I DreAm in ShAdes of Violet

I get paid today!!!! Woo Hoo.....unfortunately all of it is pretty much already spent....but still....I'll have like a 30 dollars that aren't going to go to pay something off, so I'm gonna use about 20 of them to buy a b-day gift....YaY! That'll leave me with ten dollars....that should last me two weeks...after everything else is paid.....hmmm.....oh well....I GET PAID TODAL!!!!! haha....

oh look, it is 12:18 on a school day!! PANIC!!! Haha, not really, I have time to kill before I have to be at school...mwahaha....I heart college. Oh, and speaking of college...to all of my junior friends...if you dont know what college you are going to, you should come to Harvard by the highway with ME!!! Because I'm sick of having to make friends...the only person that I knew in any of my classes was Katie, and I only see her every other day...I want people I know...hehe...

ok, done typing, just figured I'd say something since I'm gonna end up being at work until like midnight thirty tonight....so yea....much love...
DeAnna

Bring on
the next
Empty relationship...

Mood of the Moment: I have a lot to do tomorrow
Music of the Moment: Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved (Jennifer's song!)

Ok, School today....boring.....came home, bought my tickets (see previous post)...did some school stuff, talked to some people online, and actually finally started on my bloody letter. Then I went contra dancing, being as it is Tuesday, then HOPin' afterwards...always fun...probrobly because Brad's skirt is just so rad...haha...Carrie flipped over my necklace as usual, and thanks to my shirt I found out that one of the contra regulars plays bagpipes...which I didn't know, but I wasn't surprised. Of course the dude asked me where I got my shirt and such...but I just sort of kept that brief...haha...

hmmm....note to self....remember to stop by game stop next week...must ask favor of Will...

Have you ever thought about someone, like someone you haven't seen in a while...and missed them....and thought "maybe they miss me too"...but then think about it again and you realize that you know that they dont? I dont know if that made any sense, it is a wierd concept...and I am tired...and I am beginning to ramble, so stop I shall....until next time...
Much Love,
DeAnna

But you always find a way
To keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say
to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away
would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say
to keep me right here waiting?

Mood of the Moment: Hehe, I am 18...
Music of the Moment: Randy Travis - 3 wooden crosses

Ahhh...the spoils of being 18...mwahaha....I have already gotten tickets....

oh, speaking of being 18...I was buying cigarettes today...and I got carded...the funny thing is, I think it is the first time I've ever been carded.....wierd...

anyway, I gotta go see if I can find a ride to contra. If anyone old enough wants to accompany me, just call me at my house or at work...If I am not at either place, then they can tell you when I'll be there next. anywho, until later...
DeAnna

She's never pulled anyone from a burning building
She's never rocked Central Park
to a half a million fans, screaming out her name
She's never hit a shot to win the game
She's never left her footprints on the moon
She's never made a solo hot air balloon ride,
around the world,
No, she's just your everyday average girl
but she's somebody's hero
A hero to her baby with a skinned up knee
A little kiss is all she needs
The keeper of the cheerios
The voice that brings Snow White to life
Bedtime stories every night
And that smile lets her know
She's somebody's hero...

Mood of the Moment: What?! a day off?!? does not compute...
Music of the Moment: Sarah M. & Bare Naked Ladies - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

My homework is done for a month, and I am no longer a part time trainee in projection. I am no longer a downstairs worker, but I am a full time projectionist. There is a booth meeting soon, and basically that is when we all state the days we want to work......and there is sort of an hierarchy as far as who gets to choose their days first. out of like 9 people, I come second...Scott is first, since he is head projectionist. He gets to choose his 5 days, then I get to choose 4 for myself, then others fight over the rest. No joke, it is so cool...he is leaving in like a week and a half, and while he is gone I am the head night projectionist. Lenard will be working days, but will need managerial supervision. Lenard and I started at the same time, but he is still in training, and will be until Scott leaves....because he cannot yet work on his own. I am pretty much going into like my third shift alone this wednesday though, which makes me happy...

Ok, so on to more important things....ok, so every time I start up a conversation with the guy I like (who happens to be a co-worker) then his very good friend (also a co-worker) comes up and joins in. So he did this last night and after a few minutes the guy I like (We'll just call him S) walked away. Me and his friend (who we'll call K) kept talking for a few minutes....I mean, his friend is cool and all to hang out with...but not like that. So yea, basically K ends up saying the classic overused line "You look hot...like...both definitions of the word..." oh wow...I was surprised...but yea, I was just like, "uhhh, thanks". A little while later S came up and talked some more, so I was happy...but then they had to go and actually work and I had to go...um...play "Death Jr." on PSP... so later on I was talking to another downstairs worker(who shall be called D) and the conversation went something like this:

Me: So, does K tell like every girl he sees that they are hott, or what?
D: OH! You mean he actually told you!!!
Me: yea, why?
D: he said he was going to, he really likes you, I mean it is annoying, because he always mentions when he saw you through the port-glass and sh-t like that...
Me: oh, really? well...that's good to know I guess...even though I don't like him like that...but I'm flattered....
D: Wyrd...you want mee to tell him that for you?
Me: Nah, I'll handle it...

(Later on that night, S asked me if I wanted to join him for his smoke break, I was like "SURE!!" only much less obvious. So we talk for a bit. After several "Dude! Me Too!" and "Yea, I get that" moments we somehow got around to saying something about K...and the conversation goes along these lines...)
Me: I dont really see very much that is the same between the two of you..
S: Nah, we are really different, but we do have some things in common
Me: Yea, like when you both ask me the same question and creep me out?
S: Haha, yea, that's one. We are both slackers too. And for dsome reason we always seem to like the same girls too.
Me: Oh really? That could be a problem...
S: Not really, usually I just sort of end up hanging back, and he makes a move
Me: Well that isn't very smart of you
S: Yea, but I'm not gonna compete with one of my best friends over a girl
Me: Who knows, she may like you more than him and just not say anything because she is scared to
S: well if that is the case then she would turn him down when he makes his move...and then I might start talking to her...(throws down cigarette, opens door and holds it for me to wal through)
Me: Well that makes sense I guess...
S: I thought so...
Me: you know you really should quit smoking...
S: OH give me a break I'm trying.....

Hehehe...that makes me happy....it really does...like it made me silly-girly-happy there for a little bit, but then I calmed down, once I found out that the PSP was leaving for the night...then the boredom set in....haha...I heart work...

But yea, I have to go to school tomorrow, so I go now the the realm of sleep...I may not post for a while, I have contra tomorrow, then the next day I have work, then the next day I get off work a little early, but I'm using that time to buy a b-day gift for my friend, then friday and saturday and sunday I work everyday...so yea, just like usual, if anyone wants to come at either like eight or ten-ish and keep me company, feel free....but yea, until later...
Much Love,
DeAnna

here comes the rain again
falling from the stars
drenched in my pain again
becoming who we are
as my memory rests
but never forgets
what I lost
wake me up
when september ends

Work and school have consumed my life...I'll be back in four years....

~DeAnna~

Oh, and by the way, if you go to see the Brothers Grimm, wait until I can get you in, I wouldn't pay 7.50 to see it....it was pretty decent though...

I got one more spam...no more anonymous comments...I'm off to work now...I doubt that I will be on afterwards simply bacause I will prob. be at work until like 2am, so yea...much love, more tomorrow...
DeAnna

oh yea, and to(in random order) Jennifer, Shelly, Crystal, Brian, Amy, Josh, Jessie, Noelle, Jason, and any other High School student...I hope you had a good first day...

Mood of the Moment: one more spam....just one more...comments will be locked...
Music of the Moment: Beck - Loser

ok, so I am contemplating driving by the high school at like 3 tomorrow so that I can look at all of the sad, pitiful little....I mean...the awesome people that are going to the high school!! Haha! Oh well. If it makes any of you high school inmates feel any better, tomorrow is my early day...I have to be at school at 9:30, fortunately I only have to do that 2 days a week, the other three I have to be there at 1pm...so yea...oh, and my break is like an hour, and I can go to subway...mwahaha...I enjoy college.

Anywho, I was talking online tonight when I realized that I have become one of those one syllable response people. I mean, at least most of the time...poor Crystal probrobly wishes that I had a mute button at times. I've told her that she can just say "Deanna...shut up"...and I would....but she never has...so I keep talking...ah well...

I really enjoy having Katie in me psy. class...it makes it much more entertaining, simply because we are both people that comment on what is said by the teacher. I think that my sociology teacher is gonna be a lot like Pk, which is cool...hmmm...speaking of Pk...I must contact him...

Anywho, really I didn't do much today...except for go to school...but if anyone would like to come and see me at work, come around like 8 sometime in the next few days, I'll be upstairs, you just gotta ask the door people or the box people...and I get really bored between like 8 and nine, so that is why I advertise for people to come and see me. Like really, it makes my day. Stephan came up and hung out for a bit the other day, and I was all happy, it was funny...but yea...

I am off to bed now, simply because I have to get up early tomorrow to get the kids ready for school...
Much Love,
DeAnna

Dont let me die
before i go to sleep
And i cant keep going
But i cant start again

Mood of the Moment: Of course I feel great, I just came from contra...
Music of the Moment: The Killers - Mr. Brightside

Ok, my school gave away packages of samples today for free...it had several samples...lotions, shampoos, etc...but the main thing that caught my attention as I was looking through the package (in my RELIGION class) was the obviously labeled condom that managed to slip out of my hand, onto the floor, and under the person's chair in front of me. yea, that is lovely...welcome to college...I kept it, even though I have no use for it. I'm just odd like that.

But yea, I went Contra-dancing and HOPin' tonight...mucho fun, as always. We had a lot of odd dances...so Andrew and I figured we could break a rule or two and nobody would notice. We danced for like three dances, then we waltzed during the break. After that there was a swing sance, but Ron wasn't there and I didn't feel like finding someone else to swing with. So it kind of sucked, because he literally showed up like 30 seconds after it was over. But yea...there were a lot of squares tonight, but oh well...then HOPin' was fun as usual...I just had some hot cocoa, I wasn't hungry, so yea...afterwards Ron brought me home....and like 70% of the way there we realized that he so did not have ANY lights on whatsoever....but neither of us had noticed until there was a big gap in the street lights...it was amusing...but yea, came home and talked to Emily, Crystal, Nick, and Jordan....and now I am here...and now I am tired....
Much Love,
DeAnna

Somebody told me
that you had a boyfriend
that looked like a girlfriend
that I had in february of last year...

ok, so I literally just picked up the phone...after trying to get up the courage for the last hour...and I dialed a number...I let it ring once...freaked...and hung up...haha...I'm so wierd...but yea, the reason I decided to write about it is because I realized that I called at exactly 7:03...hehe...to those of you deathcab fans....you'll understand...it makes it even funnier if you know who I was about to call...haha...so amusing....ah well...I'm off to prepare for dancing...
Much Love,
DeAnna

All the boys in every girlie magazine
cant make me feel any less alone
I'm reaching for the phone
to call at 7:03
and on your machine I slur a plea
for you to come home
but I know it's too late
I should have
given you a reason to stay

Mood of the Moment: still confused, but too tired/busy to worry about it...
Music of the Moment: REM - It's the end of the world as we know it (that is all Matt's bloody fault)

Ok, today I went to the Doctor with my Paw-Paw(I have to go back on Friday at 11 so that they can teach me how to give him injections, he has to go on insulin, and he shakes too much to do it himself), then I went to food lion with my family, on the way I passed the school and saw a few people that were there to get their pics taken...some I hadn't seen in a while...but none of them saw me mwahaha! hehe... then I came home and got ready for school...then I went to school...then I came home and hung out for a while...then I got a call from work saying "please come"...so I went...that is where it got interesting...

I worked on concessions with Candace, *sadness* Dustin was on door *sadness*...but we really weren't that busy, so I didn't really stay behind concessions. I hated being downstairs in general...dang vest and bowtie...so stupid. Anyway, something very odd happened tonight...actually several odd things. ok, first, there was this football player type that was really nice when he came through the line...and he asked when I was getting off work...which I'm used to, a lot of people ask that...and I told him when, he seemed disappointed, so when I told him to enjoy the show he said he would enjoy it a lot more if I could watch it with him...I was proud....because apparent;y it is really cool to have a football player type hit on you or whatever, even though I have no use for those types...but yea, that is only the beginning...

There really aren't very many of you that will understand why this was really strange for me...but yea...When I was working tonight Sean(a co-worker) came in, he had with him a very...um....physically attractive friend whose name I unfortunately dont know...he then proceedes to come over there and him and his oh so lovely friend talk to me for a bit, then he walks away for a bit and it is just me and the friend...after a moment I found myself wondering why he hung out with sean, because they are nothing alike, and this dude actually seems pretty cool....but anyway after a little while sean comes back, after making a phone call, and he says he has a surprise for me, but he cant tell me what, and I will know within the next 15 minutes. I figure he is just being wierd. Dustin walks over and starts talking for a second...then stephen walks in, and walks over...(hmm...to those of you that know the back ground, are you understanding the wierdness...if so...dont worry...it gets better...)so yea, Dustin walks away after a minute so he can go work, but I still have nothing to do, so I am sitting there talking to Sean, Sean's friend, and stephen...then out of nowhere, sean gets me to trade him some change for a couple of dollars, and as he goes off to play the games he looks at me and goes "Guess who's back..." I didn't get it, until I looked and realized that walking towanrd me was bloody Alex! What the crap!? so yea, the next few minutes really surpassed awkward...I mean....really...but the funny thing was, that all of the awkwardness was for me, it wasn't wierd for anyone else...grr,...it was so aggrivating...I wanted to kill sean... although...I dont guess that it was too bad being surrounded by such "aestetically pleasing" gentlemen...haha...oh well...it was over in just a few short minutes...but it left an impression...

Anywho, afterwards I went upstairs to take my drawer up as usual, and me and Dustin listened to some things on Matt's playlist while we played solitaire and listened to Bart tell about her nifty new software...Dustin got aggrivated with the solitaire game...it was funny...and the REM song came on and me and Matt sang along, as Dustin looked on amazed and Bart shook her head as if to say "you guys are SOOO wierd..." hehe, isn't life beautiful. Then I got a phone call from downstairs saying that my ride was there, so I gave everyone a hug and said goodbye (yea, that's right, I hug my manager, because he is that cool)and came home and now I am here...the end...I am tired now, and therefore I am going to bed...until later...
Much Love,
DeAnna

A tournament,
a tournament,
a tournament of lies.
Offer me solutions,
offer me alternatives
and I decline

I'm freaking confused for so many different reasons....why did I come back...why did I start caring again...grr...more some other time...maybe.....provided that I can get My DAD TO STOP READING MY BLOODY BLOG!!!!!!
Much love,
DeAnna

"Rub the Magic fuzz"_ Dustin...that statement was promptly followed by a demented sounding laugh...hehe...that's my Dustin...

Ok, so I'm bloody tired, but I cannot go to bed yet because I refuse to go to bed before my sister, because if I am asleep when she goes in there, she will wake me up, and i shall not be able to sleep again. I am dead tired though...and it is because of that that I am brave enough to do/say a couple of things...like the fact that I kinda feel bad, because I think I am beginning to like someone that is not only NOT the guy that I am seeing...but he is in fact one of his good friends...tell me that isn't bad. I am also brave enough to make a couple of changes in the link section that one might have to be rather astute to notice...mwahaha...that one may not last long, being as I may get smarter by tomorrow and change it back after I am rested, but until then, I'm going to go see if I can convince my sister to go to bed...
Much Love,
Me

"Ron Burgandy is doown and he is out!"_ Quote that Scott repeated a billion times tonight...*smiles*

Mood of the Moment: Deliciously Fatigued
Music of the Moment: Muse - Stockholm Syndrome

Ok, so work last night was very interesting. I was aggrivated when I first went in and asked where Dustin was, only to discover that he had traded with someone last minute, and wouldn't be there that night. Grr...but all was well because he called Scott's cell phone later and explained why he wasn't there even though he had PROMISED me that he would be. So yea, he is gonna work today, but he said he is gonna look for someone to give up their night shift so that he can work with me since we wont have a chance to work together for a few days. But yea, I was really busy last night actually, so it wouldn't have mattered much if he had been there, unless he came upstairs to see me. Haha, apparently someone came to see me though...I just have no clue as to who. Yea, I came downstairs to wash my hands because I had black stuff all over them from the movie I had started breaking down, and I got some H2O in my cup and I was headed upstairs to thread the seven o'clocks...and one of the nameless new girls was like "hey DeAnna! You're here!" and I was like "Yea, it's like magic, I just walked through the door and all of a sudden I was here!" and she was like "come here"...so I went over and she was like"Yea, some guy came in here just a couple of minutes ago and asked if you were here, because he hadn't seen you in a while and wanted to see you...but I dont know where he went..." and she went on to try to describe him to me...yea, that didn't help...so I have no real clue who it was...although I do find it interesting that someone wanted to see me enough to specifically ask for me, that doesn't happen much. Haha, it was probrobly just massive cheap dude that was looking for cheap tickets...apparently he had a girlfriend, so whatever...I can think of two people that fit that description that I would actually care about actually seeing...one has moved away, the other one would not be asking for me...so whatever...

But yea, I threaded the entire 7:00 show last night, alone, and I started 3...which may mean nothing to most of you, but it is pretty darn good. I kinda tripped up on the nine oclocks though...but he said that was ok. I mean, I broke down a movie too, so I think I did ok. But yea...it is sad that I really dont have anything to talk about besides work...but i really dont have anything else...except school...and there is nothing to talk about there...I mean...it isn't like I do much else except sit around here, or go to see Kody, or play jeopardy with the kids, or watch movies at home....that's about it...I lead an incredibly boring life...which may explain why nobody really wants to be a part of it...

I do have contra dancing though...haha, it was so funny...in our little intro. in psych. class when Katie read my lovely little card and she was like "DeAnna likes um...contra...dancing....whatever that is..." hehe...interesting it is....mwahaha...but alas...I must go prepare to work now...haha, fun fun...
Much Love,
DeAnna

Inside my heart is breaking.
My makeup may be flaking
But my smile still stays on...
The show must go on...

Mood of the Moment: Welcome to Life DeAnna...
Music of the Moment: Muse - The small print

ok, so I realize that I have not updated in an exceptionally long time for me. I appologize, my internet has been down. Though even if it hadn't been, I have been quite busy anyway...I have kind of been on the run, between taking care of kids, working like a mad woman, writing, starting school, running errands, it has just been crazy.... Not much truly important stuff I guess...I mean, I got my promotion, I am not only a projectionist, but I am training to be the main night time projectionist...which is a beautiful thing for me. I started school, today as a matter of fact. it is muy cool b/c KATIE is in my psy. class. Woo hoo! (I speak of katie jewell by the way...) but yea...mostly just everyday stuff has happened, every day, since i have last written on this thing. I got my liscence back, well, renewed, or whatever...and I have unofficially taken on Dustin's car as my own...mwahaha...his car=mucho fun to drive. Hehe, I am random, I know this, it is just that random things are coming to my head from like the last couple of week so I am just mentioning them. I have been contra dancing of course...I finally got the oppurtunity/nerve to talk to the really cute guy there...so nice, funny, smart...gay. Of course...such is the bread of an everyday life. Oh yea, I am also most of the way done reading the LotR trilogy again...then I have two books that i have to read for school that I am going to get out of the way, then I have decided to read the rest of the Harry Potter books, just because I am intrigued...I can do it...I wont fall asleep this time...apparently after the second book it gets better, and after the third it gets really cool...so...I can do this..(It took me forever to finish the first one and I got halfway through the second because I kept getting distracted/bored...)

I made more on my last paycheck then one of my managers...just so you know what mean by working like a mad woman.

Just for people to know...I dont mean to seem mean or anything...but if one more person tells me that they saw any specific person on the tv the other day, I'm gonna just puke....I know who was on tv the other day, I got 2 phone calls that day and like 6 people have told me since...It isn't that I don't know...it's that I dont care...geez....whoa....speaking of which...look at the time, it seems that I am off now...I have to do things...maybe more later...If you come to the theatre tonight, I'll be upstairs, mwahaha...

Much Love,
DeAnna

and all her friends tell her
she's so pretty
but she'd be a whole lot prettier
if she smiled once in a while
`cause even her smile
looks like a frown
she's seen her share of devils
in this angel town

Mood of the Moment: my eyes feel like they're gonna bleed...
Music of the Moment: Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I went to the doctor today...I never look nice to see the doctor. I dont see much point, I mean, he saw me before, during, and after surgery. You know, that time when I was drugged and drooling and talking about how purple bunnies were hopping on the ceiling, and puking up food that wasn't there because I had not eaten since the day before....I figure if he saw all this....he doesn't care if my hair is a little messy or if I wear my bum jeans for my LAST (FINAL) check up...Ufortunately, he chose that today he was going to use me as a model for the type of surgery that I had. Hmm...this would be ok, except for the fact that I had on one of those shirt things that they provide (aka, hardly anything)...and the people that I was modeling for was a football player and his family from virginia. Once again, this wouldn't have been that bad, except for the fact that it was not a normal bulky stupid football player, he was a rather cute football player that spoke with some semblance of intellegence as the doctor wrenched my arm about in various positions...then they asked me questions and his father(?) mentioned that I looked familiar...like he had seen me somewhere...and his mom said that she thought it might be that one actress, but she couldn't remember her name...(by this point I know my face was red)...but I simply said I didn't know who she was talking about, and then the doctor let me go change...geez...why me...so embarassing...but the kid was really quite cute...

Anywho, after that I went to IHOP to get some Whipped Cream with a pancake hidden somewhere underneath, and then to school to do some things...then to Belks to get my brother's glasses fixed and look at some possible new ones for me, then came home and really didn't do anything but chill out w/Kody.

Later tonight I talked to dear Jennifer on the phone, then came here, and now I am about to go watch a lovely movie...until later...
Much Love,
DeAnna


Do you ever feel like crying?

Do you ever feel like giving up?

I raise my hands up towards the sky,

I say this prayer for you tonight,

Because nothing is impossible.



As I sit here all alone,

I wonder how I'm suppose to carry on when you're gone.

I'll never be the same without you,

I love you more then you will ever know.

So maybe now you finally know.

Sometimes we're helpless and alone,

But you can let it keep you weighted down.

You must go on.

Do What You Have To Do
What ravages of spirit
Conjured this temptuous rage
Created you a monster
Broken by the rules of love
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do
And fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do ...
And I have the sense to recognize that
I don’t know how to let you go
Every moment marked
With apparitions of your soul
I’m ever swiftly moving
Trying to escape this desire
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
The yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
But I have the sense to recognize
That I don’t know how
To let you go
I don’t know how
To let you go
A glowing ember
Burning hot
Burning slow
Deep within I’m shaken by the violence
Of existing for only you
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
I know I can’t be with you
I do what I have to do
And I have sense to recognize but
I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go

I have listened to that song like 5 times...but I just remembered I have to go to the doctor at 8 in the morning...joy...
Much Love,
DeAnna


Well as for now I'm gonna hear the saddest songs,

and sit alone and wonder

how you're making out.

But as for me I wish that I was anywhere...

With anyone...

making out...

Mood of the Moment: Tired, but feeling better than earlier
Music of the Moment: Three Doors Down - Let me go

OK, so my dad and I "discussed" things all the way to where I met up with my friends...at which point his manarism completely changed to being nice, sweet Mr. Kelly...arg...

I was quite excited to learn that we have a newcomer, however. We had one of the Condons (justin) to join us tonight....and he seemed to enjoy it. He said he was coming back, and that he wanted to invite people. WE promptly told him the rule, of course...(rule: you must bring at least one guy for every girl you invite, that is just the way it is, and it shall remain that way)...

I also found it very nice (dare I say flattering) that I had to work to get a break from dancing tonight. You see, generally, there are at least a few dances where I have to sit out because there are a ton more girls than guys. Nearly every other time I have refused to stand near Emily simply because if a dude looks at me and Emily, he shall choose to ask Emily to dance. Even if I am not standing with Emily, there are still lots of times that I will not be asked...and it kind of saddens me...But tonight was different. I got asked to dance on every single contra dance, on one I even declined because I needed to sit one out (I sporadically have asthma troubles, and I had a bit of trouble tonight, but nothing too bad...) But yea, it was really funny, because I would be in mid-sentence talking to someone and a dude would ask me to dance...it was so cool! I felt special. Scott was there tonight (scott is my older, possibly gay contra-mentor/friend) and he came in late, but I saw him while I was in the middle of a dance, and he gave my the "we're gonna waltz" look...haha, it is nifty. While we were waltzing he said that he had a partner for the next dance already, but he would try to catch me sometime before the night is over. Unfortunately he did not have the chance, because other people kept getting to me first...haha, next time...but yea, after i got done dancing with him, I barely made it back to the edge of the dance floor to talk to Justin and Ron before some other dude asked me to dance...and after that yet another one asked, but I needed a break....so I went over to rub my success in Emily's face!! Mwahaha!!!! I mean....I LOVE YOU EMILY!!!! YOU ARE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE!!..haha...

Of course, after the dances were over, all of the contra people go to IHOP for some conversing about...um...everything...haha...mucho fun...then we took Justin back to his car (which had miraculously moved...) and came home...I am quite happy with the knowledge that I have two people who I have promised a dance to next time I go...ahh yes...Emily...I am awesome....haha, just kidding, the dudes are just really nice like that...hehe...but yea, i came home and watched the last half of Phantom of the Opera, and then came in here...so yea, I am done now....until I return...
Much Love,
DeAnna

You make me hate what I see
When I see me
Yeah I dream of the day
When I learn to make you pay
Someday I’ll teach you to beg
Someday, someday
Yes I live for the day
When I can hear you say
"You make me feel like a whore"
Yes I dream of the time
When I can make you mine...

My dad and I are argueing...right now....oh....he just threw some things....oh, now he is saying that I live just to piss him off/disappoint him....oh this is lovely....oh yea, now I live to make him feel like a screw up....wow...this is amazing....I wish I had the money to move out...

anyway...*dodges flying object*....I am going contra dancing tonight....hopefully it shall cheer me up some more...I have been with Kody since 2, so that helped...before that I went woth my G-ma to get her hair done...I was very relieved that she decided not to tell the lady all about my personal business...because right now I am just tired of people being in my personal business....but yea...I was kinda depressed a few minutes ago when I read a friends AIM profile and there was just a massive reminder of how un-important I am...but oh well....as if my dad was not enough...speaking of my dad...he has started again...I must go now...I'll prob. be back on later...
Much Love,
DeAnna

I'm sorry
I can't be
perfect...

Mood of the Moment: Tired yet foolishly excited...
Music of the Moment: Sarah M. - Angel

Ok, so work today was interesting. The trusty computers were once again not so trusty...so everything had to be done by hand, but it really didn't affect me much becaust I was on door. I worked with some pretty cool people, and it was a week night so i spent most of my time talking to Dustin and Bart or Steve. Swan was managing, I felt bad for him because it is really tough on managers when the computers go down. (by the way, woot for Swan, who is finally marrying Lynn on the 10th of September...) But yea, Judy was also there for a while, and as she left I got to talk to her and I found out that I have like a 50/50 shot for the projectionist opening!!!! AHHHH!!! SO HAPPY!!!! *calms down*....ok....I'm ok....besides, I doubt that I will get it anyway, because Randall hates me...le sigh...
Anyway, I saw several people tonight, for example, I saw Jon, who walked up from behind me an hugged me...he said it was a birthday present from him since he didn't know what to get me...and we got to talk for a bit, and his dad was there (his dad adores me....I think I just sort of have that effect on parents....especially dads) it was somewhat interesting. I also got to see tyler, which was entertaining....because I think the only reason that that kid talks to me is so that he can get popcorn....and I am pretty positive that the reason he wanted popcorn is because he had the munchies like all....haha....so amusing...

I had the pleasure of doing a theatre check in "The Island" tonight....I happened to walk in on a part that reminds me of Brian B....haha, it is entertaining. I was supposed to do a theatre check in "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", but i made Dustin do it...because last time I did a theatre check in that movie I got stopped by someone who insisted that I resemble a certain actress...and I didn't want that to happen again...not that it helped any though, because I still ended up cleaning that theatre and i still had two different people say it...grr...blind people are...

I rode to work with my grandmother today, and she has this uncanny ability to pick out the one thing that I really do not want to think about at the moment and talk about it the entire time. Today the subject was recent events including my father among other things...she spent part of the time telling me how sorry she was for me, and part of it telling me how wrong my father has been, and part of it trying to give me advice, part of it trying to give me hope...she fils to realize that there is no hope...my father won...again...just like always...and I just dont want to think about it...I appologize as most of those reading this will not understand what the crap I am talking about...but yea....I just needed to rant a bit...

But yea, I really did nothing today but work and think...mostly think, actually, so yea...I am going to end this post now, before it takes a sad turn....
Much Love,
DeAnna

There's always some reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end
of the day...

Mood of the Moment: Frustrated with this God-forsaken hunk of plastic known as a computer...
Music of the Moment: The Killers - Mr. Brightside

I just typed a rather nice post to put on here, and I was in the last paragraph as well as being in the middle of a conversation with one of my friends when my blasted computer decided that it was time for it to reboot...blasted piece of bloody machinery...grr...oh well...such is life...my life at least...

Anyway, for lack of wanting to type everything again, I shall give you the shortened version:

-Work was cool today, I messed with the newbies heads, letting them think that I was new, and that they were all cool, then bursting their bubble....it isn't mean...I am helping them be humble....not prideful...builds character...

-There are whispers running about the theatre that they need another projectionist to start training for the coming school year, since one is going off to school...I have also had two managers say that I would be a good choice...*angelic music comes from above...then a record scratchy sound...*unfortunately, neither of the two managers that said that is the one that decides who gets the job...THE JOB...the job of jobs....the proverbial paradise of the theatre...le sigh....the one who decided doesn't like me, and therefore I doubt I shall get it...

-On the more up side of work...I got to work with Jeffs for two hours, and DUSTIN for three hours...which was mucho fun

-Ok, so after work I saw the late show of "The Island"...alone...but yea, the movie was really nice...and I got to hear Ewan Mcgregor speak in his true accent for a while...which makes me happy, because he has one of the nifty-est accents in hollywood (it is scottish, by the way)...see, a lot of people think that he uses his real accent when you see him in the movies, but that is not true... I know this, because I watch interviews...haha...

-please note that I saw the movie alone...which I think is just the way that I was meant to do things...'tis practice for nunhood...

-after the movie I came home and argued with my dad for a while, then got on the computer...and now I am here...and I am done...
Much Love,
DeAnna

And all the boys in every girlie magazine
Can't make me feel any less alone
I'm reaching for the phone
To call at 7:03
and on your machine
I slur a plea for you to come home
But i know it's too late
I should have given you a reason
to stay...