I DreAm in ShAdes of Violet

OK, guys, I promised a talk about something I contemplate often, but right now I really don't feel like depressing myself more. I am actually in a good mood right now. Over the weekend I was reminded for a while of that which i cannot have again, and also of why I cant have it. It was great and it sucked all at the same time. But enough of that, on to better things. I was hit on this weekend. By someone attractive! In a nice way! It was awesome! The kid must have problems, because he wanted to see ME! He must be desperate for some reason. I don't know. It's not like I really like anybody right now anyway. I kinda like a couple of people. Nobody will know until later though. I know who I want to come to prom with me. I dont want the dude that some of my previous posts have been about. He's changed. I'm still in love with the guy that I originally fell for, but he's not that guy anymore. I've come to that conclusion. It's like there are two of him, and I don't know which one is the real one. Anyway.....I dont know if the person I want to come with me would even consider it. He graduated already, and if he does come, it'll probrobly be with someone else. He was really sweet last year, and danced the last slow dance with me. It made me incredibly happy. I dont want to go alone again this year. I dont want to have to go off to my corner and cry again when that song plays....the one that reminds me of chris. That was like two hours of make-up down the drain. It sucked. but I couldn't help it, I felt completely alone. I don't want to do that again. But I have no way to stop it. Nobody would ever even consider going to prom with me. Not even the especially nice person that I want to go. In case anyone is wondering, it is my theatre friend Danny. He is a sweetheart. But I wouldn't want to burden him by asking him to come with me, because even if he said yes, it would be out of pity.....I dont want that.
Wow....I've been rambling in a bad way. I'm sorry. I'm afraid I'm tired, so I'm gonna go now, I'll see if I can get on tom. to type some more.....until then,
DeAnna