I DreAm in ShAdes of Violet

My heart is not broken. That isn't the proper thing to say. No, the best way to truly describe how I am right now is this: My soul, my life, my love, everything inside of me that I have to give has been viciously ripped out...and it is still with someone else. Even though he doesn't want it. I keep trying to get it back...but I can't...he doesn't seem to know that he has it...well...maybe he does, and he just doesn't care. He's broken right now...and it is not me that did it...I think that that is what hurts worse...I don't know how to help him...and I know he doesn't want me to. He has everything of me, and it seems that he has given everything to her...only to find that she didn't want it. Seeing him like that as I drove away, and knowing I could do nothing about it, killed me. When I see him I keep acting like I'm ok, I've convinced most everyone. But in all truth I can't eat, it just comes back up, I can't sleep because he haunts my dreams, I can barely breathe...it feels like I have to mentally tell my lungs to expand and my heart how to beat, because they have lost the will to do it on their own...I don't want him back, really, I mean, God knows that I would love it, but I just want him to stop hurting...I want him to be ok, I want him to be happy, I realize now that I can't do it, I just wish I knew who could...I don't know what to do...

Today's the day
When dreaming ends...
Another hero.
Another mindless crime.
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime.
On and on
Does anybody know
What we are living for
Whatever happens
We leave it all to chance
Another heartache
Another failed romance
On and on
Does anybody know
What we are living for
The show must go on
The show must go on
Outside the dawn is breaking
On the stage that holds
Our final destiny
The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My makeup may be flaking
But my smile still stays on
The show must go on
The show must go on
I'll top the bill
I'll earn the kill
I have to find the will to carry
On with the
On with the
On with the show