10.22.2004
"When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I 'm a creep
I 'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
(S)he's running out again
(S)he's running out
(S)he run, run, run run Run
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here."_Radiohead
Today was cool, for the most part, but this song has a special significance to me now. My car is now the only one working in the family. I went to TGIF, I had some pina colada-y goodness, that was yummy. But it has really been a boring friday night, like I used to have, before I had a friend to do stuff with, and now I once again have nobody to do anything with. That's what sucks. But I'm happy. I wish my friend Jennifer would let me take a picture of her and shelly, it'd be so cool if I could get it. but they just wont let me. I'm talking to one of my friends right now. she thinks I'm drunk. Does she not know my Heritage!? I'm both Irish and Scots. Now she is being upset, the thinks she is not good enough because no dudes like her. She is one of the best people I've ever met. In ways she is a very brave soul, in others she is lacking in self confidence. She is Dangerously selfless, which is honorable, but hard to do. It wears away at you, and it has her. She speaks of death far too much for my comfort, and I have a fairly high tolerance.....if I can put up with the people that I used to, than I can put up with a lot. You dont know what it is like to see cuts on someone you love's wrists. It hurts, alot. but back to the point. My friend is a wonderful person, one day she will hopefully realize that. Right now she is trapped in her selfless nature to the extent that she cares what other people think of her, and thinks that that is the same as caring for them. but I've learned that you dont have to care what someone thinks of you, to care about them. Sometimes in order to do what is best for a person you must do something that will make them despise you, and it hurts, more than words can say, but you must have enough self confidence to make it through. She'll get there one day, I know she will, she is strong, very strong, and very beautiful, and simply wonderful, now all she needs is to figure that out.
Well, for some reason after saying that I feel much better....so tah-tah for now,
DreAm on,
DeAnna
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special
But I 'm a creep
I 'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
(S)he's running out again
(S)he's running out
(S)he run, run, run run Run
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here
I don't belong here."_Radiohead
Today was cool, for the most part, but this song has a special significance to me now. My car is now the only one working in the family. I went to TGIF, I had some pina colada-y goodness, that was yummy. But it has really been a boring friday night, like I used to have, before I had a friend to do stuff with, and now I once again have nobody to do anything with. That's what sucks. But I'm happy. I wish my friend Jennifer would let me take a picture of her and shelly, it'd be so cool if I could get it. but they just wont let me. I'm talking to one of my friends right now. she thinks I'm drunk. Does she not know my Heritage!? I'm both Irish and Scots. Now she is being upset, the thinks she is not good enough because no dudes like her. She is one of the best people I've ever met. In ways she is a very brave soul, in others she is lacking in self confidence. She is Dangerously selfless, which is honorable, but hard to do. It wears away at you, and it has her. She speaks of death far too much for my comfort, and I have a fairly high tolerance.....if I can put up with the people that I used to, than I can put up with a lot. You dont know what it is like to see cuts on someone you love's wrists. It hurts, alot. but back to the point. My friend is a wonderful person, one day she will hopefully realize that. Right now she is trapped in her selfless nature to the extent that she cares what other people think of her, and thinks that that is the same as caring for them. but I've learned that you dont have to care what someone thinks of you, to care about them. Sometimes in order to do what is best for a person you must do something that will make them despise you, and it hurts, more than words can say, but you must have enough self confidence to make it through. She'll get there one day, I know she will, she is strong, very strong, and very beautiful, and simply wonderful, now all she needs is to figure that out.
Well, for some reason after saying that I feel much better....so tah-tah for now,
DreAm on,
DeAnna
# posted by DeAnna : 10:31 PM
