8.28.2006
Mood of the Moment: Tired
Music of the Moment: Stone Sour- Bother
Seanie leaves for basic this week. The horny little brother that years ago I came to know and strangely enough love. He is leaving for basic this tuesday. I thought tonight as we were chillin' at the theatre about how much the both of us have changed since I first met that retard. It's an amazing thought, it truly is. Probrobly even more funny is the fact that I met Sean and Breezy years ago, yet they have not affected me as much as the other brothers. I include Justin in that. I mean, of course there is obviously Stephen, who took me to Heaven and the dropped me into Hell repeatedly...and showed me exactly how much I can take, and completely broke my heart...but I still care about him more than I think even he will ever know. And there is Justin, who for some strange reason not only doesn't mind my presence but seems to enjoy it. He is living proof thet there really are still good guys on this earth, and it makes me so amazingly proud every time he calls me his sister. And then of course there is Jared, whom I am almost afraid to speak of here simply because I know that he may read it. Jared is someone I would trust with my life and everything in it. Whether he knows it or not he has become the voice inside my head a lot of times, and I don't really mind that at all. *smiles*And to boost his ego...he too broke my heart in a way....but that's another story...heh, I hate valentines day...
But back to the point: I think I'm just going to attach ,yself to Sean's leg on Tuesday morning. It may not be able to necessarily physically stop him, but I know that if I were wrapped around Sean's leg, he'd suddenly feel very inclined to stay here. Thus, the problem of yet another brother leaving shall be fixed.
About the problem I mentioned in my last post: on friday night I stayed over at Sean's Mom's house and over the course of the evening I got positively shitfaced. In the process of the alcohol taking affect the thoughts of what I wanted kept getting stronger in my mind. I just thought about how much I want to fight for it, I realized I really do. But I also knew that I couldn't...Not without turning into someone I hate. I thought of the three things holding me back. I can't fight...not this time. I'll let it go, and one day I'll look back at it and wonder how it might have affected me...but I'll get over it....I know I will...I can take it...
God this probrobly makes no sense...I hope it doesn't...it should only make sense to one person, and I don't think he knows that this exists...so yea...
anyway...I have to get up in less that 2.5 hours, so I'm gonna go try to sleep...
peace,
~D~
Music of the Moment: Stone Sour- Bother
Seanie leaves for basic this week. The horny little brother that years ago I came to know and strangely enough love. He is leaving for basic this tuesday. I thought tonight as we were chillin' at the theatre about how much the both of us have changed since I first met that retard. It's an amazing thought, it truly is. Probrobly even more funny is the fact that I met Sean and Breezy years ago, yet they have not affected me as much as the other brothers. I include Justin in that. I mean, of course there is obviously Stephen, who took me to Heaven and the dropped me into Hell repeatedly...and showed me exactly how much I can take, and completely broke my heart...but I still care about him more than I think even he will ever know. And there is Justin, who for some strange reason not only doesn't mind my presence but seems to enjoy it. He is living proof thet there really are still good guys on this earth, and it makes me so amazingly proud every time he calls me his sister. And then of course there is Jared, whom I am almost afraid to speak of here simply because I know that he may read it. Jared is someone I would trust with my life and everything in it. Whether he knows it or not he has become the voice inside my head a lot of times, and I don't really mind that at all. *smiles*And to boost his ego...he too broke my heart in a way....but that's another story...heh, I hate valentines day...
But back to the point: I think I'm just going to attach ,yself to Sean's leg on Tuesday morning. It may not be able to necessarily physically stop him, but I know that if I were wrapped around Sean's leg, he'd suddenly feel very inclined to stay here. Thus, the problem of yet another brother leaving shall be fixed.
About the problem I mentioned in my last post: on friday night I stayed over at Sean's Mom's house and over the course of the evening I got positively shitfaced. In the process of the alcohol taking affect the thoughts of what I wanted kept getting stronger in my mind. I just thought about how much I want to fight for it, I realized I really do. But I also knew that I couldn't...Not without turning into someone I hate. I thought of the three things holding me back. I can't fight...not this time. I'll let it go, and one day I'll look back at it and wonder how it might have affected me...but I'll get over it....I know I will...I can take it...
God this probrobly makes no sense...I hope it doesn't...it should only make sense to one person, and I don't think he knows that this exists...so yea...
anyway...I have to get up in less that 2.5 hours, so I'm gonna go try to sleep...
peace,
~D~
# posted by DeAnna : 2:44 AM
