will do...if hope is gone, then it does me no good to think there ever was any hope to begin with....so I wont. I shall give my attention to the one who tries for it...I shall try to give him my love as well...for he is the only one that will take it...
"Glowing ember
Burning hot
Burning slow
Deep within I’m shaken by the violence
Of existing for only you
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
And I have sense to recognize
That I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go"
Yea...so, I appologize for the little "stream-of-conciousness" blurb...I tend to do that occasionally...If you didn't understand any of it, good, you weren't supposed to....if you did...then you are one of only a few, and I am sorry....I just sort of ran out of my pages in my actual journal, and have yet to get a new one...and I needed somewhere to put that where I would be able tho find it when I look back later...
On top of those and many other questions is this not-so-good thought: If we cant come up with 3000 dollars in 30 days...my family will be evicted. Those of you that know me, know that there is really no way to come up with 3000 dollars in 30 days. I hate this house...but I dont want to be forced to leave it like that...not with Olivia and Josh...not like that...I dont know what will happen...but I know that earning over 10o dollars a day every single day at the job my dad is at is neigh impossible...so I ask anyone reading this that prays to pray for my family...don't worry about me....just pray for my family...
That is all for now, for I am tired, and I am going to bed now so that I can not sleep...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"This is what it sounds like,
When doves cry..."
5.24.2005
Mood of the Moment: Amused, at Jennifer's expense...
Music of the Moment: Anna Nalick....of course!
So....ladies and gentle men....I am both graduated and off of restriction. Granted, I have no car....but that is ok...I am happy with what I have...
I got to chill with Wes for a long while on Saturday, therefore I was obviously happy...hehe...'twas a beautiful thing. During the ceromony, however, I was seated nowhere near him....so I couldn't talk to him....but that is ok...that is why phones were invented! *smiles*...it is the little things that make me happy...
Why is that you can meet someone when you are 5 years old, and it takes you 13 bloody years to realize that you could date this guy?....hehe, ah well....it's all good....
So I went to see Star Wars today, time number two....I went with Jason and Jennifer....it was very entertaining, especially when me and Jennifer went to pull into a spot on my side of the building, and realized that the car parked next to ours was Brian's....hehe, I found it comical the way that Jennifer's voice went from being normal to a very annoyed high-pitched tone as she flipped out...I was kind of glad when we didn't bump into him though...just because....i have me reasons why...
Jennifer hated the movie....no appreciation...Jason ate all the way through it....and I cried again...dang it....Afterwards Jennifer and I went to Barnes and Nobles and read a couple of random books.....we didn't realize that we were there for a bloody hour and a half! yea, I didn't get home until after 8:30 sometime...and around 9:00 my mom was like....oh yea, Brian called....but I called back and he wasn't home, and he hasn't called back, so whatever....he doesn't have to call if he doesn't want to...
hmmm....have you ever been given a decision to make...or even better, a lot of decisions at the same time, that you just really could not seem to decide?
Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.
It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world_Modern Chaos Theory....
In 20 years, will you remember what you are doing right now? Will it matter? How can you be sure? Does it matter? It's only your life that you are affecting...or is it? Do you really know? When you are older, will there be things you wish you could change? Are there already? Does it matter? Does anything matter? Does everything matter? These are questions that nobody can truly answer...or can they? *smiles*
This is how my brain works sometimes...constantly nulling over things, contemplating them, then eventually pushing them back to the back of my brain.....until the next time I get into one of those moods....hehe, I just figured I'd share...
on that note....I am going to go do something....I dont know what....I think I'll call Brennan or something....just to bug him b/c I know he'll still be up....hehe....I'm just that bored! Ooooh!!!.....but I'm not that rich, I forgot that I have already overused my long distance budget this month....hmmmm....perhaps I shall call him long enough to tell him to call me!!!
Mwahaha!
well....I am really going now....I shall be back eventually, I promise...please don't cry! Hehe....
Much Love,
DeAnna
Music of the Moment: Anna Nalick....of course!
So....ladies and gentle men....I am both graduated and off of restriction. Granted, I have no car....but that is ok...I am happy with what I have...
I got to chill with Wes for a long while on Saturday, therefore I was obviously happy...hehe...'twas a beautiful thing. During the ceromony, however, I was seated nowhere near him....so I couldn't talk to him....but that is ok...that is why phones were invented! *smiles*...it is the little things that make me happy...
Why is that you can meet someone when you are 5 years old, and it takes you 13 bloody years to realize that you could date this guy?....hehe, ah well....it's all good....
So I went to see Star Wars today, time number two....I went with Jason and Jennifer....it was very entertaining, especially when me and Jennifer went to pull into a spot on my side of the building, and realized that the car parked next to ours was Brian's....hehe, I found it comical the way that Jennifer's voice went from being normal to a very annoyed high-pitched tone as she flipped out...I was kind of glad when we didn't bump into him though...just because....i have me reasons why...
Jennifer hated the movie....no appreciation...Jason ate all the way through it....and I cried again...dang it....Afterwards Jennifer and I went to Barnes and Nobles and read a couple of random books.....we didn't realize that we were there for a bloody hour and a half! yea, I didn't get home until after 8:30 sometime...and around 9:00 my mom was like....oh yea, Brian called....but I called back and he wasn't home, and he hasn't called back, so whatever....he doesn't have to call if he doesn't want to...
hmmm....have you ever been given a decision to make...or even better, a lot of decisions at the same time, that you just really could not seem to decide?
Our Father, who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.
It has been said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway around the world_Modern Chaos Theory....
In 20 years, will you remember what you are doing right now? Will it matter? How can you be sure? Does it matter? It's only your life that you are affecting...or is it? Do you really know? When you are older, will there be things you wish you could change? Are there already? Does it matter? Does anything matter? Does everything matter? These are questions that nobody can truly answer...or can they? *smiles*
This is how my brain works sometimes...constantly nulling over things, contemplating them, then eventually pushing them back to the back of my brain.....until the next time I get into one of those moods....hehe, I just figured I'd share...
on that note....I am going to go do something....I dont know what....I think I'll call Brennan or something....just to bug him b/c I know he'll still be up....hehe....I'm just that bored! Ooooh!!!.....but I'm not that rich, I forgot that I have already overused my long distance budget this month....hmmmm....perhaps I shall call him long enough to tell him to call me!!!
Mwahaha!
well....I am really going now....I shall be back eventually, I promise...please don't cry! Hehe....
Much Love,
DeAnna
5.19.2005
Mood of the Moment: Grrr...what has to come next...
Music of the Moment: Jet - Look what you've done
So....Awards day today...lovely....really...I mean, what is better than staying out until after three AM, just to get up at 6:45 the next morning to get to school before eight so that you can line up with a bunch of other people that are sitting there patting themselves on the back for their "accomplishments" over the past four years....everyone fails to realize this: When people look back at high school...do they reminisce about how lovely it was to get a perfect score on their freshman English exam...or how they were so proud that they had an ulcer by the age of 17 because they stressed so much over school...or how on awards day they got to go up to the stage like 10 times, as opposed to the one time that DeAnna girl's name was called? Let me tell you, later on down the road when them and their parents are thinking about all of the things they did in high school, thier academic accomplishments are probrobly going to be mentioned for about thirty seconds...honestly....after you go all the way through schooling, and get your career, you are really not going to care how you did in high school....yea, money for college is good...but God will provide you with what you need...so that is no big deal. I went through high school...I completed the lovely little "NC Scholars" program, and I got my little gold seal that looks nice on my diploma....but I didn't stress over it all the time, simply because I didn't need to. You get enough to get to the job you want.....you still end up at the same place in the end, whether you were on the A honor roll in high school makes no difference, you know.....the only time that anybody cares about it is right now, at this moment...but it won't make you any happier in life....you know...grrr....sorry....I just had a lot of time to think today, being as the only stimulation I had for 2 hours was the steady supply of mints from Adam Kassouf and Nick sitting one seat down and leaning over to tell me that his....uhhh....butt...was asleep, and then notifying me that it was "waking up"....hehe....watching him try to make it stop hurting was quite entertaining... :)
Well...on to happy news: Star Wars Episode III....my dear friends...I give it to you straight...A)there were a couple of times when it could have been better written in some parts(at no point in time should someone say "you're breaking my heart", and expect it to be taken seriously....though she did deliver the line beautifully...)but it was good for the most part as far as that goes, B) There were some Soundproblems that could have been caused by the actual projector and not the film....it looked in a couple of scenes to be a horribly done voice over(particularly one scene with the Chaccellor/Emperor), C) The beginning did in fact start as it was supposed to (every SW movie has started with atleast one shot of a star ship of some sort...) and that made me happy, D) There were whispers of a returning character...I shall mention no names...but the character did not return, though he was mentioned, E) If you get into movies at all...carry a tissue....you will need it, F) The traditional Star Wars 6th reel was AWESOME! , G) Obi Wan is the man...because anyone with one Light saber willing to take on someone with 4 is beyond cool, H) I'm serious about the tissues thing... I) Yoda...*sigh*....Yoda is probrobly one of the best fictional charactors in cinematic history...*sigh*....Yoda... J) everything was tied together beautifully....absolutely wonderfully I say... K) The movie in general....Loved it....It was the best of the new ones...I laughed, I cried....beautiful...of course, I am probrobly a bigger Star Wars fan than most :).....
Oh yea, did I mention that I got the best seat in the house....I love working at the theatre....hehe
Ah Well, I am done ranting...nothing really important today...maybe tomorrow.....
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Not if anything to say about it I have..."_Yoda, to the Emperor
Music of the Moment: Jet - Look what you've done
So....Awards day today...lovely....really...I mean, what is better than staying out until after three AM, just to get up at 6:45 the next morning to get to school before eight so that you can line up with a bunch of other people that are sitting there patting themselves on the back for their "accomplishments" over the past four years....everyone fails to realize this: When people look back at high school...do they reminisce about how lovely it was to get a perfect score on their freshman English exam...or how they were so proud that they had an ulcer by the age of 17 because they stressed so much over school...or how on awards day they got to go up to the stage like 10 times, as opposed to the one time that DeAnna girl's name was called? Let me tell you, later on down the road when them and their parents are thinking about all of the things they did in high school, thier academic accomplishments are probrobly going to be mentioned for about thirty seconds...honestly....after you go all the way through schooling, and get your career, you are really not going to care how you did in high school....yea, money for college is good...but God will provide you with what you need...so that is no big deal. I went through high school...I completed the lovely little "NC Scholars" program, and I got my little gold seal that looks nice on my diploma....but I didn't stress over it all the time, simply because I didn't need to. You get enough to get to the job you want.....you still end up at the same place in the end, whether you were on the A honor roll in high school makes no difference, you know.....the only time that anybody cares about it is right now, at this moment...but it won't make you any happier in life....you know...grrr....sorry....I just had a lot of time to think today, being as the only stimulation I had for 2 hours was the steady supply of mints from Adam Kassouf and Nick sitting one seat down and leaning over to tell me that his....uhhh....butt...was asleep, and then notifying me that it was "waking up"....hehe....watching him try to make it stop hurting was quite entertaining... :)
Well...on to happy news: Star Wars Episode III....my dear friends...I give it to you straight...A)there were a couple of times when it could have been better written in some parts(at no point in time should someone say "you're breaking my heart", and expect it to be taken seriously....though she did deliver the line beautifully...)but it was good for the most part as far as that goes, B) There were some Soundproblems that could have been caused by the actual projector and not the film....it looked in a couple of scenes to be a horribly done voice over(particularly one scene with the Chaccellor/Emperor), C) The beginning did in fact start as it was supposed to (every SW movie has started with atleast one shot of a star ship of some sort...) and that made me happy, D) There were whispers of a returning character...I shall mention no names...but the character did not return, though he was mentioned, E) If you get into movies at all...carry a tissue....you will need it, F) The traditional Star Wars 6th reel was AWESOME! , G) Obi Wan is the man...because anyone with one Light saber willing to take on someone with 4 is beyond cool, H) I'm serious about the tissues thing... I) Yoda...*sigh*....Yoda is probrobly one of the best fictional charactors in cinematic history...*sigh*....Yoda... J) everything was tied together beautifully....absolutely wonderfully I say... K) The movie in general....Loved it....It was the best of the new ones...I laughed, I cried....beautiful...of course, I am probrobly a bigger Star Wars fan than most :).....
Oh yea, did I mention that I got the best seat in the house....I love working at the theatre....hehe
Ah Well, I am done ranting...nothing really important today...maybe tomorrow.....
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Not if anything to say about it I have..."_Yoda, to the Emperor
5.18.2005
Mood of the Moment: In great anticipation
Music of the Moment: BF5- Brick
That which I have counted down to for months is now only hours away....and i am departing for it in only minutes....ahhh...be still my heart!! Tissues I must take...for my favorite good charactor shall inevitably die, and my favorite bad guy shall emerge....I am WAY too happy about this...really....
So anyway...today I was at the school....but required to attend NO CLASSES!!!! Mwahaha! oh, and the lovely little presentation that they show that is sort of required to have atleast one picture of each senior (usually the group pictures they took for the paper)....the one that just generally has the "cool" people in it a billion times and everyone else in it once...yea, I was in there 4 times....I didn't like it, because I was sitting there and all of a sudden I hear Nick scream my name at the top of his lungs (well, knowing him, he probrobly could have been louder, but still...) and I realize that it is b/c of a picture that was taken of me that I didn't realize....you dont understand....the pictures that they took to put in the paper, I carefully arranged a bathroom break during class that day so that I would not be in them....I at no point in time gave anyone permission to take a picture of me...but there were pictures of me in there.....more than one.....and I dont remember any of them.....confounded I was...but yea, then I got to go out and bug all of my LOWER CLASSMEN friends, and I couldn't really talk to many people b/c Jennifer latched on to me and took me as her senior pet. I felt like a show and tell item....but it is cool, because I never really felt myself important enough to be considered as a show and tell item...so I felt special.Probrobly some of my favorite parts of high school were class changes....I shall miss class changes...hehe...ah well....
yea, and I saw Brian, who seemed not to notice me...but I'm used to that...
I took about 52 billion pictures....it was interesting....
please notice that i am not talking about after I came home....really not much fun, just running a lot of errands with my grandmother, and taking care of kids!!! but yea, I must go now to prepare for Star Wars.....be back tomorrow!!!!!
Much Love,
DeAnna
"She was only a hard working factory girl..."
Music of the Moment: BF5- Brick
That which I have counted down to for months is now only hours away....and i am departing for it in only minutes....ahhh...be still my heart!! Tissues I must take...for my favorite good charactor shall inevitably die, and my favorite bad guy shall emerge....I am WAY too happy about this...really....
So anyway...today I was at the school....but required to attend NO CLASSES!!!! Mwahaha! oh, and the lovely little presentation that they show that is sort of required to have atleast one picture of each senior (usually the group pictures they took for the paper)....the one that just generally has the "cool" people in it a billion times and everyone else in it once...yea, I was in there 4 times....I didn't like it, because I was sitting there and all of a sudden I hear Nick scream my name at the top of his lungs (well, knowing him, he probrobly could have been louder, but still...) and I realize that it is b/c of a picture that was taken of me that I didn't realize....you dont understand....the pictures that they took to put in the paper, I carefully arranged a bathroom break during class that day so that I would not be in them....I at no point in time gave anyone permission to take a picture of me...but there were pictures of me in there.....more than one.....and I dont remember any of them.....confounded I was...but yea, then I got to go out and bug all of my LOWER CLASSMEN friends, and I couldn't really talk to many people b/c Jennifer latched on to me and took me as her senior pet. I felt like a show and tell item....but it is cool, because I never really felt myself important enough to be considered as a show and tell item...so I felt special.Probrobly some of my favorite parts of high school were class changes....I shall miss class changes...hehe...ah well....
yea, and I saw Brian, who seemed not to notice me...but I'm used to that...
I took about 52 billion pictures....it was interesting....
please notice that i am not talking about after I came home....really not much fun, just running a lot of errands with my grandmother, and taking care of kids!!! but yea, I must go now to prepare for Star Wars.....be back tomorrow!!!!!
Much Love,
DeAnna
"She was only a hard working factory girl..."
5.17.2005
Mood of the Moment: Tired...and i wish i had an answering machine...
Music of the Moment: Duncan Sheik: "Barely Breathing"...
I have one thing to say about high school....I'M DONE WITH IT!!!!!! HAHA!!!!! I HAPPY!!!!!!
but at the same time I am somewhat sad...I mean....so many memories...good times...my auditorium...which is mine by the way, Casie left her part of it to me....there is always atleast one male and one female i ownership, and casey left it to me....booyah! So I remembered that today, and after consideration, I have decided that I shall leave my part of the auditorium to Noelle....I can think of nobody more qualified/dedicated to theatre/drams club than she...hehe....me and my silly traditions....it's ok...only us "talicated" people would understand...*sigh* memories....I miss Brian....I'm gonna miss that theatre...but I think most of all I miss Brian in that theatre....hehe....I look forward to the return of Brian...there shall be the celebration of the century!!!! The Party of Legends!!!!hehe....
People kept asking me what was wrong today....it kinda got on my nerves...but 'twas ok....It felt nice that people cared...there really was nothing wrong....I just had a lot on my mind...
I went to Sydney's Graduation party today...it was nice...Erik was there....he's cool, he and I see eye to eye on many things.....except for literally of course ...because he is MUCH taller than me...but him and Kasie are so cute. We all had a water fight, and I just don't see it being as fun w/out him there. Oh yea, a little rule of thumb....when at a party, never remove any articles of clothing that are necessary....because it is inevitable that right when your dad calls to say that he is on his way to pick you up, you will discover that you have lost something....your shirt....pants....bra....something....in my case, it was all of it. It sucked...but all was found, and I was completely dry and clothed in time! Hehe...
But yea, I must go now....my mom is mad at me.....
until later....
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Glowing ember
Burning hot
Burning slow
Deep within I’m shaken by the violence
Of existing for only you
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
And I have sense to recognize but
I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go"
Music of the Moment: Duncan Sheik: "Barely Breathing"...
I have one thing to say about high school....I'M DONE WITH IT!!!!!! HAHA!!!!! I HAPPY!!!!!!
but at the same time I am somewhat sad...I mean....so many memories...good times...my auditorium...which is mine by the way, Casie left her part of it to me....there is always atleast one male and one female i ownership, and casey left it to me....booyah! So I remembered that today, and after consideration, I have decided that I shall leave my part of the auditorium to Noelle....I can think of nobody more qualified/dedicated to theatre/drams club than she...hehe....me and my silly traditions....it's ok...only us "talicated" people would understand...*sigh* memories....I miss Brian....I'm gonna miss that theatre...but I think most of all I miss Brian in that theatre....hehe....I look forward to the return of Brian...there shall be the celebration of the century!!!! The Party of Legends!!!!hehe....
People kept asking me what was wrong today....it kinda got on my nerves...but 'twas ok....It felt nice that people cared...there really was nothing wrong....I just had a lot on my mind...
I went to Sydney's Graduation party today...it was nice...Erik was there....he's cool, he and I see eye to eye on many things.....except for literally of course ...because he is MUCH taller than me...but him and Kasie are so cute. We all had a water fight, and I just don't see it being as fun w/out him there. Oh yea, a little rule of thumb....when at a party, never remove any articles of clothing that are necessary....because it is inevitable that right when your dad calls to say that he is on his way to pick you up, you will discover that you have lost something....your shirt....pants....bra....something....in my case, it was all of it. It sucked...but all was found, and I was completely dry and clothed in time! Hehe...
But yea, I must go now....my mom is mad at me.....
until later....
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Glowing ember
Burning hot
Burning slow
Deep within I’m shaken by the violence
Of existing for only you
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
And I have sense to recognize but
I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go"
5.16.2005
Mood of the Moment: Actually happy...oh, somebody snap a picture....
Music of the Moment: "Title and Registration", Deathcab for Cutie
So, in theatre today, I signed yearbooks....then I went to second and got a chance to go to the YES lab to work on me Sr. Project (grrr....). Yea, so I go in there and Max follows me and as I'm working he mentions that there is a class comming in there...ok, I'm cool with that..."so, what class is it, Max?"..."Oh, it's Mrs. Hayes..."....hmmm...that sounds familiar....oh well. Hehe...it turns out that I know about 5 people in that class (2 of which I really dont enjoy knowing....but they didn't speak to me, so that's cool), and two people whom I do enjoy speaking to sat close to me...and as much as I love my recently re-acquired right to talk to Brian, and my ability to talk to Crystal as well....I really needed to get my Senior Project done....and had they not been in there, I could have gotten done much sooner....but it was fun, and I got what I needed to done, so it all works out.
So the 3rd period exam....it had a lot of writing, and the desk was wierd, so my shoulder ended up being in a position that it HURT in, like a noticeable pain, not just average ache...it stinks, because I was distracted and didn't finish....OOOOHH, and the 4th period exam, we shall not even speak of.....because I hate history, and I have no review....heck, he is still teaching stuff in that class! Yea, it brought a whole new meaning to the phrase "multiple-guess"...I am actually sincerely worried....and I generally dont worry about exams...not my exams....this sucks....but, well...whatever...
Yea, so Jennifer was supposed to take me home today, but someone else did instead....and my father knows this...and didn't get mad!!!! There was no guilt trip...no lecture(well, about that anyway...)...no yelling....no punishments....It was GREAT!!! This does not mean that I did not recieve any lectures though...today I actually recieved a lecture about lectures....yea....only my Dad...
So I came home to find nobody here, and I was seriously considering calling somebody....but I decided that if someone wants to talk to me, they will call me...heh...apparently nobody wanted to talk to me...so i sat here alone until 6....ah well...
I shall most likely get to go swimming (as best I can) this wed....that is nice...hmmm....i also have Phys. Therapy and STAR WARS that night....hehe...I happy...
So yea...that is about it...mostly happy stuff today....so yay....
Much Love,
DeAnna
"What else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry.
I said I'm sorry , but for?
If I hurt you then I hate myself
Don't want to hate myself, don't want to hurt you
Why do you chew your pain?
If you only know how much
I love you, love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
I will be here"
Music of the Moment: "Title and Registration", Deathcab for Cutie
So, in theatre today, I signed yearbooks....then I went to second and got a chance to go to the YES lab to work on me Sr. Project (grrr....). Yea, so I go in there and Max follows me and as I'm working he mentions that there is a class comming in there...ok, I'm cool with that..."so, what class is it, Max?"..."Oh, it's Mrs. Hayes..."....hmmm...that sounds familiar....oh well. Hehe...it turns out that I know about 5 people in that class (2 of which I really dont enjoy knowing....but they didn't speak to me, so that's cool), and two people whom I do enjoy speaking to sat close to me...and as much as I love my recently re-acquired right to talk to Brian, and my ability to talk to Crystal as well....I really needed to get my Senior Project done....and had they not been in there, I could have gotten done much sooner....but it was fun, and I got what I needed to done, so it all works out.
So the 3rd period exam....it had a lot of writing, and the desk was wierd, so my shoulder ended up being in a position that it HURT in, like a noticeable pain, not just average ache...it stinks, because I was distracted and didn't finish....OOOOHH, and the 4th period exam, we shall not even speak of.....because I hate history, and I have no review....heck, he is still teaching stuff in that class! Yea, it brought a whole new meaning to the phrase "multiple-guess"...I am actually sincerely worried....and I generally dont worry about exams...not my exams....this sucks....but, well...whatever...
Yea, so Jennifer was supposed to take me home today, but someone else did instead....and my father knows this...and didn't get mad!!!! There was no guilt trip...no lecture(well, about that anyway...)...no yelling....no punishments....It was GREAT!!! This does not mean that I did not recieve any lectures though...today I actually recieved a lecture about lectures....yea....only my Dad...
So I came home to find nobody here, and I was seriously considering calling somebody....but I decided that if someone wants to talk to me, they will call me...heh...apparently nobody wanted to talk to me...so i sat here alone until 6....ah well...
I shall most likely get to go swimming (as best I can) this wed....that is nice...hmmm....i also have Phys. Therapy and STAR WARS that night....hehe...I happy...
So yea...that is about it...mostly happy stuff today....so yay....
Much Love,
DeAnna
"What else can I do?
I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry.
I said I'm sorry , but for?
If I hurt you then I hate myself
Don't want to hate myself, don't want to hurt you
Why do you chew your pain?
If you only know how much
I love you, love you
I won't be your winter
I won't be anyone's excuse to cry
We can be forgiven
I will be here"
5.15.2005
Mood of the Moment: worthless
Music of the Moment: Gary Jule, Mad World
So....School House Rock is OVER!!!!! DONE!!!!! MWAHAHA!!!! yea...I happy...although, in a way I am sad. You see, it was the last time I shall do the whole production thing with my friends at that school. Le Sigh...So last night was a very interesting night. I worked the door again. I was having a wonderful time, and then I saw CJC walk up....alone. Wanted to cry I did. I waqs happy to see her, though. It was the first time since TGI Fridays. I saw Pk...he came with Mrs. Poller (yea, noelle....I have reason to believe that they are more than friends...sorry dear...) they were so cute! Pk is just cute in general! Not teacher like at all! He asked me if I play bagpipes too, and it took me a second to figure out why...and I was just like "haha, no, I just wear the shirt..." Pk is so cute, I just want to pinch his cheek! But, yea...last night was cool, the theatre folks were pretty much all together again. The Craters, the Booths, Dan the Man, Nick/Jamie, No-L, Sugga, the Red-head, Oreo, the Asian, even the quiet one...but no Cuban. All night I would catch a glimpse of one of the Craters, or Torrey, and Boom, I'd miss Brian. We sang at the end of the play and I couldn't think of anything but Fridays...grr...such a sap I am...le sigh. I did get to go to eat afterwards...that was really fun...Posing for pictures galore! I rode with Eric to and from the restaurant...HA! Rules for riding W/ Eric: a) sit back, b)buckle up, c) hold on, d) pray....cuz you are going to need it!!!hehe! But I made it in one piece, and I got to go out away from the house for more than a few minutes, so that was great!
So yea...other than that there is not really much to report to this journal...but yea, parents are griping at me, so I must go now...perhaps there shall be more later....until then...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah"
Music of the Moment: Gary Jule, Mad World
So....School House Rock is OVER!!!!! DONE!!!!! MWAHAHA!!!! yea...I happy...although, in a way I am sad. You see, it was the last time I shall do the whole production thing with my friends at that school. Le Sigh...So last night was a very interesting night. I worked the door again. I was having a wonderful time, and then I saw CJC walk up....alone. Wanted to cry I did. I waqs happy to see her, though. It was the first time since TGI Fridays. I saw Pk...he came with Mrs. Poller (yea, noelle....I have reason to believe that they are more than friends...sorry dear...) they were so cute! Pk is just cute in general! Not teacher like at all! He asked me if I play bagpipes too, and it took me a second to figure out why...and I was just like "haha, no, I just wear the shirt..." Pk is so cute, I just want to pinch his cheek! But, yea...last night was cool, the theatre folks were pretty much all together again. The Craters, the Booths, Dan the Man, Nick/Jamie, No-L, Sugga, the Red-head, Oreo, the Asian, even the quiet one...but no Cuban. All night I would catch a glimpse of one of the Craters, or Torrey, and Boom, I'd miss Brian. We sang at the end of the play and I couldn't think of anything but Fridays...grr...such a sap I am...le sigh. I did get to go to eat afterwards...that was really fun...Posing for pictures galore! I rode with Eric to and from the restaurant...HA! Rules for riding W/ Eric: a) sit back, b)buckle up, c) hold on, d) pray....cuz you are going to need it!!!hehe! But I made it in one piece, and I got to go out away from the house for more than a few minutes, so that was great!
So yea...other than that there is not really much to report to this journal...but yea, parents are griping at me, so I must go now...perhaps there shall be more later....until then...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet
You're a slave to money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places
where all the veins meet yeah"
5.11.2005
Mood of the Moment: Worried...I'm working on me Sr.. Project...
Music of the Moment: Three Doors Down
Tell me...How, after being defined by high school for so many years, does one go about NOT being in high school? Granted, of course, I have not been in High School for as many years as some people...(I love you Cory :)...) but it is still one of those things...I don't know...
Anyway, speaking of worrying: Pray for Brian, he is very sick whether he admits it or not. Pray for Jennifer as well, but I shall not say why. Pray for my Senior Project...cuz I'm gonna need all the help I can get...
Yearbooks today...There was a memorial page for Chris...There shouldn't be a memorial page for anyone so young and lovely...there should be no reason to have to remember them...they should still be here...Chris should have been there today, telling me how much of a slacker I am for not having a yearbook yet...then offering to buy one for me when nobody is paying attention. He should have been there crammed beneath those bleachers with all the other seniors talking about how glad we are to be so close to being done...he should have been more than a few pictures on a page...It took me like 20 minutes to read the thing that his parents and Teenia wrote...It's hard to read when one is crying...it's hard to type that way too...I miss Chris...
ok, so I got to go to physical therapy today....yippee! *twist...pull...stretch*..."That doesn't hurt too bad does it??"<< yea, that my friends, is the most stupid question known to man...that ranks right up there with pouring salt into a wound and asking if it feels better....geez!
So today I think I discovered my new favorite pants...I like them because they are all big and comfortable, even though I do look like I am trying to impersonate a guy buy sagging, I dont show anything in them, so it works. Although, I did have someone tell me I had cankles today...*narrows eyes...*, ah well...such is the bread...
Hmmm...If someone you know and love is making a big deal about being completely against something happening...but you would actually like to see more of it....but they are speaking for you on the situation anyway...how do you go about telling them that you disagree with them w/out hurting their feelings/making them look like an idiot...hmmm....this is the question I shall contemplate tonight...
Dreams are a beautiful thing...but hopeless ones suck...sorry, can't elaborate...but that is just something on my mind right now...
I shall never be married, I shall me a nun...again, can't elaborate...appologies...
US history field test today...yea....about 3 fourths of the questions...I had to let the Force guide me through them....because I did NOT know what the answers were....which was odd, because for the life of me I cannot remember knowing so little on a test...*sigh*
Anywho, I still have some Sr. Stuff to do before I get to bed at my new parentally-assigned bedtime! *sarcastically* yay!!...*le sigh...*
June 15 cannot come soon enough...
Much love to all...
De Toi Tousjours,
DeAnna
"I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright'
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect"
Music of the Moment: Three Doors Down
Tell me...How, after being defined by high school for so many years, does one go about NOT being in high school? Granted, of course, I have not been in High School for as many years as some people...(I love you Cory :)...) but it is still one of those things...I don't know...
Anyway, speaking of worrying: Pray for Brian, he is very sick whether he admits it or not. Pray for Jennifer as well, but I shall not say why. Pray for my Senior Project...cuz I'm gonna need all the help I can get...
Yearbooks today...There was a memorial page for Chris...There shouldn't be a memorial page for anyone so young and lovely...there should be no reason to have to remember them...they should still be here...Chris should have been there today, telling me how much of a slacker I am for not having a yearbook yet...then offering to buy one for me when nobody is paying attention. He should have been there crammed beneath those bleachers with all the other seniors talking about how glad we are to be so close to being done...he should have been more than a few pictures on a page...It took me like 20 minutes to read the thing that his parents and Teenia wrote...It's hard to read when one is crying...it's hard to type that way too...I miss Chris...
ok, so I got to go to physical therapy today....yippee! *twist...pull...stretch*..."That doesn't hurt too bad does it??"<<
So today I think I discovered my new favorite pants...I like them because they are all big and comfortable, even though I do look like I am trying to impersonate a guy buy sagging, I dont show anything in them, so it works. Although, I did have someone tell me I had cankles today...*narrows eyes...*, ah well...such is the bread...
Hmmm...If someone you know and love is making a big deal about being completely against something happening...but you would actually like to see more of it....but they are speaking for you on the situation anyway...how do you go about telling them that you disagree with them w/out hurting their feelings/making them look like an idiot...hmmm....this is the question I shall contemplate tonight...
Dreams are a beautiful thing...but hopeless ones suck...sorry, can't elaborate...but that is just something on my mind right now...
I shall never be married, I shall me a nun...again, can't elaborate...appologies...
US history field test today...yea....about 3 fourths of the questions...I had to let the Force guide me through them....because I did NOT know what the answers were....which was odd, because for the life of me I cannot remember knowing so little on a test...*sigh*
Anywho, I still have some Sr. Stuff to do before I get to bed at my new parentally-assigned bedtime! *sarcastically* yay!!...*le sigh...*
June 15 cannot come soon enough...
Much love to all...
De Toi Tousjours,
DeAnna
"I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright'
Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect"
5.10.2005
Mood of the Moment: not sure
Music of the Moment: Anna Nalick, 2am (haha...that one's for you No-L)
Ok, I've come to the conclusion that I watch tv just for the commercials...because when the actual show is on, I get up and do stuff, and then come back for the commercials....is that odd?
Saw a yoda commercial tonight....8 days.....and the saga will be complete....well....minus the last three....but still...
Haha...I realized today that I know someone that is comming to see my show on thursday...If I am not mistaken.....you see, the entire sixth grade class, including the teachers, from the middle school are comming to see it on thursday...and I a couple of 6th grade teachers actually....hehe...
I got out of mi casa today!!!! Nobody can understand the sheer elation this brings me!!!!! I was happy for ever!!!!Then I came home and curled up on the couch with my sister so that she could tell me how much she missed me and we watched a movie...twas beautiful...
Random thought that made me laugh: This morning as I was looking in the kitchen for a possible breakfast (which I never found) I saw a quote on the top of a pop tart box: "I'll never turn to the dark side...I am a Jedi, like my father before me."...what is so funny you ask? It was said by Luke Skywalker...son of Darth Vader...(who is the best bad guy ever!)
Going mad I am...too long to wait it is....grrr...
Well, I'm gonna go watch a sappy movie now....I guess I love to torment myself...much love
DeAnna
"2Am and I'm still awake writing this song
If i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me
threaten' the life it belongs to.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand...
yeah breath
Just breathe"
Music of the Moment: Anna Nalick, 2am (haha...that one's for you No-L)
Ok, I've come to the conclusion that I watch tv just for the commercials...because when the actual show is on, I get up and do stuff, and then come back for the commercials....is that odd?
Saw a yoda commercial tonight....8 days.....and the saga will be complete....well....minus the last three....but still...
Haha...I realized today that I know someone that is comming to see my show on thursday...If I am not mistaken.....you see, the entire sixth grade class, including the teachers, from the middle school are comming to see it on thursday...and I a couple of 6th grade teachers actually....hehe...
I got out of mi casa today!!!! Nobody can understand the sheer elation this brings me!!!!! I was happy for ever!!!!Then I came home and curled up on the couch with my sister so that she could tell me how much she missed me and we watched a movie...twas beautiful...
Random thought that made me laugh: This morning as I was looking in the kitchen for a possible breakfast (which I never found) I saw a quote on the top of a pop tart box: "I'll never turn to the dark side...I am a Jedi, like my father before me."...what is so funny you ask? It was said by Luke Skywalker...son of Darth Vader...(who is the best bad guy ever!)
Going mad I am...too long to wait it is....grrr...
Well, I'm gonna go watch a sappy movie now....I guess I love to torment myself...much love
DeAnna
"2Am and I'm still awake writing this song
If i get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me
threaten' the life it belongs to.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to.
But you can't jump the track
We're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass glued to the table,
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand...
yeah breath
Just breathe"
5.09.2005
Mood of the Moment: Tired as crap...
Music of the Moment: You and Me, Lifehouse
So....it's six pm....and I am sitting in a hot van at a random gas station on south main. I have turned the keys to the position in which I can listen to music...I have the window rolled down, and my head and good arm are hanging out the window, watching my dad try to fix the massive hole that magically appeared in our tire. I have not been home all day...it was a go to work with dad day. I continue like this until 6:30...I end up falling asleep for about 5 minutes....and wake up with "Tuesday: Sen Proje" tatooed on my cheek. You see, I had written "Tuesday: Senior Project Pres." on my hand so as not to forget it...le sigh....but then I got to come home and have the house to myself for a while...I talked to Jennifer for a bit...I felt bad...I don't think she realized when she called how ready I was to talk to someone ...ah well...
I did play ddr for a very long time...I'm not sure exactly how long, I didn't look at the clock. but it was fun...and I am now tired as crap...but i probrobly wouldn't have stopped except for the fact that my aunt was online and accidentally took down my away message, allowing dear Jason to IM me. So I decided that 'twas time to end my little DDR fest...*sigh*....but there is always tomorrow!
I gave Sugga her card today...I got her a mother's day card being as she is a mother and all. On mother's day I wore my Tammy clothes. You know what stinks? Not having a grave to visit. I mean...I'd like to have a grave to visit for when I just want to talk to her, but nooo, she had to be cremated. Ah well...such is the bread...but I did get to wear her stuff on Mom's day, in remembrance of her, even if it was just me that realized it. *sits for a moment in silence* Please, if you are someone reading this that prays, pray for me and Brennan and the others...I'm not sure about them...but I still miss Tammy badly...thanks...
Oh, speaking of prayers, all of you that were on me and my PawPaw's side...THANK YOU!!! Today, we got results back from the biopsy of the lungs and mouth....and they all came back benine...and his lung is no longer collapsed!!!! Yippee!!! Hmmm...I can only think of 2 or three people that might read this that have met my PawPaw...(hehe, he loves Jennifer to death..."when is that little friend of yours gonna visit again??"...lol)...but yea....My PawPaw=the person I don't think I can live without. "Tis just the way it is. But yea...thank you all...(now if we can just get him to quit smoking...)
So yea, yesterday I went to barnes and Nobles and they had some calligraphy pens and ink...and I got one....an it broke! Such is my luck/life! Grr....
ooohhh....but while I was there...I saw the calenders....you should know the ones I speak of....the Star Wars Episode III calenders...oh I kow that I had to have stood there looking at only 2 variations of calenders for a good 15 minutes...ahhh....a thing of beauty I tell you....a thing of beauty...*sigh* I swear, if episode III is even HALF as HORRIBLY written as episode II...I...I...my...my faith in everything good in this world shall fade, really....
*regains composure*Ok...I'm good...I really should not adore films so...I believe it may be slowly approaching idolotry(sp?)...but it shall be ok...
ok, I must go now, 'tis quite late...and my pillow beckons...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe..."
Music of the Moment: You and Me, Lifehouse
So....it's six pm....and I am sitting in a hot van at a random gas station on south main. I have turned the keys to the position in which I can listen to music...I have the window rolled down, and my head and good arm are hanging out the window, watching my dad try to fix the massive hole that magically appeared in our tire. I have not been home all day...it was a go to work with dad day. I continue like this until 6:30...I end up falling asleep for about 5 minutes....and wake up with "Tuesday: Sen Proje" tatooed on my cheek. You see, I had written "Tuesday: Senior Project Pres." on my hand so as not to forget it...le sigh....but then I got to come home and have the house to myself for a while...I talked to Jennifer for a bit...I felt bad...I don't think she realized when she called how ready I was to talk to someone ...ah well...
I did play ddr for a very long time...I'm not sure exactly how long, I didn't look at the clock. but it was fun...and I am now tired as crap...but i probrobly wouldn't have stopped except for the fact that my aunt was online and accidentally took down my away message, allowing dear Jason to IM me. So I decided that 'twas time to end my little DDR fest...*sigh*....but there is always tomorrow!
I gave Sugga her card today...I got her a mother's day card being as she is a mother and all. On mother's day I wore my Tammy clothes. You know what stinks? Not having a grave to visit. I mean...I'd like to have a grave to visit for when I just want to talk to her, but nooo, she had to be cremated. Ah well...such is the bread...but I did get to wear her stuff on Mom's day, in remembrance of her, even if it was just me that realized it. *sits for a moment in silence* Please, if you are someone reading this that prays, pray for me and Brennan and the others...I'm not sure about them...but I still miss Tammy badly...thanks...
Oh, speaking of prayers, all of you that were on me and my PawPaw's side...THANK YOU!!! Today, we got results back from the biopsy of the lungs and mouth....and they all came back benine...and his lung is no longer collapsed!!!! Yippee!!! Hmmm...I can only think of 2 or three people that might read this that have met my PawPaw...(hehe, he loves Jennifer to death..."when is that little friend of yours gonna visit again??"...lol)...but yea....My PawPaw=the person I don't think I can live without. "Tis just the way it is. But yea...thank you all...(now if we can just get him to quit smoking...)
So yea, yesterday I went to barnes and Nobles and they had some calligraphy pens and ink...and I got one....an it broke! Such is my luck/life! Grr....
ooohhh....but while I was there...I saw the calenders....you should know the ones I speak of....the Star Wars Episode III calenders...oh I kow that I had to have stood there looking at only 2 variations of calenders for a good 15 minutes...ahhh....a thing of beauty I tell you....a thing of beauty...*sigh* I swear, if episode III is even HALF as HORRIBLY written as episode II...I...I...my...my faith in everything good in this world shall fade, really....
*regains composure*Ok...I'm good...I really should not adore films so...I believe it may be slowly approaching idolotry(sp?)...but it shall be ok...
ok, I must go now, 'tis quite late...and my pillow beckons...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe..."
5.07.2005
Mood of the Moment: Je veux a danser! (I want to dance)
Music of the Moment: Varied, current song: Pardon Me
Current discovery: DDR, no longer hurts! Mwahaha!! hehe. So in case you didn't notice, I got a little bored earlier...(ehh, if you don't know what I'm talking about look at the post beneath this one...)
I was introduced to someone today, and it made me very happy. I was talking to Jon, and he said he had someone to introduce me to, and I was like ok, and it was online, so he sent the dude me sn...yea...so...the actual guy, not so cool. He was uncouth, and cursed a lot, and generally annoying...BUT...he had 2 cool things about him: he has long hair...which, being as I never intend on seeing him in person anyway, means pretty much nothing...the second, however, was what made him mentionable....his name. 'Twas a beautiful thing: Rayne. I know not if it is his first or middle name , but care I do not. *sigh* If e'er I marry, and if e'er I have a son...my beloved husband shall have to deal with the name Ezekial Rayne...because my mind is mad up....I don't care which one he goes by....as long as that is his name....*ahhh, so beautiful a name...**sigh...*
Anyway, that was my entertainment for the day. There really isn't much to tell. Oh yea, my dad got a ticket, but I gave a very pleasing sob story(if I do say so meself...) and got it reduced by quite a bit....hehe...
but yea, I t'ink I'm gonna go now, my day has been uneventful, so there isn't much to talk about...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Chasin down the avanue
After a childhood that she never knew
Choking on woodbine
Cigarettes just kill the time
Now the walls are crawling faces
That still breathe
But before she nods her head
what's left but sleep?
She hears a chrous of factory girls
Singin's aoin and all
Empty are their pockets
their voices are filled with song
'Come day go day
Wish in my heart it was Sunday
Drinking buttermilk all the week
And whiskey on a Sunday'"
Music of the Moment: Varied, current song: Pardon Me
Current discovery: DDR, no longer hurts! Mwahaha!! hehe. So in case you didn't notice, I got a little bored earlier...(ehh, if you don't know what I'm talking about look at the post beneath this one...)
I was introduced to someone today, and it made me very happy. I was talking to Jon, and he said he had someone to introduce me to, and I was like ok, and it was online, so he sent the dude me sn...yea...so...the actual guy, not so cool. He was uncouth, and cursed a lot, and generally annoying...BUT...he had 2 cool things about him: he has long hair...which, being as I never intend on seeing him in person anyway, means pretty much nothing...the second, however, was what made him mentionable....his name. 'Twas a beautiful thing: Rayne. I know not if it is his first or middle name , but care I do not. *sigh* If e'er I marry, and if e'er I have a son...my beloved husband shall have to deal with the name Ezekial Rayne...because my mind is mad up....I don't care which one he goes by....as long as that is his name....*ahhh, so beautiful a name...**sigh...*
Anyway, that was my entertainment for the day. There really isn't much to tell. Oh yea, my dad got a ticket, but I gave a very pleasing sob story(if I do say so meself...) and got it reduced by quite a bit....hehe...
but yea, I t'ink I'm gonna go now, my day has been uneventful, so there isn't much to talk about...
Much Love,
DeAnna
"Chasin down the avanue
After a childhood that she never knew
Choking on woodbine
Cigarettes just kill the time
Now the walls are crawling faces
That still breathe
But before she nods her head
what's left but sleep?
She hears a chrous of factory girls
Singin's aoin and all
Empty are their pockets
their voices are filled with song
'Come day go day
Wish in my heart it was Sunday
Drinking buttermilk all the week
And whiskey on a Sunday'"
_____:_''''.'___:''::'______________________ ___..:..__:_____.''_:____________________
__:__''.____':____.'___________________
____:____:___:____:__________________ _____:___:___:_____:__________________ _____:____:___:____:__________________ ______:____:___:..''''''::._________________ _______:_...:..'_____.''__________________ _______.'___.'__..::::'___________________ ______:..''''':::::::________________________ ______'_________'::::___________________ __________________'::._________________ ___________________'::_________________ ____________________:::._______________ _______________..:'''.:''._::''.______________ ______________..'______':.:_::____________ _____________.:________.:'':::____________ _____________.:____..''_____:::___________ ______________:_.''_________.::___________ _______________:__________.''::__________ ___________________________::__________ ____________________________::_________ _____________________________:_________ ______________________________:________ _______________________________:_______ ________________________________:______ _________________________________:_____
In every desert, there's a rose...
__:__''.____':____.'___________________
____:____:___:____:__________________ _____:___:___:_____:__________________ _____:____:___:____:__________________ ______:____:___:..''''''::._________________ _______:_...:..'_____.''__________________ _______.'___.'__..::::'___________________ ______:..''''':::::::________________________ ______'_________'::::___________________ __________________'::._________________ ___________________'::_________________ ____________________:::._______________ _______________..:'''.:''._::''.______________ ______________..'______':.:_::____________ _____________.:________.:'':::____________ _____________.:____..''_____:::___________ ______________:_.''_________.::___________ _______________:__________.''::__________ ___________________________::__________ ____________________________::_________ _____________________________:_________ ______________________________:________ _______________________________:_______ ________________________________:______ _________________________________:_____
In every desert, there's a rose...
5.06.2005
Mood of the Moment: there are not words...
Music of the Moment: A mixed CD, my newest, and my new favorite...
Today I started the day worried, fearful of what the day may bring. And I went once again trembling to the place where I thought myself to be forbidden...and I went alone. Alone is always hardest...I've always wondered if people could tell I was shaking. Trembling from fear of being unwanted. If they couldn't I would be surprised. Today though, I was more scared than usual...because I knew...
I went on about my day, my normal day, nothing out of the ordinary...I had to stay after to take a test, but it's ok, because as I left my day was made both completely confusing and utterly...perfect. My father has the worst timing in the world, but it's ok. And today was one of those days when I had to go to work with him instead of home, but it's ok. And he wasn't happy at all, but it's ok. And he lectured all the way there, but it's ok. It is alright becauseToday it just so happens that I brought my CD player to school with me today...the CD player I rarely bring. And while he spoke, I just listened to my newest, most favored CD. And I know I'm in for a billion questions later....but it's ok. Well, I'm of now...have to eat, have to think, possibly more later...
Beaucoup D'Amour,
DeAnna
I will always find you,
so long as you let me,
because I love you,
and love doesn't fade.
I am, and will forever be,
your Death Valley Queen,
so long as you will let me...
Music of the Moment: A mixed CD, my newest, and my new favorite...
Today I started the day worried, fearful of what the day may bring. And I went once again trembling to the place where I thought myself to be forbidden...and I went alone. Alone is always hardest...I've always wondered if people could tell I was shaking. Trembling from fear of being unwanted. If they couldn't I would be surprised. Today though, I was more scared than usual...because I knew...
I went on about my day, my normal day, nothing out of the ordinary...I had to stay after to take a test, but it's ok, because as I left my day was made both completely confusing and utterly...perfect. My father has the worst timing in the world, but it's ok. And today was one of those days when I had to go to work with him instead of home, but it's ok. And he wasn't happy at all, but it's ok. And he lectured all the way there, but it's ok. It is alright becauseToday it just so happens that I brought my CD player to school with me today...the CD player I rarely bring. And while he spoke, I just listened to my newest, most favored CD. And I know I'm in for a billion questions later....but it's ok. Well, I'm of now...have to eat, have to think, possibly more later...
Beaucoup D'Amour,
DeAnna
I will always find you,
so long as you let me,
because I love you,
and love doesn't fade.
I am, and will forever be,
your Death Valley Queen,
so long as you will let me...
5.03.2005
Mood of the Moment: Rembembering the good days....though the bad ones keep popping up...
Music of the Moment: It's the End of the World as We Know it, REM *smiles at random good memory....*
Haha!!!! I remembered something really funny just a little while after school today...haha!!! (ok, so only Jennifer may get this..) My 4 week appointment is on cinco de Mayo...aka thursday, and I have multiple appoints that day because I have many things to do...therefore, it is very doubtful that I shall place a single toe onto school campus on Thursday!! HAHA!!!! I find this very amusing...and annoying, but still amusing...HAHA!!! Jennifer, dear, if you get not why I am so entertained, then thou shall have to ask me later...
So the only plans I had for this morning were somewhat thrown off, but plenty of time there is, there is always tomorrow, and if there isn't, then it is for good reason. I probrobly would have pansied out anyway...*sigh*...*smiles at her happiness in the new song that has come on (Deathcab - Title and Registration)... procedes to head bang in the most uncool way possible....*
Ahh....where was I...ah yes...prom pictures today....yea...Shal=WOOSH! GIANT!!, me=midget...grr...also, my glove blends in with my dress, so it looks like I have had some sort of wierd amputation, and I have a corsage attatched to my waist...you can't see the pinstripes that I so desperately wanted him to have...But otherwise it is a nice picture, except the half with me in it, though if you look you can see my favorite necklace, so that's a plus. We kinda do look crazy Gothic though...all Black and All....ah well...HAHA!.... in the group picture your attention is immediately drawn to Nick and Jamie because of the way everyone is posed...and In the picture Jamie's Dress looks white...and so Noelle and I both immediately came to the same comclusion as soon as we saw it: It looks like the two of them are getting married, and everyone else is the bridesmaids/bestmen...haha! I saw Jamie today and told her that, they were amused...poor Jamie, if she wasn't so sick I would have called her, I have a couple of explanations I'd like from her...ah well, I shall find out in time, as well as whether or not she is right...though I know the likelyhood of her correctness is great.*sigh...again*...on the brighter side of things again.....Shal actually looked like a really nice guy in those pictures, towering though he may be.....Isn't it amazing how a camera can sometimes WARP reality to such extremes as to make the photograph the exact opposite of the truth!?!?haha!
I got to cook tonight, and therefore I ate a full dinner...bleh, still stuffed..but it was good, and that's cool because usually I don't think my cooking is very good...*remembers the stuff she bought to make brownies...* hmmm....I eander if P-to-the-K-poweris ready for another fudgy treat??? I should really make him a tree...I dont know, I'd have to ask him what kind he wanted first.....easiest=oak.....hardest=willow....knowing my luck he'd want a willow....hehe.
*starts bobbing head to another song...(The Killers -Somebody told me...)*
So, a few days ago I came to a conclusion...If I cannot be a nun, then I shall definately end up like Sydney Carton. For anyone who doesn't know who that is, it is a charactor in a charles dickens book. He is brilliant (ok, so I wont be JUST like him...), but he has no success because pretty much he has no real thing to live for, he says that he has made no bonds of any fond kind to anyone on this earth. He does, however, love one person, wholeheartedly, though his love is unreciprocated. What does he do...he helps hook her up with her husband, and simply spends time with her and her family, he swears to her to do anything he can to help her...basically, in the end, he has the oppurtunity to save her husband's life, by sacrificing his own. He chooses the valiant path...and sends word to her (that she will recieve after he is dead...) that basically says "I promised I'd do anything to make you happy, and I meant it..." I cried the first time I read that book...ok, and the second....and when I watched the movie....and when I read the abridged version....ok,I admit it....but yea, the famous last quote is what he says just before he died: "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known."...*le sigh* *points at self* I am a hopeless romantic...
ok, so I watched american Idol tonight, and they mention several times that constantine was gone...and it's because people didn't vote...haha! I think it is because Noelle only voted 23 times in stead of a hundred and fifty! HAHA! I <3>
Ok, so I had some stuff I need to talk to Shelly about today (somewhere other than the commons area, due to proximity of certain people), But I was unable to because other people accompanied us to the courtyard...ah well, it can wait until tom.
haha, ready for a random list of things that do (or would)make me happy?!?:
-Brian's safe return home from Afghanistan. C'mon people, pray for him...pray harder...on your knees now! (just kidding :), though prayers are appreciated greatly)
-brownies
-the conversation I recently had with Jon (I miss my purple hair, too...)
-If I could have my car back
-If I could have the ability to drive my car back
-listening to him play this morning
-the song I'm listening to RIGHT NOW *head-bangs in an uncool way*
-Jessie's got a clean (non-cancerous) bill of health!
-Bohemian Rhapsody
-cars that have a "no traction" light in the dash
-Lord of the Rings
-people saying I look like a certain famous person who shall remain nameless (i dont think I do)
-My set
-STAR WARS (oh yea, revenge of the Sith, only about 14 days....for me atleast, haha, proud employee of carmike I am!)
-Brian's smile (if it is real)
-Being in a position that is horribly uncomfortable either in the back seat of a car or on the couch, but being unable to move because I have one of my two favorite people (olivia/josh) laying on either side of me asleep and I dont want to wake them....tis a beautiful thing
HAHA! That's all I feel like putting at the moment...and I was gonna do a whole "what makes me sad" list, but I dont feel like typing that many things...my #1 thing : Worrying about what I think is going to happen....
Ah well, I must go now, Much Love,
DeAnna
"the glove compartment isn't accurately named
and everybody knows it.
so i'm proposing a swift orderly change.
cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
and all i find are souvenirs from better times
before the gleam of your taillights fading east
to find yourself a better life.
i was searching for some legal document
as the rain beat down on the hood
when i stumbled upon pictures i tried to forget
and that's how this idea was drilled into my head
cause it's too important
to stay the way it's been"_ Deathcab for Cutie - Title and Registration
Music of the Moment: It's the End of the World as We Know it, REM *smiles at random good memory....*
Haha!!!! I remembered something really funny just a little while after school today...haha!!! (ok, so only Jennifer may get this..) My 4 week appointment is on cinco de Mayo...aka thursday, and I have multiple appoints that day because I have many things to do...therefore, it is very doubtful that I shall place a single toe onto school campus on Thursday!! HAHA!!!! I find this very amusing...and annoying, but still amusing...HAHA!!! Jennifer, dear, if you get not why I am so entertained, then thou shall have to ask me later...
So the only plans I had for this morning were somewhat thrown off, but plenty of time there is, there is always tomorrow, and if there isn't, then it is for good reason. I probrobly would have pansied out anyway...*sigh*...*smiles at her happiness in the new song that has come on (Deathcab - Title and Registration)... procedes to head bang in the most uncool way possible....*
Ahh....where was I...ah yes...prom pictures today....yea...Shal=WOOSH! GIANT!!, me=midget...grr...also, my glove blends in with my dress, so it looks like I have had some sort of wierd amputation, and I have a corsage attatched to my waist...you can't see the pinstripes that I so desperately wanted him to have...But otherwise it is a nice picture, except the half with me in it, though if you look you can see my favorite necklace, so that's a plus. We kinda do look crazy Gothic though...all Black and All....ah well...HAHA!.... in the group picture your attention is immediately drawn to Nick and Jamie because of the way everyone is posed...and In the picture Jamie's Dress looks white...and so Noelle and I both immediately came to the same comclusion as soon as we saw it: It looks like the two of them are getting married, and everyone else is the bridesmaids/bestmen...haha! I saw Jamie today and told her that, they were amused...poor Jamie, if she wasn't so sick I would have called her, I have a couple of explanations I'd like from her...ah well, I shall find out in time, as well as whether or not she is right...though I know the likelyhood of her correctness is great.*sigh...again*...on the brighter side of things again.....Shal actually looked like a really nice guy in those pictures, towering though he may be.....Isn't it amazing how a camera can sometimes WARP reality to such extremes as to make the photograph the exact opposite of the truth!?!?haha!
I got to cook tonight, and therefore I ate a full dinner...bleh, still stuffed..but it was good, and that's cool because usually I don't think my cooking is very good...*remembers the stuff she bought to make brownies...* hmmm....I eander if P-to-the-K-poweris ready for another fudgy treat??? I should really make him a tree...I dont know, I'd have to ask him what kind he wanted first.....easiest=oak.....hardest=willow....knowing my luck he'd want a willow....hehe.
*starts bobbing head to another song...(The Killers -Somebody told me...)*
So, a few days ago I came to a conclusion...If I cannot be a nun, then I shall definately end up like Sydney Carton. For anyone who doesn't know who that is, it is a charactor in a charles dickens book. He is brilliant (ok, so I wont be JUST like him...), but he has no success because pretty much he has no real thing to live for, he says that he has made no bonds of any fond kind to anyone on this earth. He does, however, love one person, wholeheartedly, though his love is unreciprocated. What does he do...he helps hook her up with her husband, and simply spends time with her and her family, he swears to her to do anything he can to help her...basically, in the end, he has the oppurtunity to save her husband's life, by sacrificing his own. He chooses the valiant path...and sends word to her (that she will recieve after he is dead...) that basically says "I promised I'd do anything to make you happy, and I meant it..." I cried the first time I read that book...ok, and the second....and when I watched the movie....and when I read the abridged version....ok,I admit it....but yea, the famous last quote is what he says just before he died: "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to, than I have ever known."...*le sigh* *points at self* I am a hopeless romantic...
ok, so I watched american Idol tonight, and they mention several times that constantine was gone...and it's because people didn't vote...haha! I think it is because Noelle only voted 23 times in stead of a hundred and fifty! HAHA! I <3>
Ok, so I had some stuff I need to talk to Shelly about today (somewhere other than the commons area, due to proximity of certain people), But I was unable to because other people accompanied us to the courtyard...ah well, it can wait until tom.
haha, ready for a random list of things that do (or would)make me happy?!?:
-Brian's safe return home from Afghanistan. C'mon people, pray for him...pray harder...on your knees now! (just kidding :), though prayers are appreciated greatly)
-brownies
-the conversation I recently had with Jon (I miss my purple hair, too...)
-If I could have my car back
-If I could have the ability to drive my car back
-listening to him play this morning
-the song I'm listening to RIGHT NOW *head-bangs in an uncool way*
-Jessie's got a clean (non-cancerous) bill of health!
-Bohemian Rhapsody
-cars that have a "no traction" light in the dash
-Lord of the Rings
-people saying I look like a certain famous person who shall remain nameless (i dont think I do)
-My set
-STAR WARS (oh yea, revenge of the Sith, only about 14 days....for me atleast, haha, proud employee of carmike I am!)
-Brian's smile (if it is real)
-Being in a position that is horribly uncomfortable either in the back seat of a car or on the couch, but being unable to move because I have one of my two favorite people (olivia/josh) laying on either side of me asleep and I dont want to wake them....tis a beautiful thing
HAHA! That's all I feel like putting at the moment...and I was gonna do a whole "what makes me sad" list, but I dont feel like typing that many things...my #1 thing : Worrying about what I think is going to happen....
Ah well, I must go now, Much Love,
DeAnna
"the glove compartment isn't accurately named
and everybody knows it.
so i'm proposing a swift orderly change.
cause behind its door there's nothing to keep my fingers warm
and all i find are souvenirs from better times
before the gleam of your taillights fading east
to find yourself a better life.
i was searching for some legal document
as the rain beat down on the hood
when i stumbled upon pictures i tried to forget
and that's how this idea was drilled into my head
cause it's too important
to stay the way it's been"_ Deathcab for Cutie - Title and Registration
5.01.2005
Mood of the Moment: Confused, frustrated, upset, head-aching...But otherwise good.
Music of the Moment: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (by: Barenaked Ladies and Sarah M.)
Ok, everyone, today is a day, simply a day. It is God's day, which is the good part of it that makes it a neutral day. Otherwise, it is not too great. I just have many annoying things on my mind... Due to current frustrations, I shall simply state some of them...
-To Noelle/Jason: I love you both dearly...having said that:I've got an Idea, make up you're mind on something! I think it's lovely that the both of you value your other friends' opinions, but in all honesty the both of you are simply making it hard on yourself by always re-asking the same questions. Both of you want my opinion: Sit down face to face like adults and talk. Sit there, as long as it takes to decide what you are going to do, don't let tempers get involved, and figure it out....because as much as I appreciate the fact that you trust my advice, I cannot tell you what is in your heart, or what you are going to believe. Does this mean that I am commanding you never to ask for my advice again....no. I enjoy giving advice, and I'm sure every other person you ask does as well, but I am just telling you that my biggest piece of advice to both of you is that no piece of advice is going to solve anything, it is up to the two of you. And that is not just for the two of you, it is for everybody....
-To Jennifer: I love you, very much. You, however, have told me of your lack of respect/liking for me, and therefore I tell you this: I bind you to nothing, in fact I understand completely, I don't like me too much either...and keeping up a friendship with someone you don't like is hard...I get that...I love you, I trust you, whatever...
-To Brian: (Ah, yes, everyone reading now is now on the edge of her seat because DeAnna is finally ballsey enough to do something directly towards Brian.) *sigh* I love you, I don't trust you. I'm not going to explain why, If you don't already know, then you can simply ask, I will not simply ignore someone when they come around, I do not stoop that low. Although, if you have to ask why I don't trust you, then you probrobly wouldn't understand anyway. The reason I have decided to send you any sort of message is simply because I have been told by every mutual friend that we have that you have some sort of plan, and that said plan involves me. On top of that many have gone on to say that they know nothing about it other than it is "vengeful"... in all honesty, I don't know, there are some who say that it isn't, some that say that it is...don't know, but I'm tired of worrying about it, and I shall go with the flow...just know that I love you, and if you actually wanted to, my trust could be regained, because I never burn bridges(which may be stupid on my part)....but if your lovely little plan is what people are saying, if it is designed to hurt me, hehe, believe it or not, I don't care...I may be upset, for a while, but it shall simply help me to dislike you to the point that I don't care if you don't want to talk to me anymore. So, yea, this is me...wishing you would talk you me again...but knowing that if you are scheming some evil plot....then I tell you to go for it: see how many friends you'll lose... I miss you, I love you, but I'm just tired of games...
-To Dad: Heh, no comment...
-To Lady Luck: Could you please show your good side to me, at least occasionally??
Alright, 'tis all I am going to say right now, Please don't think that, if I said anything to any of you that it was said in a mean ton whatsoever, hehe, in all honesty, I have just recently taken a pain pill and I don't think I could get mad if I tried...I just decided that today I was going to go the opposite of my usual way (very cryptic), and be very open. So, there you have it. Currently, however, I have rice that has sat in a bowl of hot water for an hour and is now ready to be transformed into oh-so-delicious sticky rice! *randomly bursts into the lime/coconut song*
Much Love to you all....Really....
DeAnna
"Is there something here to believe
Or is it just another part of the game?
there's something I cant see
Something living in the way you smile
Behind those eyes you lie
And there's nothing i can say
Cause I'm never gonna change your mind
Behind those eyes you hide"
Music of the Moment: God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (by: Barenaked Ladies and Sarah M.)
Ok, everyone, today is a day, simply a day. It is God's day, which is the good part of it that makes it a neutral day. Otherwise, it is not too great. I just have many annoying things on my mind... Due to current frustrations, I shall simply state some of them...
-To Noelle/Jason: I love you both dearly...having said that:I've got an Idea, make up you're mind on something! I think it's lovely that the both of you value your other friends' opinions, but in all honesty the both of you are simply making it hard on yourself by always re-asking the same questions. Both of you want my opinion: Sit down face to face like adults and talk. Sit there, as long as it takes to decide what you are going to do, don't let tempers get involved, and figure it out....because as much as I appreciate the fact that you trust my advice, I cannot tell you what is in your heart, or what you are going to believe. Does this mean that I am commanding you never to ask for my advice again....no. I enjoy giving advice, and I'm sure every other person you ask does as well, but I am just telling you that my biggest piece of advice to both of you is that no piece of advice is going to solve anything, it is up to the two of you. And that is not just for the two of you, it is for everybody....
-To Jennifer: I love you, very much. You, however, have told me of your lack of respect/liking for me, and therefore I tell you this: I bind you to nothing, in fact I understand completely, I don't like me too much either...and keeping up a friendship with someone you don't like is hard...I get that...I love you, I trust you, whatever...
-To Brian: (Ah, yes, everyone reading now is now on the edge of her seat because DeAnna is finally ballsey enough to do something directly towards Brian.) *sigh* I love you, I don't trust you. I'm not going to explain why, If you don't already know, then you can simply ask, I will not simply ignore someone when they come around, I do not stoop that low. Although, if you have to ask why I don't trust you, then you probrobly wouldn't understand anyway. The reason I have decided to send you any sort of message is simply because I have been told by every mutual friend that we have that you have some sort of plan, and that said plan involves me. On top of that many have gone on to say that they know nothing about it other than it is "vengeful"... in all honesty, I don't know, there are some who say that it isn't, some that say that it is...don't know, but I'm tired of worrying about it, and I shall go with the flow...just know that I love you, and if you actually wanted to, my trust could be regained, because I never burn bridges(which may be stupid on my part)....but if your lovely little plan is what people are saying, if it is designed to hurt me, hehe, believe it or not, I don't care...I may be upset, for a while, but it shall simply help me to dislike you to the point that I don't care if you don't want to talk to me anymore. So, yea, this is me...wishing you would talk you me again...but knowing that if you are scheming some evil plot....then I tell you to go for it: see how many friends you'll lose... I miss you, I love you, but I'm just tired of games...
-To Dad: Heh, no comment...
-To Lady Luck: Could you please show your good side to me, at least occasionally??
Alright, 'tis all I am going to say right now, Please don't think that, if I said anything to any of you that it was said in a mean ton whatsoever, hehe, in all honesty, I have just recently taken a pain pill and I don't think I could get mad if I tried...I just decided that today I was going to go the opposite of my usual way (very cryptic), and be very open. So, there you have it. Currently, however, I have rice that has sat in a bowl of hot water for an hour and is now ready to be transformed into oh-so-delicious sticky rice! *randomly bursts into the lime/coconut song*
Much Love to you all....Really....
DeAnna
"Is there something here to believe
Or is it just another part of the game?
there's something I cant see
Something living in the way you smile
Behind those eyes you lie
And there's nothing i can say
Cause I'm never gonna change your mind
Behind those eyes you hide"
